Originally Posted by jdooner

I posted for the first time 30 days ago, broken, selfish and pompous. I wrote about how sobriety sucks and what an awful life this must be. I judged the people around me on this board while they welcomed me with open arms. I whined about a drink and my reckless romance with coke. I had my red dress on and was dancing with the devil even in sobriety. To me I was above reproach and you were here to help me. I chastised some and hurt others. My intentions were vein and disingenuous. To me it was all about me. What a jackass that boy was. I have been reborn in this process and grown more in the past month than in the past 20 years. They say your emotional maturity stops with partying - I feel as though I just fast forwarded 23yrs from when this curse began. I can honestly say I have surrendered to god and to this disease. It is this surrender that has brought my marriage back from the brink of disaster to a place where I can begin to rebuild. My wife has been inspired to get clean and sober starting today. I realize for the first time I am not god and my purpose is far greater than JD. I realize many of you will read this post and laugh - I know this for a fact, I was you 30 days ago. And I was one of the worst. A self righteous type A, @sshole that felt it necessary to flaunt my wealth, celeb parties, fast cars and women on a Board where people have lost everything. Ironically it was in Singapore at F1 in the Ferrari Club that the bratty child I was died and the man I am becoming was born. I realized how misguided I was through the reflection of the sycophants and zombies I surrounded myself with. Today I gave away the gifts bestowed upon me at this event, as I have no use for these items. For those questioning the arduous road ahead, I achieved my month through a combination of AA (I am working steps 4 and 5 with my sponsor now), a strong support network that includes my sponsor, sponsors sponsor, a mentor, my family but most of all, one of my closest friends I only met 25 days ago here on SR. A woman beautiful on the inside and out. My message to those of you starting this journey, life exists beyond the drink. Through sobriety salvation exists with honesty, self discovery, and surrender. These drugs had a spell on me and the way I feel now tops any high I had tried to achieve previously. JD

Originally Posted by jdooner

I skied for Snowbird and was on the US Ski Team but I chose to drink and party vs represent the Country in the 94' Games. So I carry this regret but am working on letting go of this baggage.

Originally Posted by jdooner

Oldselfagain - I have plenty of stories many you would not believe. That person has died though and I have been reborn.