How many of you have "made it"?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Farmington, NY
Posts: 232
How many of you have "made it"?
I have to admit, when I read about relapses after 3 to 5 years of sobriety, it terrifies me.
Will the monster never go away? Will I ever be able to let my guard down? Or am I destined to wake up every morning and starting my day with my plan or my all-out assault on not drinking?
If that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. I guess it's my cross to bear.
Will the monster never go away? Will I ever be able to let my guard down? Or am I destined to wake up every morning and starting my day with my plan or my all-out assault on not drinking?
If that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. I guess it's my cross to bear.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
after a while i started to be able to branch out with plans for living the day and pursue interests i enjoyed.
i just now consider myself a non drinker.
give yourself time to heal, both physically and mentally, you can't do it all at once, but every week you will feel better, sleep better and build a good foundation..start maybe eating better and uncluttering your environment?
i just now consider myself a non drinker.
give yourself time to heal, both physically and mentally, you can't do it all at once, but every week you will feel better, sleep better and build a good foundation..start maybe eating better and uncluttering your environment?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 225
After 10 days I'm already thinking about drinking (a little) less. Seems to be happening progressively although I know there will be testing times. Every 'first' (weekend, birthday, stressful long day at work etc) that we can get through without a drink will be a milestone and a positive to build on. I think we should be prepared for the monster at any dangerous time so we can meet it head on and hopefully it will just get weaker and weaker.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi ctrl 
I think relapse fears are understandable - especially in early recovery - for years we've struggled against this thing only to be beaten time and again.
but things can be different - with support and determination and commitment we really can change our lives, and ourselves, and write a different ending to our story
I don't fear relapse any more because I know I've worked hard on my recovery and myself - I'm not who I used to be as a drinker...
and I continue to work on stuff because I love the sober life I've built and the sober self I've become - this is what I wanted
the only statistic that really matters to me is my own
D
I think relapse fears are understandable - especially in early recovery - for years we've struggled against this thing only to be beaten time and again.
but things can be different - with support and determination and commitment we really can change our lives, and ourselves, and write a different ending to our story
I don't fear relapse any more because I know I've worked hard on my recovery and myself - I'm not who I used to be as a drinker...
and I continue to work on stuff because I love the sober life I've built and the sober self I've become - this is what I wanted
the only statistic that really matters to me is my own
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
23 yrs. sober for me is a long many one
day at a time without alcohol. Yes, I
can stay sober today WITH a program
of recovery I've learned thruout the yrs.
to incoperated in my daily routine.
At 30 yrs. old, married with 2 little ones,
I entered rehab via family intervention. It
was though a 28day in stay rehab program
that I began to be fed information and
knowledge of the addiction to alcohol.
That knowledge and tools passed on to me
would help me begin building a strong
foundation in recovery to live upon each
day I remained sober. The longer I stayed
sober, the stronger my foundation became.
It was explained to me that inside me was
a tiger that when fueled or fed with alcohol
would anger it becoming ferocious, growling,
clawing at anything and everything in its path.
When I didn't drink, the tiger would settle
down yet it would be impatient, anxious to
come out. Then when id drink it would start
the process all over again.
The first full day with no alcohol in my body
I put that tiger to sleep. It would remain sleeping,
dormat unless I drank again. From that day
forward, I didn't drink, using the tools and
knowledge of a recovery program consisting
of steps and principles set down for us to
learn and incorporate in my everyday life.
Today, some 23 yrs sober later, my little
tiger is still sleeping inside me. He will
remain that way as long as I don't drink.
The moment I take a sip of alcohol, that
little tiger will wake up, rear his ugly head
and come out roaring, raging, clawing,
anything and everything in its path showing
no mercy. Even tho he has been asleep
all these yrs, doesn't mean he hasn't grown.
He has and he will be big, huge, a monster
ready to do some major damage possibly
killing me.
Today, im in a good sober place, healthy,
happy, honest, living on a strong recovery
foundation, still remaining ever vigilant,
still performing daily maintanence on my
program to insure continued recovery for
many days sober ahead of me.
day at a time without alcohol. Yes, I
can stay sober today WITH a program
of recovery I've learned thruout the yrs.
to incoperated in my daily routine.
At 30 yrs. old, married with 2 little ones,
I entered rehab via family intervention. It
was though a 28day in stay rehab program
that I began to be fed information and
knowledge of the addiction to alcohol.
