Stash

Hello everyone, I've been thinking all week about posting something here. I wanted it to be meaningful, I wanted people to relate then I just thought none of that really matters. So here goes.... I quit drinking in November of 2012 ten months later I'm still sober. It's a humbling experience to go threw.I was reading some of my older posts and some of my journal entries and my oh my was i ever a sensitive sally in my earlier months lol. I thought people were out to get me, and that everyone hated me. I know now that wasn't true and I was just extra sensitive at that time in my life. Lol I find it funny now, but back then I was always crying and feeling alone (isolation) . I was hanging out at parties at the beginning of summer then I realized ill never change if I don't change my surroundings. I miss all my friends but I've made new friends to hang out with.

I miss hanging out with my family tho... We used to drink and play games now when I go to visit them I end up doing the cleaning and cooking, the only time I get them to sit and talk is at supper. I guess that's something I need to talk to them about, I love the support they give me but I want the fun back. I don't think they know how to have fun with out drinks or drugs. I don't blame them tho I'm still learning myself how fun sobriety can be.

I went on this retreat and I heard stories of different experiences my family went threw as children. It made me so sad and for once I wasn't thinking about myself. My sorrow was for someone else, I haven't thought like that in so long. Since I quit drinking ive had this knot in my stomach , no matter what emotion I was feeling I always had that frigging knot. After the first day of that retreat, listening to the stories my grandmother and uncle told about their childhood that knot was gone. I felt no anger my body was relaxed and numb all my pain was gone and my mind was focused on them. It humbled me. My problems aren't as bad and if they could make it through everything I know I could do the same. Maybe some day my family will learn from me.

After being sober for ten months I'm learning so much about myself.I'm learning patience, love, understanding and my selfishness levels have gone down lol. It feels so good. I'll keep praying for everyone here I know my sobriety wouldn't have made it past the first five months if I didn't find this forum. There are good people here.

hayley86

Hi Stash, congrats on your sober time. Thanks for sharing. Glad you are here.

pinkdog

Hi Stash, congratulations on 10 months.

Regretter

Welcome to SR, Stash.

Well, it would to me.

I can relate to that and it's been my experience, too.

Well done for tackling your problems, I know it ain't exactly easy.

GracieLou

But it does matter. All we can share is our experiences and our support. They are important.

I know there are times that I mull over and over what I want to say so it sounds good and it makes sense but most of the time just saying what is on my mind and what I have been through is all that is needed. There is someone that can relate. If it helps one person, then I am part of the solution.

Congrats on your ten months!

not2late

Thanks for this post Stash. I've just finished 30 days and posts like this keep me strong. It is amazing how..once we stop concentrating on the drink how we get compassion and passion back for other people and other things. Keep on keeping on.

soberclover

Yay Stash my same Sobertime Buddy!!! Glad you posted and super glad you are doing well!!!!

Stash

Lol soberclover i never had a sober time buddy before !