mytimeforchange

Yes, I got involved with a GF. Lonely. I spent most of my time dealing with her and for got about me, meetings, program, etc.....I lost me. beware if too soon.

digdug

I think I have a crush on this girl in AA. But it will remain a friendship, nothing more until I see the improvements in myself that make me feel confident enough in my sobriety to bring someone else in my life.

I ask myself, "would I want to date me now?" After 6 months, the answer is still no.

But I'm getting there

Nuudawn

Great stuff in this thread! About 6 weeks or so into my recovery, I kind of whined to my therapist that I wanted a new relationship (partly to get rid of the toxic remnants of the last). She very pointedly stated I needed to wait a year. I thought to myself "she can stick that AA crap up her butt cuz I ain't in AA"...(cue smug pouty immature face while I'm thinking that).

I left her office annoyed. In short order, that conversation stimulated some thinking on my part and I realized..I was just looking to fill the same void I used alcohol for. I clued in to my own relationship/love addiction issues. Ya I'm cross addicted all over the place.

So ya...it's a year for this gal. I'm wearing red high heels on June 4, 2014.

tangningsheng

I think its up to your own preference. If you are not planning to drink again then you should give it a go, but relationships are a lot of work, so it might not be the best idea at this time. If you choose to do I wish you and your partner luck.

foolsgold66

That kinda wasn't fair, because now I wanna break a rule with my response.

workoholic

Thumbs up for this thread, I think it's an important issue for anyone in early recovery and reading your experiences and thoughts is very helpful.
Over the last few years several of my friends have gotten married or atleast moved into homes together with their partners,and some have children. And I have received friendly advice upon various netdating services etc, because they want to help me set up my life as well. While I was drinking I had no interest in it as it would likely interfere with my drinking. I plan to be abit careful about it and start any new acquintance as a friendship to see how things go from there. The last thing I need is hearing my "ex" John Daniels tell me: "girlfriends are overrated, lets start over"

Best of luck to those that try it, perhaps I'll join you, or perhaps I won't. I don't know as I am still having problems to decide what I want with my coffee these days.

Nuudawn

I get that.

Oldselfagain

Good approach workaholic, not worth stressing over. Oftentimes Cupid shoots his arrow when you least expect it.

nfijules

Looking back I couldnt even wipe my own self till about a year sober. I needed that time for me and so glad I did. I didnt date until about 2 years and I now sponsor a few women who took up dating within their first year. Both gave up the program and relapsed. They were still choosing very sick people as they were still not spiritually fit. We got our whole lives to date.........give yourself some love and take care of you! Only you can decide what is right.....this is just my experience. goodluck!

mytimeforchange

I dated soon after my divorce, still drinking. I was just too lonely and wanted a sense of "completeness" like nothing was wrong, my life is normal.....well there something wrong...me.....I lost her too because of booze- That GF was smart LOL!!!!!! Crazy Crazy