That knowledge and tools passed on to me
would help me begin building a strong
foundation in recovery to live upon each
day I remained sober. The longer I stayed
sober, the stronger my foundation became.
It was explained to me that inside me was
a tiger that when fueled or fed with alcohol
would anger it becoming ferocious, growling,
clawing at anything and everything in its path.
When I didn't drink, the tiger would settle
down yet it would be impatient, anxious to
come out. Then when id drink it would start
the process all over again.
The first full day with no alcohol in my body
I put that tiger to sleep. It would remain sleeping,
dormat unless I drank again. From that day
forward, I didn't drink, using the tools and
knowledge of a recovery program consisting
of steps and principles set down for us to
learn and incorporate in my everyday life.
Today, some 23 yrs sober later, my little
tiger is still sleeping inside me. He will
remain that way as long as I don't drink.
The moment I take a sip of alcohol, that
little tiger will wake up, rear his ugly head
and come out roaring, raging, clawing,
anything and everything in its path showing
no mercy. Even tho he has been asleep
all these yrs, doesn't mean he hasn't grown.
He has and he will be big, huge, a monster
ready to do some major damage possibly
killing me.
Today, im in a good sober place, healthy,
happy, honest, living on a strong recovery
foundation, still remaining ever vigilant,
still performing daily maintanence on my
program to insure continued recovery for
many days sober ahead of me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
I have made it in the sense that I have come to the understanding that in life, there is no such thing as "try." There is only do, and do not. Thus, when it comes my sobriety, no matter what happens or how I feel, all I have to "do" is not drink today.
Simple.
Achievable.
Now let's go get a Starbucks!
The difficult part, which does get easier, is maintaining your discipline.
Good luck and God Bless
Simple.
Achievable.
Now let's go get a Starbucks!
The difficult part, which does get easier, is maintaining your discipline.
Good luck and God Bless
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Today is four months for me and I've heard the same as you and it's made me wonder. I can offer that at four months the statement "I don't drink", when verbalized, feels a lot differently now than it did at the beginning. It has become more of a non issue that I hope continues down the same exact path, waning more and more as time goes by.
Still, I have talked to many old timers who remind me that although it does get easier you must be mindful of the fact that you will always be one drink away from the madness. The choice will always be there and it's important to never forget why you decided to quit.
Still, I have talked to many old timers who remind me that although it does get easier you must be mindful of the fact that you will always be one drink away from the madness. The choice will always be there and it's important to never forget why you decided to quit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Farmington, NY
Posts: 232
I certainly live two extremely different lifestyles. On one hand, I contribute to my community, I train and race in iron distance triathlons, I am a loving father and husband.
On the other hand, I'm an alcoholic whose binge drinking details all of the efforts of the other lifestyle. I can't work, don't exercise, lie to my family, and as a result get extremely depressed.
My method to not drink is to focus on the positive lifestyle, the one in which alcohol adds no value. I can live that life to its fullest potential without alcohol.
I tell myself that over and over and over. It's day 2.
On the other hand, I'm an alcoholic whose binge drinking details all of the efforts of the other lifestyle. I can't work, don't exercise, lie to my family, and as a result get extremely depressed.
My method to not drink is to focus on the positive lifestyle, the one in which alcohol adds no value. I can live that life to its fullest potential without alcohol.
I tell myself that over and over and over. It's day 2.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
A month here, so not long. I suspect motivation and a good memory help! I really do not ever wish to experience what I did at the point I needed to stop. I have had that moment several times, has brief periods of drying out (two or three days) and started again only to be in the same place a couple of weeks later, with my consciousness screaming in desperation at the madness going on inside my head.
No thank you very much!
I am not 'there' yet by a long way, but I feel so much better, especially when I choose to remember how bad it really was!
I can only assume that those who lapse after a long spell have forgotten where it will take them..or don't care of course. Not to be envied.
No thank you very much!
I am not 'there' yet by a long way, but I feel so much better, especially when I choose to remember how bad it really was!
I can only assume that those who lapse after a long spell have forgotten where it will take them..or don't care of course. Not to be envied.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
I was a hopeless alcoholic drinking a fifth a day for over 20 years so maybe I'm more paranoid than most.
