ReadyAtLast

for me. my sobriety date is the first day of no drinking for a continuous period

I got to a few weeks before and then drank again. It's frustrating to go back to day 1 but the only honest thing for me. I still learnt lessons from the short sober periods I had before this time but sobriety is the period of no drinking.It's too easy to make excuses and drink if I was just adding periods of time together mixed with drinking periods.

I was obsessed with counting days in the early stages butthat became less important as sobriety felt more normal

Recovery only started for me once I finally stopped drinking and is a gradual,ongoing process

It does sound as though you're overthinking things, All thatmatters is you don'tdrink

Nuudawn

OMG Renard, I just realized your avatar is NOT a dog wearing an orange costume.

afloatsober

My recovery date was the date i had my last drink and decided that i would do anything to stay sober come what may.
I'd had enough.
But 24 hours will do for me today, and every day......
IMO its not the days but the depth of the decision that matters.
Be safe.
G

SixStringZen

I think whatever works for you, works for you...but, I'm also of the belief that stopping drinking isn't the end result of recovery...I think it's the beginning...the first thing that MUST be done...I don't think you even begin to recover before that...but, that's me...

ReadyAtLast

This I totally agree with. Whilst there is awareness or realization of a problem which prompts recovery I don't believe recovery starts till we stop drinking We are all aware we have a problem before we stop drinking otherwise we wouldn't stop would we. Many people have theawareness but do nothing and never recover. IMO,the first step in recovery is to put down the drink.

GracieLou

I tried to quit drinking in 2004. I lasted five months and then relapsed for nine years. I was resentful of those five months. They were the reason I did not go back and try again. I did not want to look at them. I had failed and it was not recovery I was afraid of, it was failing again, so I did nothing.

I have heard many say that those five months were important and I should not ignore them but not so I can tack them on to my recovery.

They are important because I can see where I was and then let go of them. I had to let go of that resentment towards myself. Saying I was sober for five months did not cause me to move forward. It caused me to stay where I was. That resentment was like all the other resentments I had. I held on to them so I could cuddle with the anger. Point at them when I had done wrong so I could explain my actions or whip it out as an excuse.

I could also use it to throw at people if they mentioned my lack of action. "Oh yeah, well I went to AA and I was sober five months and I still drink so that does not work so leave me alone." I held on to that five months like a child holds a teddy bear. It was mine and you can't take it away and they were right. I had to give it away, I had to let go.

My date is 03/24/2013. That is the date I took my last drink. That is my sobriety date.

doggonecarl

I hope you made it through your mental struggle.

Getting it right is being sober today. Then tomorrow, you repeat the process.

Olive1

'What Does the Fox Say?'
(Ylvis)

Nuudawn, have you seen this?

JaylaaKent

If you hang around people who are in recovery - the date is of your LAST drink - it doesn't matter if you went 30 years without drinking and then slip up or 30 minutes. I think NOT to do it that way is somewhat disrespectful (or at least insensitive) to the people who worked very hard since their sobriety date. Don't count days - if you have a smart phone you can get an app that actually counts sobriety. That's what I had to do. Counting the days made me very discouraged because I want to be in one place, but I'm really in another. We can't fast forward - but if you dwell on it - you will drink because it seems very overwhelming, especially when you're new to recovery from a relapse or just plain new.

If I remember reading correctly, you recently relapsed? Your brain is really going to keep messing with you. I'm on 3 weeks sober (since my last relapse) and it's a daily struggle. I've heard it's "30 days and 1,000 nights" because it's so difficult to overcome your mental cage, especially at night when you are alone. Just rest assured you are feeling the same things everyone else in our position (recovering from recent poisoning) is going through. Sometimes people who have many many years of sobriety go through periods of obsession/craving and wanting to drink, so they've told me. That's why they have AA or groups - so you can validate and accept your feelings. A therapist is good, but unless they have been an addict themselves - it's really hard for me to believe they understand what I'm dealing with. My psychiatrist relapsed in AA many times before he got sober and now has 25 years. You just need to focus on something else and DO SOMETHING ELSE!!! Stop obsessing about it if you can. Hang in there!

alphaomega

Wow. Has this been insightful.

Yes. Hanging on like a teddy bear. Excuses. Disappointment in myself. Justification.

