day 11. having doubts.
 

Is this my AV finally kicking in or what?? Not really having cravings but so many people in my life don't understand why I'm giving up alcohol. I guess I haven't been as honest with my immediate family about how much I had been consuming. My mother especially is confused as to why I'm giving it up for good and not just taking a break for awhile. She asked, wait. You're giving it up for good? To me today. I then think to myself...well I usually only had like 3-4 in an evening...only drank more than that once or twice a week...that's not too bad. Then maybe start thinking that I can manage it one day. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Shes not an alcoholic and has no tendencies to become one....so I think maybe she doesn't get why someone cant manage it. I have always felt controlled by it, and I don't want to be anymore. That's why I'm giving it up. Cant a girl get some support?? Yes, my consumption isnt as bad compared to some but I don't want it to be that bad one day!! Figure Id quit while I'm still young!!

For newly sober people, other people DO care if we drink or not and how much. Often they simply don't understand about alcoholism and the misery it causes. I envy those people in a way for being so blissfully ignorant that alcoholism is real and causes great suffering.

But I understand exactly where you are coming from. There is plenty of support from alcoholics here and elsewhere (the AA fellowship can be great for that face-to-face support).

To family and close friends, I find it best to simply explain about the misery and suffering drinking caused; that it made me not care about anything in the world, and that I was sick and tired of feeling that way. And, it really is about the misery and suffering, not the quantities. Usually, if they care about you, they will at least learn to respect your choice, but it isn't always easy.

You are doing the right thing! A sober life is so much better than living an alcoholic's miserable lot.

My friends didn't get it cos they drank like I did and my family didn;t get it cos they're pretty big on denial...

None of those reactions changed the fact I had a really big life threatening problem tho, mama :)

You'll always find support here - that's the beauty of SR :)

D

My bottom was not about how much I drank or what I drank. My bottom was the absolute unrelenting disgust, misery, depression, fear and anxiety mixed up in an ugly package of self loathing. I honestly didn't think it was possible to hate someone as much as I hated myself.

I don't think this thinking you're having has anything at all to do with your mom and what she gets or doesn't get. This is about you.

No disrespect meant. I'm kind of blunt sometimes.

Drinkers want company, they know deep down it isn't good for them, even the social drinkers. Tell 'em to mind their own glass and let yours alone. :)

People will quit asking you about it. Might as well get it out of the way now rather than later. Pretty soon they will just pass you by because they already know you won't have a drink if they ask you. Nobody asks me if I want a drink anymore that knows me basically. Most of my friends drink, but 90% of them really don't care if I drink or not. I tell them I don't drink anymore, and if they say why I just say it's what works for me. That's it. It's not really their business, but I'm not afraid to tell people I don't want to drink anymore. Most people will respect it.

Hi mama, I haven't told any family or friends yet but I would probably get the same response. I agree with the others.... alcoholism is kind of hard to get if you don't live it personally. Keep up the good work, I'm right on your tail!! :)

Hi Mama,
Just me but my Mom never really wanted to see I had a problem. She thought I was pretty wonderful no matter what. Sometimes people who loves us just think we are fine just they way we are. Sometimes they are just positive people who look for the best.

I have to give them a break. That has to be hard to hear from someone you love that they don't understand. Both ways. Don't we always want to understand people we love? It would make me feel bad that just because I don't have the exact same experience as someone else I don't understand. I may not know how they feel but I understand hurt and pain and fear. That's pretty universal.

I just told my family that I didn't want to feel bad anymore. I wanted to be and do more. I need to quit drinking to do that. Along with working on a few other things. Will you support me and help me be better?

I had plenty of people to talk about alcohol with. Unfortunately.

I didn't want to shut out the people who loved me so I just talked about the stuff every human understands with them.

Then there are the crabby no it alls in everyone's family. That's a whole different story.

Good for you on giving it up and working on a better life!