I work a program of recovery that suggest I do a few easy things daily. It is not that I feel that I have to do the things I want to do these things because I am unwilling to ever go back to where I was. The simple system works for me and is so much less work than being an active alcoholic.
Most days I don't think about it all and when I do its just a passing thought that goes as quickly as it comes.
3+ years and life is very good
I work a program of recovery that suggest I do a few easy things daily. It is not that I feel that I have to do the things I want to do these things because I am unwilling to ever go back to where I was. The simple system works for me and is so much less work than being an active alcoholic.
Most days I don't think about it all and when I do its just a passing thought that goes as quickly as it comes.
3+ years and life is very good
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
It's overwhelming when we think about the future. Will we relapse? Will we be happy? Will we be healthy?
This is the kind of stuff we really need to address by taking things a day at a time. You will not relapse today if you have a solid recovery program (whatever works best for you) and a good support system.
You can be happy today if you make the most of it and do healthy things that make you smile.
Wash, rinse, repeat and you're in the future. Take care of today and tomorrow takes care of itself.
Anecdotally, I have almost six months, I still worry about relapse so I work my program to the best of my ability. I am happy because I am sober and I have people around me that care about me.
This is the kind of stuff we really need to address by taking things a day at a time. You will not relapse today if you have a solid recovery program (whatever works best for you) and a good support system.
You can be happy today if you make the most of it and do healthy things that make you smile.
Wash, rinse, repeat and you're in the future. Take care of today and tomorrow takes care of itself.
Anecdotally, I have almost six months, I still worry about relapse so I work my program to the best of my ability. I am happy because I am sober and I have people around me that care about me.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Originally Posted by digdug 
It's overwhelming when we think about the future. Will we relapse? Will we be happy? Will we be healthy?
This is the kind of stuff we really need to address by taking things a day at a time. You will not relapse today if you have a solid recovery program (whatever works best for you) and a good support system.
You can be happy today if you make the most of it and do healthy things that make you smile.
Wash, rinse, repeat and you're in the future. Take care of today and tomorrow takes care of itself.
Anecdotally, I have almost six months, I still worry about relapse so I work my program to the best of my ability. I am happy because I am sober and I have people around me that care about me.
This is the kind of stuff we really need to address by taking things a day at a time. You will not relapse today if you have a solid recovery program (whatever works best for you) and a good support system.
You can be happy today if you make the most of it and do healthy things that make you smile.
Wash, rinse, repeat and you're in the future. Take care of today and tomorrow takes care of itself.
Anecdotally, I have almost six months, I still worry about relapse so I work my program to the best of my ability. I am happy because I am sober and I have people around me that care about me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
When I finally stopped drinking, my life was a mess. I had shaken myself to my core and I felt there was so little left, so I had a lot of rebuilding to do. The upside is that I created an amazing foundation which has served me well for 13 years. I changed my thinking and caused my whole life to shift and change in a positive way.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Somewhere USA
Posts: 238
Originally Posted by Fandy
i just now consider myself a non drinker.
I have a couple of friends that are non drinkers. As long as I've known them, they've never drank. I may have witnessed one split a beer once because there was nothing else around and they were thirsty, but other than that, nope. Nothing. They just don't think about it.
I'd really like to become someone who just doesn't think about it.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
It really does get easier to live a sober life. Relapsing doesn't have to be in anybody's future if they stay real in their sober living - and what is real is for each person to discover for themselves as they examine how their own lives are working out after quitting.
Nothing about our futures has to include struggling with a monster addiction week after month after year and finally giving in anyways because life just blows. Its true for whomever that has been their story, but it doesn't have to be everybodys. Choices we make now can absolutely create a future without worry about being unhappy and just barely staying sober - making it is very doable even for the most hardened cases.
How we make it real is our choice to make - and what we choose today is best done with our being honest about ourselves and our expectations. What do we want for sober living? What will work for our happiness? What is success? What is holding me back from being the best me I can be?
These questions are best answered by our experiences we have as we make our sober life happen - being responsible to ourselves is a great way to keep the sober life real and working for any of us to enjoy worry free today and always. 30+ yrs for me and still going strong!
Awesome going on your early sobriety ctrl. Alot of great posts in this thread!
