AA ? To go or not to go THAT is the question :-/
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I ordered the big book online and read only the second part, the personal stories. While I sipped a glass of wine. They were entertaining and interesting. It would be another couple of years before I walked into a room. !!
Just a little observation for you snoozy: the meetings are surprisingly different. An old timer once said try at least 10 different meetings before making your evaluation. There are women, men, gay, mixed, large group, small group, breakfast, lunch and midnight candle groups, and each one has it's own special characteristic.
When I was first sober and more or less completely miserable, I loved to go to a big meeting downtown in a huge room, packed with people. I didn't say a word, just listened. It was just what I needed at the time. Later smaller groups became more manageable for me. You may not like the first one you visit, but the next or third one could be the charm.
Just a little observation for you snoozy: the meetings are surprisingly different. An old timer once said try at least 10 different meetings before making your evaluation. There are women, men, gay, mixed, large group, small group, breakfast, lunch and midnight candle groups, and each one has it's own special characteristic.
When I was first sober and more or less completely miserable, I loved to go to a big meeting downtown in a huge room, packed with people. I didn't say a word, just listened. It was just what I needed at the time. Later smaller groups became more manageable for me. You may not like the first one you visit, but the next or third one could be the charm.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Great point, Littlefish.
I go to a lot of different types of meetings a week. Each one is different helps me in a different way. Every week, I go to a beginners meeting, a meeting for my profession, a men's meeting, a couple of weekend evening meetings, a step meeting, and of course my young people's home group. I identify with the young people's group the most because it was easier to talk to people my own age and make friends.
But the variety keeps me on my toes.
I go to a lot of different types of meetings a week. Each one is different helps me in a different way. Every week, I go to a beginners meeting, a meeting for my profession, a men's meeting, a couple of weekend evening meetings, a step meeting, and of course my young people's home group. I identify with the young people's group the most because it was easier to talk to people my own age and make friends.
But the variety keeps me on my toes.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by digdug 
Because this is an AA post, I want to preface that these are only personal experiences and that just because AA works for me doesn't mean it's the only way.
Before rehab, I had no real concept of AA besides what I saw on TV. I had no biases, positive or negative.
But I was so beaten down, broken, ashamed, scared, and tired by the time I was lucky enough to find a bed in rehab. I went to a 12-step based treatment facility. We had daily AA and NA meetings, along with small group counseling and lectures.
I had nothing else to do but listen intently when outside speakers would come in and share their experiences of how their life was, what happened, and how it is today. I saw the joy in their eyes. The confidence in their voices. I wanted that so badly.
I was also bored so I started reading the big book. Every page was like a mirror. Every sentence was like it was written just for me.
I am lucky that after 30 days inpatient, and thus, 30+ AA meetings, that I felt comfortable walking into the rooms once I made it back out into the real world.
But I was still scared, nervous that I wouldn't be accepted. I was a shy little boy. I arrived at meetings with a minute to spare and was out the door the moment we finished the serenity prayer. I never spoke. Never introduced myself. I sat off to the side.
But I had lived my life in isolation. I drank until I had no friends. My girlfriend had broken up with me right before rehab. I was all alone.
So maybe my 2nd or 3rd meeting, a guy came up and spoke to me. Just asked if I was new, how I was doing, etc. Small talk. But his kindness gave me the courage to raise my hand during the meeting and say I was new and needed help. Before I could blink, a beginner's packet was being passed around and signed by all the men in the room. I was encouraged to call anyone if I had any issues.
I didn't want to relapse. I didn't want to die. So I just kept showing up. When It was suggested I get a sponsor, I followed the suggestion. When it was suggested I take a service commitment, I obliged. When I was invited out to coffee or breakfast, I tagged along.
I started hanging out more after the meetings and getting to know people. I started going to different meetings and found a few that I really related to with my people age and issues. But the biggest thing? I started making friends. And I followed up by calling and texting these guys.
Everything else has taken care of itself. My sponsor has helped me begin working the steps. I have better friends now than I've ever had in my life. People I can really open up to and be myself around. And I'm the shy, introvert who prefers the comfort of a dark and deserted room!
I do not fight the program. I take what I need. I'm not a religious person, so my higher power isn't a god in the traditional sense. It is personal to me and it works for me. No one has ever told me what to believe in. It was suggested that I pray so I started praying. I didn't even know exactly what to at first. Just asking something out there to help me stay sober and thanking whatever is out there for helping me through the day.
AA is not rocket science. We make it far more complicated as it is. All I've done is follow the suggestions of those with more time than me, especially my sponsor.
I share my triumphs and fears in meetings now. I am more respectful of others. I accept that I cannot control every situation or person in my life. I show love to those that love me like my family.
I am beginning to feel like a new person and I am only on step 5. I don't worry about what I have to do down the road with amends. I know the steps are in order for a reason so when I reach that point, I will be ready.
This has all happened in six months. I am happy. I don't think I've ever been happy before.
Maybe I just go lucky. Maybe I just went into it willingly and with an open mind. I don't know why AA works for me. I don't really care. But I have my life back. My family notices a huge difference in my behavior. To me, AA is not about just quitting the drink. It's about quitting the person I used to be and becoming a new and improved person.
It saved my life.
I wish I could say that it works this way for everyone, but I know it doesn't.
But I guess the only way to find out if it works for you is to give it another go. But this time, with an open mind and a willingness to take suggestions without fighting every little detail along the way.
And I think people who are able to stay sober with other methods besides AA are just as courageous and successful. To me, it's not about the journey, it's the result. If we all come out sober, successful people, who cares if it's AA, this site, or another program.
But if what you're doing now isn't working, try something different.
