Mountainmanbob

many of us recovering drunks do
as most all will tell you it get's better with time

a decision needs to be made one way or the other

are you ready to give sobriety another shot ?



best wishes
from
Mountainman

wakko

I had to accept myself for Who I was and stop worrying about what other people thought of me. when I was drinking my whole perception of self was tied up in other people. Today I only have to answer to one person and that one person is me.

If I am okay with me great. If not I work on a problem to the best of my abilities on a daily basis.

Trying to be something I not was at the core of my alcoholism

Kingtarquin

That voice is one hell of a salesman. It makes me rationalize why I think it's ok to drink. How convenient.

Mountainmanbob

It helps once we realize
that the one that has deceived me the most
is the one looking back at me in the mirror

mountain man Bob

jesternudder

I'm a shy person too - except for when I was drunk and sometimes embarrassingly outspoken. Since stopping drinking (woohoo 9 days today) I have had a couple friends ask "Are you OK? You sure are quiet." Yes I'm fine - that's just the real me, but they were accustomed to seeing me in full on drunken clown mode so often they're a little taken aback.
I am on an antidepressant for generalized anxiety disorder and while it helps with the irrational worries it doesn't make me anymore outgoing. I wonder what percentage of problem drinkers are shy.

mytimeforchange

Never understood the whole "failed", starting over at day 1 etc? If I get 5 months without a drop I would be "proud". And get back on my horse. With knowing , "hey, just did this for 5 months" or whatever...a long time. I think counting days puts you in a position you ARE always one step away from feeling failure/relapse and know exactly where this group think comes from.....hogwash!......no way to live a life. Just quit, try to live the most productive life you can and sail your boat. There are no failures here. IMO. I quit a 1,000 times in my mind before I did. I am not a failure x1000....

end rant

dwtbd

I'm not much of a counter myself. I did 'quit' many times in the past. Reading about things like Rational Recovery and AVRT helped me to understand why I couldn't stay quit. I suggest those materials based on my experience. The insights to addiction as presented in those materials showed me why it was so hard to end my addiction to alcohol, and showed me how and why I could end it.
For me, quitting drinking and ending the addiction was what I was looking for and I found those tools in AVRT.

Kingtarquin

I might be making too big of a deal about all this sobriety stuff. Maybe I should just take each day as it comes

Dee74

I had no idea how to be sociable without drinking - I hadn't done that since I was 18.... but I worked at it.

I went out for coffee, for pizza, to the movies - I volunteered my time in various community projects - whatever I could do to be with people where alcohol was not a factor....

I worked myself up back to a degree of familiarity with being sober and sociable.

I changed my life - some of my old buddies had to go, as did some of my old haunts, and old pursuits.

They were fine for the old drunk me, but not for the man I wanted to become.

When I did expose myself to alcohol situations again I made sure I had plans - plans for refusing a drink, plans for what to say if people pressed me about it,. and a plan for a quick exit if it all got too much. I found from bitter experience if I simply walked blind and unprepared into a situation where alcohol was flowing, I'd more than likely walk out drunk.

It might sound a lot of work to you right now, but it's really not - no more than the effort I used to put into getting drunk, anyway

D

Mountainmanbob

well it's nothing to take lightly
takes serious work for most who stay sober

actorchris

I'm with you bud. I relapsed this weekend after 2 years sober. For the same reason. Just wanted to go out and be loose, talk to some girls, have the carefreeness that I only get to when I have drinks. That desire kept growing in me over a couple days until I eventually did it. It didnt go well. Took me where it always takes me, which is self destructive and just not consistent with life I'm up to. So, just want to say I'm with ya. And congrats on 5 months, as has been said, just dust off and get back on the horse w/perhaps lesson learned. Glad your back. Keep letting us know how you're doing!

DFU

Extreme alcoholic/hopeless alcoholic/low bottom alcoholic... You're either an alcoholic or you're not.

That was Sunday, now focus on today. All we ever have is a daily reprieve. Don't drink today, then don't drink tomorrow, etc. Just because you had a relapse doesn't mean you have to go back to full blown drunkenness. Also, I think we all feel socially awkward in the beginning, but it will get easier. Anyway, what is the alternative?

It's a tough realization, but don't get caught up too much in the future and what will happen, what will your life be like, etc. Take it day by day. Hang in there!

phoebe64

If you really feel you have a social flaw or intolerance of others, maybe try a therapist? Then you can work through those issues with someone who is trained in assessing that about you. Maybe you are not so intlerant or intolerable but are choosing the wrong people to hang with as well. Hard for us to say, sitting here on the other side of the computers.

But, the slip, it was just a day and you have a choice to leave it that way. 5 months is awesome! Keep it going. It can be 6 months soon, and more! Don't be so hard on yourself for th emistake, just work on why you did it and getting more comfortable with your sober self socially.

duane1

Sorry, but 5 months just isn't enough time for most alcoholics to feel completely comfortable in public. At 16 months I'm not even close. But you know what? I am doing much better at 16 months than I was at 5 months. I am not sure I will ever be completely comfortable in social situations. Maybe it just isn't in the makeup of who I am. I think more importantly, I just need to be more comfortable with myself. How am I doing that? Staying away from booze is #1. #2 is making choices so that I respect who I am. #3 is working on myself to build myself into something where I am proud of what I have accomplished. This involves setting goals for myself and working toward completing them.