Bubblygirl

I came here in the last 2 weeks and I am yet to get my sh*t together and stop, for good. There's never a 'good time to quit' and everything social seems to involve drinking.
I don't want to seem like I'm ungrateful (my husband would give up drinking too for as long as it takes for me, I know) and I know that everyone isn't in that position. I feel selfish & truly awful.

I don't feel strong enough as the posts suggest from people on here, I wish I was. Sometimes I hold out as long as I can in the late afternoon but then I fail??!

My whole family have been big drinkers, till recently. Now it seems like I'm the only one left after the damage done by my parents/older sister. I don't know when I'll have the courage to say no forever?!

I'm glad I can post all this here, thanks.

IOAA2

Welcome BG. I found it easier to say NO for a day, hour, or minute much easier than forever. Lets face it, we have no idea what will happen in an hour or next week so I choose now. A big thing I needed was to get honest about MY drinking and stop wishing things were different, I needed to recognize that I could not drink in safety so could not have that first drink. BE WELL

jutam

There is never a good day to stop, addiction has its grip. I would wait for as long as I could in the afternoon... and fail, swear every morning I would not drink, and drink again. This awful cycle that just about killed me. I wanted to stop theoretically, but couldn't see how I could... get some help and support if you can. a detox, leave the city, stay with a friend... make a date....
you will only say no forever, when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are prepared to do what it takes to stop. .... sober is well worth the hard effort when you finally had enough of the pain drinking brings and you want the better life....

its a great start asking the questions, its the start of the journey.
Keep reading and posting and WELCOME to SR

ChrisBen

Welcome and don't resign yourself to this life with alcohol. You can be the person you want to be! I also come come a family of drinkers. Joining in became the only way I could cope with them. So I've had to seperate myself a bit and kind of decide who it is I want to be. So many past mornings I quit, only to crumble by the evening. Now I'm on day 13 and I truly believe it is because of what I've found here. Everyone is different and I hope you find what you need. For me I tell myself constantly that I'm NOT going to drink again, ever, and I'm NOT going to change my mind. Best wishes, you can do this!

happyhour

hi bubbly, we have all woken and proclaimed "today is the day!", only to limp home at the end of that same day, to have a drink...

the fear and finality of "never, ever, ever" is overwhelming and can paralyze, so we do nothing and stay stuck. so, begin by taking one day at a time. fear, from some of your earlier posts, seem to be the biggest hindrance to your progress.

it also seems that you need support? is AA an option for you to attend?

keep posting ...

Bebetter

I did the same thing for about 8 months. From Nov 2012 to the end of June 2013... every day, I'd wake up and say I wasn't going to drink. Even every evening at 5:00, when I poured my first drink, I'd say "tomorrow, I won't drink." Finally, I had one awful binging night and the next day was throwing-up hung over and had done lots of relationship damage the night before. I didn't drink that day, which was pretty easy, but I won't say it didn't cross my mind all day. And the next day, I didn't drink again, feeling really shameful about my drunken madness. And I think that one day was enough to catapult me to another day, and another day, and another day, and I'm about 80 something days sober now, with no plans to go back there ever again. I still think about drinking, and I'm more vigilant than I wish I had to be, and the fallout is all still there - feeling things I wish I didn't feel.... but I'm not going back. I may feel frustrated or sad or depressed more often, but I now have self-respect, and to me, that's the first stone I need in the foundation of my life.

hayley86

Hi Bubblygirl, I think we can always find an excuse or a reason to put of quitting until a later date. The way i saw it was that i was just delaying the inevitable. I knew i needed to stop drinking and dragging it out longer than necessary just made it harder for myself. I had to put my sobriety first before everything else which meant putting socializing on the back burner until i was strong enough to go to social gatherings and not drink. I got the necessary support in place and i focused on not drinking one day at a time. I believe anyone can stop it if they really want to and work at their recovery.

Clemence

Welcome Bubbly. I know how you feel, I was like that for ages before I stopped. I finally made the decision when I realized I was spending most of my day hungover and worrying about drinking and relatively only a tiny percentage of time actually enjoying it. (Not to mention the waking up anxious at night about who I might have offended)
I couldn't have done it without this forum. Only 10 days so far but reading and posting here is really keeping me focussed.

huntingtontx

I did the same thing for years. I would quit every morning in my head, and drink that night, only to tell myself I would quit tomorrow. When I did quit it was the middle of the day, I had already had a drink, and it just hit me. I don't want to be drunk forever. I had had a bad drunken night the night before, taken a fall, bruised my arm and could remember nothing. Not to good. But a great place to start my new life. I did not pour a second drink. I quit. No more. I can't do the forever thing, but I can do today, and I always remind my self, I don't have to worry about drinking. I just have to never take the first drink. No one is going to pour it down my throat. If I don't take it, I will stay sober. Good for you coming here. No one will judge you, we have all been there. This is such a supportive place. I am glad you are joining us. Sober is so good, 86 days now, and one day at a time, I can do this and so can you. Hugs.

Junegirl

Hi Bubbly,

I didn't really feel strong in my sobriety until very recently, and I quit about 3.5 months ago. Until I get some sobriety muscles, I'm avoiding a lot of social situations that involve alcohol. I 've just told people I'm on a health kick. It's been a good time to really focus on myself, sort out how I got here and where I'm going, and educate myself about this problem we have. I'm using tools from Smart Recovery, but some people choose other methods that work for them. I think for me the key has been to really focus on this sobriety as if it were a job. I can tell you that this time I've spent has paid off not just with sobriety, but also revealing a better version of me that was hiding behind the alcohol.

I hope you stick around, and I wish you the best,

June