NewRebirth

It is day 2 of being sober. The past week has been completely horrible and the worst part is that I am 100% responsible, and I've destroyed very important things in my life.

I lost my job, I was violent towards my roommate, and my partner of 2.5 years has broken up with me. The worst part is that I was so black out drunk that I don't remember the horrible things I have said or done. Those actions and words could have never come from me if I was sober.

I know my first goal should be to recover, and in a way it is. But what is clouding my mind is the fact that I have destroyed my relationship. We have been through countless hardships, from being homeless to eating from food pantries to sleeping on peoples' couches until this year, when we finally got things on track. We got an apartment of our own, a car, and jobs.

But I ruined everything with my compulsive drinking, all the hard work we put into making this thing work. At one time we were engaged because we were so in love.

I can see myself never touching a drink again. I won't. But what is driving me to tears is the thought of not being with my partner. I drank to escape my anxieties, but by doing that I just created the worst possible scenario I could have ever dreamed up.

silentrun

Welcome NewRebirth.
Sorry for the circumstances that bring you here. There are a lot of people on hear that understand how you feel.

FourSeasons

Welcome NewRebirth. You will find a lot of support here!

suki44883

Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here.

Your fight should be for your sobriety. The rest will work itself out one way or another. Your actions will determine more than apologies or promises to your partner.

NewRebirth

I really hope so. All this time I've fought for us to be safe and happy, and now I don't have what was keeping me going. It's terrifying and my heart is just broken into pieces. I never meant to hurt them, but I kept doing it after every broken promise. I'm so ashamed of what I've done and what I've ruined.

Anna

Welcome!

You can't control what other people are feeling about you and how your relationship will work. All you can do right now is to stop drinking and begin to recover. Take care of yourself and stay focused on your recovery.

least

to the family! If you stop drinking now you can guarantee that this kind of thing will never happen again. Get sober for yourself and see what happens then.

Hevyn

Welcome New! I'm so glad you reached out for some help and understanding. Believe me we've all been through similar things & we know how it is to try & pick up the pieces.

As the others have said - concentrate on yourself for now. If you continue focusing on the guilt and remorse you'll keep yourself from moving forward and healing. It's almost impossible for the 'normies' in our life to understand what we go through - but being here with us you never have to feel alone. I hope you'll continue posting & reading here. We care about you.

erfra7

hi newrebirth this site is wonderful for support. I'm going through the same my marriage broke off 8 months ago, it took me awhile but I quit drinking and using drugs, now I have 4 months sober working again , I go to AA meetings plus counselling and all of that help me to cope with my life sometime are good and sometime are bad but I'm learning that not matter what life brings I don't need to drink ( alcohol is my drug of choice. )
right now my life is one day at the time or hour or minute.
good luck. and keep coming back

Mizzuno

Welcome to SR. You are not alone in this. The decisions that are made from this day forward can be the change that is necessary for you to live a healthy productive life that is filled with love and grace. I can empathize with loss. I can empathize with your pain. Please know that you can get sober and remain sober. We are here for you.

Mountainmanbob

I went through more than a few partners due to my heavy drinking
some did come back into my life once I sobered up
no guarantees
but, sobriety is where the new life begins for us

Mountainman