Going forward, for me, it's better to NOT count. Maybe just for now.
It does wonky things to my perception and throws my will out the door.

Perhaps it is all about accountabity. And infantile egomaniacism. And alcohol induced arrested development.

Thank you everyone.

This stuff is gold.

JaylaaKent

I really like this! Yes anyone can STOP drinking, but if you are an alcoholic (and we all know that definition) then you WILL drink again unless you RECOVER. Drinking is a spiritual, mental, and physical disease. People, society, medical professions don't usually understand that. It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way unfortunately

Just as diabetics have a defective pancreas and do not produce enough insulin, an alcoholic body/brain is altered after a period of alcohol abuse to not process alcohol correctly. Emotional trauma, stress, or spiritual compromise only magnifies this.

Great concept Six

jat14

so this morning I knew when I made the decision to go to my old bar yesterday afternoon that I would feel like this but still did it. the guilt, the shame the not going to work.. then the praying and making promises to God for the gazillionth time. I am doing something different today..I have joined this forum. thank you whomever has taken the time to read this.

eta once my hangover is gone I will figure out this forum.. I just needed to get this out.. I just realized that this thread is about sobriety dates..

silentrun

Welcome jat14. Funny how we do that KNOWING it will end badly. Many of us for years and years. When you are feeling up to it start a thread and that way the response will be directly to you.

mecanix

For me that day was an important turning point in my life . It was a day when never drinking alcohol again seemed unimagineable when i woke up and by the evening, when i went to bed it had changed to ever drinking alcohol again seemed like a nightmare ..

If it is causing you resentments, anxiety or stuff of that ilk then deal with it or drop it , seems to me if you are free and content you have no need of alcohol or day counts

I do think it sometimes adds some creedence to what people post , but only in as much as they have found something that works for them for a given amount of time .
For myself i'm more interested in what those who seem sober, content and happy have to say about their experience .

Bestwishes, m

ddrayer

personally I have three dates i keep in mind. The first one being just the year 2011 when I recognized that I had a problem, second being Jan 1 of this year when I would say I started my real effort to get sober, and finally my actual sobriety date. I dont pay attention to them for any reason other than it helps me keep my life/timeline in order. My real focus is making it through today!

Nuudawn

If I may SixString...and I say this only to explain my own feeling on Recovery. Although I would say physical recovery from alcohol abuse would begin when you put down the drink. Agreed. I personally required recovery for more than just alcohol so I cannot limit my experience. I have been at war with myself for well...ever. For me....and only me personally...a spiritual awakening occurred prior to me putting down the drink. And oh I know that may fly in the face of some people but I do believe Bill W. credits a spiritual awakening in helping him put down the drink..finally. I have been working at my brokenness a long time.

When I put down the drink I felt armed, supported and blessed with something I did not possess before. My spiritual recovery started before I put down the drink. It helped me put it down.

I can only speak to my own experience and cannot judge that for others.

alphaomega

I get you Nuu about therapy and HAVING to remain sober.

It's almost like a the work I have done (while pouring over self help books, etc. wine in hand) is wasted time and money. Like nothing will REALLY get really healed until I knock it off and fly straight.

I have spent so much of my life searching. Searching, digging, fighting, aching.

But it was done under the guise and numbness of wine.

I just wanna hurry up and be healed now.

jaynie04

AO...I feel ya. I had a biofeedback session to learn how to use my breathing to relax. It involved using guided imagery. The entire time I was lying there I was stressed about being a super achiever and learning how to relax really fast.....

alphaomega

^^^ lol !!!!

That was me yesterday. !!!!

Blaaaahahahaha !

You need to be a comedy writer

Meeeeeee MAWWWWWWWW

silentrun

It's amazing how much of what you think is going wrong with you is just a normal reaction to dumping a depressant into your system. Until that clears out you don't even know what is the real issue.
I wouldn't be surprised if Alfred Hitchcock made a movie were a completely sane woman was kept in an mental institution because her evil husband was slipping her psychotropic drugs. With the doctor as a coconspirator of course. It just takes time to clear your system. That's what I mean by beg, borrow or steal those first months.
This thing has been grooming you for along time. Accept more and more pain and not reject it. It has attached itself to you and you need some sober time to get some healing to get some perspective.
PS now changing the term recovery date to escape date.