AA ? To go or not to go THAT is the question :-/
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 54
Yeah, I'm still a long way away from step nine. The steps are in order for a reason, and I am definitely getting a lot out of the program without even considering the "apologies" I need to make just now. Also, they're not a requirement, just a suggestion. I'd definitely keep going, if I were you. Good luck. Brian
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I didn't love meetings, but I went. I went to the same one daily and other ones (different times and locations) a few days or nights a week. There were some I liked better than others and some days better than others.
I didn't have to love them, or like them much. It's like school or work or a medical treatment, may not love it, but need it or love what it does for me, the goal it helps me reached. Working the steps changed the way I approach life.
I currently live in a meetingless area but I have an online community and keep up my program.
A thought on amends and humiliation. Like everyone said, no need to get ahead of yourself. Also, it's really the opposite of humiliation. Shame, guilt, fear and hiding are humiliation. Stepping up, doing right, setting things right and living without shame and guilt is honest and appropriate pride and self respect...as well as respect for others. Amends are not groveling, not begging for forgiveness. More will be revealed, but I wanted to put this out there anyway.
I didn't have to love them, or like them much. It's like school or work or a medical treatment, may not love it, but need it or love what it does for me, the goal it helps me reached. Working the steps changed the way I approach life.
I currently live in a meetingless area but I have an online community and keep up my program.
A thought on amends and humiliation. Like everyone said, no need to get ahead of yourself. Also, it's really the opposite of humiliation. Shame, guilt, fear and hiding are humiliation. Stepping up, doing right, setting things right and living without shame and guilt is honest and appropriate pride and self respect...as well as respect for others. Amends are not groveling, not begging for forgiveness. More will be revealed, but I wanted to put this out there anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 227
I don't plan on attending. I feel like my Problem has never been bad enough to feel the need to have real life support from a room full of strangers. I honestly can't relate to half of the experiences on here, and I don't ever want to. Figure ill quit while I'm still young and haven't nearly killed myself. I think SR will be enough for me. My main goal is to he healthy and always has been. Without alcohol I'm sure I'm a million times healthier!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by GracieLou 
I am grateful for all that AA has brought me but I never thought in a million years that the people would be a big key for me.
I went from someone that did not want to be around anyone. I wanted to be left alone to drink the way I wanted to. I did not want to be bothered. Conversation with others was so taxing. It took me away from wanting to be alone.
I went from someone that did not want to be around anyone. I wanted to be left alone to drink the way I wanted to. I did not want to be bothered. Conversation with others was so taxing. It took me away from wanting to be alone.
One of the guys in my group said yesterday (paraphrasing; he said it better) - if a personality trait or worldview isn't working for you decide what is the polar opposite of that is and throw yourself into it. Like I said, he put it more eloquently, but you get the idea.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ
Hi everyone .
I would just like a bit of input as to how any of you have found AA meetings.
I have been less than half a dozen times about 10 years ago.
I didn't feel comfortable with the apologising to people step as i would have found this too humiliating, as i had humiliated myself enough already.
Im not anti prayer or anything like that, i don't know what i believe , to be honest.
The same people seemed to take the floor and the same again just sat quietly , never interjecting.
Maybe now i may have more courage to speak as i am older. But then again , maybe not.
I just feel as though i need a little something more at this stage of my recovery ( almost 3 months ) but I'm just not quite sure what that " something " is .
Xxx :horse
I would just like a bit of input as to how any of you have found AA meetings.
I have been less than half a dozen times about 10 years ago.
I didn't feel comfortable with the apologising to people step as i would have found this too humiliating, as i had humiliated myself enough already.
Im not anti prayer or anything like that, i don't know what i believe , to be honest.
The same people seemed to take the floor and the same again just sat quietly , never interjecting.
Maybe now i may have more courage to speak as i am older. But then again , maybe not.
I just feel as though i need a little something more at this stage of my recovery ( almost 3 months ) but I'm just not quite sure what that " something " is .
Xxx :horse
however, IMO there is a misconception about the steps, but that's ok. there isn't an apologizing to people step in the steps. there is one,however, that is about making amends- cleaning up our side of the street. but remember it is only suggested.
but that's putting the cart before the horse.
its ok to not know what ya believe. sayin(er...typing) that yer not against prayer tells me you believe insomething out there that can help you. that's all that's required for a start.
besides yer life, what do ya have to lose?
any chance you've read the big book of AA?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by SkyeSea
Please can I ask what an 'IOP' is? I've tried googling it and it gave me the Institute Of Physics 
I guess we call it something else over here.
I guess we call it something else over here.Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ
I didn't feel comfortable with the apologising to people step as i would have found this too humiliating, as i had humiliated myself enough already.
The goal of recovery is to realize that both happiness and misery are an inside job. You can be happy when everything is going wrong in your life or you can be miserable even when everything is going right in your life. Humility turns humiliation into a opportunity.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Attending More Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Benefits Sobriety
A new study explores why Alcoholics Anonymous can help so many people get and stay clean and sober. The study, which appears in the journal Addiction, pulled data from 1,706 people from Project MATCH, a federally funded trial that compared three alcohol treatment programs.
Jeannine Stein of LATimes.com writes that the study participants were randomly assigned to cognitive behavior therapy, motivational enhancement therapy, or a 12-step program (all participants could also take part in AA meetings during the study period).
The participants were followed for 15 months and were asked about how much alcohol they consumed, the number of AA meetings they went to, and about their depression symptoms.
Researchers found that those who attended more AA meetings drank less, and less frequently. At the beginning of the study the participants had more depression symptoms than the general public, but those who attended more AA meetings had substantially fewer symptoms–if they weren’t drinking. Those who continued to drink did not show the same lessening of symptoms.
