Bebetter

I don't see how counting days could let anyone off the hook. Yes, you can always relapse, slip, whatever, but then you start at day 1 again. And who likes to start at day 1? It's not like you actually have lost the days you were sober, so it's not a complete reset unless you say goodbye to sobriety for an extended period. I don't count days because it feels like drudgery - like life is not whole, but is rather a series of portioned out time, and I don't live like that. However, I know I'm around 80-90 days right now just because I'm a smart person who can read a calendar and I will never forget the last night I got stupid trashed, and when the rubber hits the road, and I'm craving alcohol like it's manna from heaven, I do remind myself of these nearly 3 months of repeatedly saying yes to sobriety, and I do like success, and success in sobriety is measurable, and one way to measure it is time, so reminding myself of that accumulated time helps me to stay away from the first drink.

Beanie25

You know what Nudawn I respect your posts..I like your cut thro the ******** attitude. Lynch me now people. This site has been a massive eye opener. Saying that I just wonder if the cliche, nicey nicey 'it is fine' approach doesn't just feed the alcoholics excuse of 'lookey here, if I **** up tonight, there is always tomorrow. Because we will latch on to any security blanket that fits.

dwtbd

I should apologize for inferring, forums/internet 'talking' lack aspects of human communication, the visual and speech recognition clues, and I mistakenly replace them in my head.
I was responding to what seemed like derogatory implications to peoples' weaknesses or perceived weaknesses with alcohol consumption.
and I was being snarky, so if it was unwarranted I apologise.

I am not a day counter per se, but I do think inside of a say a week roughly, that peoples' thinking can be scrambled or overly influenced by residual alcohol.
If someone reported they resumed drinking after only 1 or a few days sober, I would consider that relevant.

360shoes

What I choose to do today has a part in creating my tomorrow. If I have the fortune to have a tomorrow. As most things in life there is an interconnection. Every decision I make at any moment will start my wheels of motion in some direction.

A life is made up of moments like a frame in a movie reel. They are connected yet separate.

I don't know. I can think about tomorrow. Plan for tomorrow. I can do somethings about tomorrow. I just can't live in tomorrow. But I can certainly do things today that day give me a base for being the best me tomorrow if I get one.

Deep stuff. Thanks for the post so I could think about it.

afloatsober

I think i understand.
Can only talk of my experience.
For years i wanted to be gently 'cuddled' sober.
Told that i could just keep trying.....
One day a man sober 37 years told me that he could see me dying from this illness and that i better start getting real, take responsibility, and get out of my comfort zone.
You may have to step over the dead bodies and STILL move forward he said.
Scary but At last i got the message that tea and sympathy enabled me to excuse another relapse.
Its horses for courses but it did me good to be told straight.
You still got to want it tho. I mean really want it.....
G

deeker

Um if they are not ready they are not ready, what business is that of mine. They can latch onto all the security blankets they want. Not anyone's business what others do. I don't think u r even reading my relpys r u?

Beanie25

All I'm saying all the time we spend on here ..I have learned so much by the way. Are we just not giving ourselves the security and comfort to say ' look at all these people who understand if I get pissed, cos the next day X amount of people will go 'no problem mate or whoever just try again' like a 'co-dependant thing in a weird sort of way.

lessgravity

I find myself adhering to the counting of days because of not wanting to lose them. Being back at Day 1 is a brutal place to be.

Bird615

Counting days seemed to help me. There were moments during my first sobriety when the idea of "throwing away" all those days I had worked so hard to accumulate to that point and having to start over was the only thing that kept me from picking up a drink.

It bought me time until I could get my head back on straight and start working my program again or otherwise doing the things I needed to do to keep sober.

Now that I'm back to less than a month since I stopped, it feels kinda weird. Like I'm new, but I still have all that experience from before, so I'm not really "new". If that makes any sense.

Either way, I'll keep counting days because it works for me.

Beanie25

Deeker yes I'm reading, not sure you are reading me tho yeah?

james872

For some people it might be, for others it might not be.