Before rehab, I had no real concept of AA besides what I saw on TV. I had no biases, positive or negative.
But I was so beaten down, broken, ashamed, scared, and tired by the time I was lucky enough to find a bed in rehab. I went to a 12-step based treatment facility. We had daily AA and NA meetings, along with small group counseling and lectures.
I had nothing else to do but listen intently when outside speakers would come in and share their experiences of how their life was, what happened, and how it is today. I saw the joy in their eyes. The confidence in their voices. I wanted that so badly.
I was also bored so I started reading the big book. Every page was like a mirror. Every sentence was like it was written just for me.
I am lucky that after 30 days inpatient, and thus, 30+ AA meetings, that I felt comfortable walking into the rooms once I made it back out into the real world.
But I was still scared, nervous that I wouldn't be accepted. I was a shy little boy. I arrived at meetings with a minute to spare and was out the door the moment we finished the serenity prayer. I never spoke. Never introduced myself. I sat off to the side.
But I had lived my life in isolation. I drank until I had no friends. My girlfriend had broken up with me right before rehab. I was all alone.
So maybe my 2nd or 3rd meeting, a guy came up and spoke to me. Just asked if I was new, how I was doing, etc. Small talk. But his kindness gave me the courage to raise my hand during the meeting and say I was new and needed help. Before I could blink, a beginner's packet was being passed around and signed by all the men in the room. I was encouraged to call anyone if I had any issues.
I didn't want to relapse. I didn't want to die. So I just kept showing up. When It was suggested I get a sponsor, I followed the suggestion. When it was suggested I take a service commitment, I obliged. When I was invited out to coffee or breakfast, I tagged along.
I started hanging out more after the meetings and getting to know people. I started going to different meetings and found a few that I really related to with my people age and issues. But the biggest thing? I started making friends. And I followed up by calling and texting these guys.
Everything else has taken care of itself. My sponsor has helped me begin working the steps. I have better friends now than I've ever had in my life. People I can really open up to and be myself around. And I'm the shy, introvert who prefers the comfort of a dark and deserted room!
I do not fight the program. I take what I need. I'm not a religious person, so my higher power isn't a god in the traditional sense. It is personal to me and it works for me. No one has ever told me what to believe in. It was suggested that I pray so I started praying. I didn't even know exactly what to at first. Just asking something out there to help me stay sober and thanking whatever is out there for helping me through the day.
AA is not rocket science. We make it far more complicated as it is. All I've done is follow the suggestions of those with more time than me, especially my sponsor.
I share my triumphs and fears in meetings now. I am more respectful of others. I accept that I cannot control every situation or person in my life. I show love to those that love me like my family.
I am beginning to feel like a new person and I am only on step 5. I don't worry about what I have to do down the road with amends. I know the steps are in order for a reason so when I reach that point, I will be ready.
This has all happened in six months. I am happy. I don't think I've ever been happy before.
Maybe I just go lucky. Maybe I just went into it willingly and with an open mind. I don't know why AA works for me. I don't really care. But I have my life back. My family notices a huge difference in my behavior. To me, AA is not about just quitting the drink. It's about quitting the person I used to be and becoming a new and improved person.
It saved my life.
I wish I could say that it works this way for everyone, but I know it doesn't.
But I guess the only way to find out if it works for you is to give it another go. But this time, with an open mind and a willingness to take suggestions without fighting every little detail along the way.
And I think people who are able to stay sober with other methods besides AA are just as courageous and successful. To me, it's not about the journey, it's the result. If we all come out sober, successful people, who cares if it's AA, this site, or another program.
But if what you're doing now isn't working, try something different.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Knowledge is power and power is what gives us strength. Not every program is going to give me 100% of what I need. Nor am I going to agree with everything in it. But it shouldn't stop me from going to them.
I take what I need from the programs I go to and leave the rest.
I take what I need from the programs I go to and leave the rest.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
SnoozyQ - I still go to AA meetings. I got sober in '84. I have 10,552 days of sobriety today. There are things about AA that drive me nuts.
I didn't go to meetings for ten years, but I'm back at them now. I broke some really important things on that dry drunk.
For me, the benefits far outweigh the downsides.
I was once told "You can't save your ass and your face at the same time. Pick one."
Yep...
I promise you that you won't like all of it. Then again, I bet you don't like everything about your favorite ball team either... or your car, job, etc. and so forth.
"Take away the drinking -- and the alcoholic is like a mental patient without medication."
That's me. A.A. doesn't keep me clean and sober - never has - it shows me what I can do to stay clean and sober by people that are staying clean and sober themselves. Sometimes it shows me what not to do in terms of relapsing - again by people that are relapsing. So you see, there is a place to go where I can learn how to make changes in my life.
I don't think the question is "AA to go or not to go."
I think the question is "What do you want the rest of your life to be like and how to do plan on making it so?"
I didn't go to meetings for ten years, but I'm back at them now. I broke some really important things on that dry drunk.
For me, the benefits far outweigh the downsides.
I was once told "You can't save your ass and your face at the same time. Pick one."
Yep...
I promise you that you won't like all of it. Then again, I bet you don't like everything about your favorite ball team either... or your car, job, etc. and so forth.
"Take away the drinking -- and the alcoholic is like a mental patient without medication."
That's me. A.A. doesn't keep me clean and sober - never has - it shows me what I can do to stay clean and sober by people that are staying clean and sober themselves. Sometimes it shows me what not to do in terms of relapsing - again by people that are relapsing. So you see, there is a place to go where I can learn how to make changes in my life.
I don't think the question is "AA to go or not to go."
I think the question is "What do you want the rest of your life to be like and how to do plan on making it so?"
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