In the study, the authors wrote, "AA attendance appears to help individuals to increase abstinence and to reduce the intensity of drinking when lapses do occur, partially by reducing symptoms of negative affect."
In a news release, lead author John F. Kelly, an associate professor in the Harvard Medical School department of psychiatry, said, "Some critics of AA have claimed that the organization’s emphasis on ‘powerlessness’ against alcohol use and the need to work on ‘character defects’ cultivates a pessimistic world view, but this suggests the opposite is true. AA is a complex social organization with many mechanisms of action that probably differ for different people and change over time. Most treatment programs refer patients to AA or similar 12-step groups, and now clinicians can tell patients that, along with supporting abstinence, attending meetings can help improve their mood. Who wouldn’t want that?"
A new study explores why Alcoholics Anonymous can help so many people get and stay clean and sober. The study, which appears in the journal Addiction, pulled data from 1,706 people from Project MATCH, a federally funded trial that compared three alcohol treatment programs.
Jeannine Stein of LATimes.com writes that the study participants were randomly assigned to cognitive behavior therapy, motivational enhancement therapy, or a 12-step program (all participants could also take part in AA meetings during the study period).
The participants were followed for 15 months and were asked about how much alcohol they consumed, the number of AA meetings they went to, and about their depression symptoms.
Researchers found that those who attended more AA meetings drank less, and less frequently. At the beginning of the study the participants had more depression symptoms than the general public, but those who attended more AA meetings had substantially fewer symptoms–if they weren’t drinking. Those who continued to drink did not show the same lessening of symptoms.
In the study, the authors wrote, "AA attendance appears to help individuals to increase abstinence and to reduce the intensity of drinking when lapses do occur, partially by reducing symptoms of negative affect."
In a news release, lead author John F. Kelly, an associate professor in the Harvard Medical School department of psychiatry, said, "Some critics of AA have claimed that the organization’s emphasis on ‘powerlessness’ against alcohol use and the need to work on ‘character defects’ cultivates a pessimistic world view, but this suggests the opposite is true. AA is a complex social organization with many mechanisms of action that probably differ for different people and change over time. Most treatment programs refer patients to AA or similar 12-step groups, and now clinicians can tell patients that, along with supporting abstinence, attending meetings can help improve their mood. Who wouldn’t want that?"
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by AlefVavResh
Nice! That's me to a 't'. My husband is wondering what the hell happened that I actually want to be around people and look forward to going! He is also going on about how in the last 30 days, I've gone from being a zombie to a person full of light and sparkle. . . I feel as if I've got my life back.
I think that is one thing many people misconstrued about recovery, AA or otherwise. They either want their old life back or they can't imagine being able to function in the old life.
What I did not know is that I don't go back. I don't try and be the old me with the old life. I get to be a new me with a new way of living and a new outlook.
I still carry my character. The defects, I have to identify those and work on them. We have positives ones too. Many of the positives ones I forgot I had as I lost them so long ago but some I have found again.
Originally Posted by AlefVavResh
One of the guys in my group said yesterday (paraphrasing; he said it better) - if a personality trait or worldview isn't working for you decide what is the polar opposite of that is and throw yourself into it. Like I said, he put it more eloquently, but you get the idea.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Snoozy,
Even though it is called the Big Book, the main text of the book is only 164 pages. The rest are people's stories.
You can read the BB online by going to this link: Big Book On Line - Table of Contents
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
And I agree with Dee, it's a pretty easy read, at least for us alcoholics.
Even though it is called the Big Book, the main text of the book is only 164 pages. The rest are people's stories.
You can read the BB online by going to this link: Big Book On Line - Table of Contents
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
And I agree with Dee, it's a pretty easy read, at least for us alcoholics.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,039
Hi Snoozy,
Lots have already said it, but just to chime in w/my experience:
I have 9 months + days
I go to AA
I'm an atheist & I'm scared of most of the steps
I got a sponsor after I'd been going about 3 weeks
I found a group I like & a couple of groups I don't like so much but I go anyway
I do better when I go to meetings than when I don't
I do better when I talk to other drunks than when I don't
I'm taking the whole thing a day at a time -- sobriety & AA both -- except I have a commitment to make coffee at a meeting through December
I've found that a lot of people who go to AA even daily don't "want" to go -- they go & I go because it helps us stay sober.
PS And I can't stand the Big Book -- but I read it sometimes anyway.
Good luck to you! And don't drink today!
Lots have already said it, but just to chime in w/my experience:
I have 9 months + days
I go to AA
I'm an atheist & I'm scared of most of the steps
I got a sponsor after I'd been going about 3 weeks
I found a group I like & a couple of groups I don't like so much but I go anyway
I do better when I go to meetings than when I don't
I do better when I talk to other drunks than when I don't
I'm taking the whole thing a day at a time -- sobriety & AA both -- except I have a commitment to make coffee at a meeting through December
I've found that a lot of people who go to AA even daily don't "want" to go -- they go & I go because it helps us stay sober.
PS And I can't stand the Big Book -- but I read it sometimes anyway.
Good luck to you! And don't drink today!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ
The big book sounds ...well ....big.... Lol
I am not reading books atm due to my concentration level , but i will seriously consider it ty Tomsteve.
I am not reading books atm due to my concentration level , but i will seriously consider it ty Tomsteve.
Ok thanks guys , big book ...here i come xxMember
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Originally Posted by TeriJane
Thank you for your post, digdug. You've changed my thinking about AA. I'm going to give it another try, but with your post in mind.
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