It's a good idea to look at one's underlying motives. People are great at lying to themselves. So good even, that they will make up a rationalization that they know it isn't true and accept it as a valid reason, ignoring the real truth.

So behind what you ask about lies an interesting process. Some people are honest and counting days isn't a problem. Others are lying to themselves and really need to face the truth. Otherwise you can't grow.

Cool question, thanks.

J.

deeker

Yes I am, I completely understand. But if you or anyone wants to be accountable to someone you need to decide who that is going to be. This is a site of continued support and we all know how hard it is to get sober the first time.

But yes I understand and I agree. I know people who hide out in here cuz it is safe. But it just isn't my business. I know I am done that's all that matters.

Dee74

Count days or don't count days - it's up to you...just doing that won't keep you sober.

I daresay it's not the cause of getting drunk either - deciding to drink gets us drunk - the reasons or excuses we attach to that decision are many and varied....

Counting was useful for me because I was so demoralised and so down on myself that I needed to keep track of what was for me the monumental achievement of staying sober.

I don't really see the point in critiquing other peoples use of the practice.

Run your own race - do what what works for you and leave other people to do what works for them.

D

ctrl

I count because it shows me how working day to day can build up to something bigger.

That being said, I'm as sober now as I'll be when I'm 30 years in.

flujays

NuDawn thank you so much for your wonderful post. It spoke to me on a different level. I'm kinda in between a counter and a non counter... not really sure which route to take. I wanna count days in order to track my progress, but, I'm also fully aware that the beast comes out of the closet like clockwork on day 5 so day 5 is a trigger in itself. But if i don't count I won't know its day 5 and may therefore avoid the trigger, but I won't be able to track my progress either... see the predicament? Love the idea of staying in the present though, I think you're on to something there!

Beanie25

Well freedom of speech, I would of thought. Hope others won't be put off from putting their own point if view just because it does not fit in with the alcoholic norm/ SR cliche Speak..love the individual..no boxes Dee.

ScottFromWI

The newcomers forum is moderated for a reason. Not that those reasons are intended to somehow discourage free exchange of ideas but to protect and better serve those new to recovery. You agreed to those terms when you signed up and they are pretty clearly posted.

Nuudawn

I may not count days flujays...but I am aware of the months..as in on October 3rd..I'll have 4 months. My sobriety date is uber important to me.
I try to look at it as the first day of the rest of my life : )

And I plan on celebrating my 1st year of sobriety in style next June. Perhaps I'll jump out of a plane or something. Not sure yet : )

Other than that...right now is all I got.

Dee74

I'm pretty much on my last nerve with all the arguing lately.

Had I seen this crap when I came here desperate for help to stay sober I might not have stayed, lifeunlocked.

These forums are moderated. Everybody reads that and agrees to that when they sign up.

It's not a power trip and it's not censorship or 'SR cliches' - it's about letting over 100 thousand members have a voice in a peaceful welcoming and useful community.

Here's some of our guidelines and rules:

Tolerance: Please respect the rights of others to hold beliefs and perspectives, which differ from yours. Our Sober Recovery Forum members are of many nationalities, ages, and cultures. Healthy, vigorous debate will further our goals, but only when guided by the tolerance that springs from mutual embrace of mission.

A full list of rules and policies is here. It's what we mods work off of. It's all very transparent.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html

I've already removed some posts that broke these rules.

I'll have no hesitation in closing the thread if I think it's taking up too much of my time to monitor, or that it's outlived it's usefulness.

D

soberhawk

I do in not count days.

I do sign into the the 24 hours thread every morning, check what deekers has found for us.

It is very small thing to do, but it does remind me everyday what I am doing.

It is not important to me for how long I have done it – it is important that I remind my self every morning. It helps if I am having a bad day and I am out shopping just to remember that those cages of beer can stay where they are.

I want to do this every day – someday I hope it has summed up to so many days and I find me self on the other side and alcohol is way out of my horizon – and if that does not happen I will just keep on reminding me of what I am doing every morning for a very long time – hopefully.