Nothing about our futures has to include struggling with a monster addiction week after month after year and finally giving in anyways because life just blows. Its true for whomever that has been their story, but it doesn't have to be everybodys. Choices we make now can absolutely create a future without worry about being unhappy and just barely staying sober - making it is very doable even for the most hardened cases.
How we make it real is our choice to make - and what we choose today is best done with our being honest about ourselves and our expectations. What do we want for sober living? What will work for our happiness? What is success? What is holding me back from being the best me I can be?
These questions are best answered by our experiences we have as we make our sober life happen - being responsible to ourselves is a great way to keep the sober life real and working for any of us to enjoy worry free today and always.
30+ yrs for me and still going strong!Awesome going on your early sobriety ctrl. Alot of great posts in this thread!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi ctrl, welcome. For me, it's about accepting that I cannot drink. I don't need all day assaults anymore. I'm over 3 years into recovery. I believe the key is to accept it. I cannot drink alcohol. It is very freeing. Very best to you. Stick around. This is a great place for support.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I'm only two years into my sober life , so i can only tell you that i've made it thus far .
Not had a peep out of my "tiger" for a year now , i see mine as more of a ghost .. a spectre ... I would give it my flesh, bones and a mind if i drank, turning me into one of the walking dead ...
The way i see it worrying about stumbling on the journey dosn't make the journey not worth traveling .
If i were given a free luxury holiday to Australia worrying being stranded in the london airports for 24 or 48 hours dosn't make me give up before i've put my swimsuit in my luggage .
Bestwishes, m
Not had a peep out of my "tiger" for a year now , i see mine as more of a ghost .. a spectre ... I would give it my flesh, bones and a mind if i drank, turning me into one of the walking dead ...
The way i see it worrying about stumbling on the journey dosn't make the journey not worth traveling .
If i were given a free luxury holiday to Australia worrying being stranded in the london airports for 24 or 48 hours dosn't make me give up before i've put my swimsuit in my luggage .
Bestwishes, m
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
The way I see it, we never "make it"; all we get is a daily reprieve.
I drank after 30 years.
I drank because I stopped doing the things I needed to do to stay sober even though staying sober had long since stopped being any kind of a huge effort or a struggle.
I lost contact with my support network, didn't do anything to fix that, started getting stinking thinking and doubting my powerlessness, didn't do anything to fix that either, and after 5 years of seriously contemplating it, I picked up that first drink.
A little more than a year and a half later, I am once more convinced that I cannot control alcohol once I have that first drink. I feel fortunate to have made it back.
If I take care of today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
I drank after 30 years.
I drank because I stopped doing the things I needed to do to stay sober even though staying sober had long since stopped being any kind of a huge effort or a struggle.
I lost contact with my support network, didn't do anything to fix that, started getting stinking thinking and doubting my powerlessness, didn't do anything to fix that either, and after 5 years of seriously contemplating it, I picked up that first drink.
A little more than a year and a half later, I am once more convinced that I cannot control alcohol once I have that first drink. I feel fortunate to have made it back.
If I take care of today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
Sitting here at 16 months, I just don't think about alcohol much anymore. If I do, it is usually with much disdain because I saw what it did to me and many others I have known. I was at a family reunion this weekend where alcohol was available, but I know it just isn't for me anymore. I couldn't handle it then and I know nothing has changed since then. So, I just dismiss the thought of it. I don't need or want it anymore. My life is being positively reinforced by my sobriety every day. I lost 30 lbs and am in good shape now. I exercise nearly every day. I play the guitar every day and am making solid progress with it. My marriage is happy again. My kids aren't scared of me anymore. I am reconnecting relationships in every aspect of my life. I could go on and on. Once you start gaining traction in your new life, it would literally be insanity to go back. I hope you get to that point in your recovery because it is very rewarding. It is like you survived a near death experience. The sun shines brighter. The morning birds sound more beautiful.....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
I've only been sober a little over one year. I honestly don't think too much about my sobriety - meaning I don't obsess over it. As cliche as it sounds, taking it one day at a time works for me. Getting myself all overwelmed by thinking of the "big picture" has been a character flaw of mine for some time. I'm one of those people who has always thought there is so much to do, how will I ever get it all done...then I end up doing nothing. Not very smart. Getting sober has taught me a new way of thinking. I've learned that if I just look at today and what needs to happen in the here and now, I do not get overwelmed and I don't feel like drinking all my anxiety away.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
