Back to square 1... Day 2...
 

So I have gotten in to some bad habits again. A six pack turned into a six pack 6 nights a week. I just can't seem to get into a "casual" routine.

So I am going to give this a go again. It's for my health, it's for my anxiety, and it's for my kids and wife. I need to do this. I want to do this. I just seem to talk myself out of it. I tell myself I don't have a problem or dependency, but I get so anxious without. I just need to kick it.

Let's go!!!!

I know you don't want to apply the term alcoholic to your drinking, but if you can't quit, despite your strong desire to do so, you have a problem. Call it whatever you want. But if you accept you have a problem with alcohol, perhaps you will accept that you need to treat it like an alcohol problem.

For many of us, that meant "recovery" not abstinence.

i think because it hasnt effected my job, and hasn't effected my family (other than when my wife gets frustrated by it) i have been able to classify it one way. it just feels very similar to when i quite smoking. i WANT to stop. but at the end of the day i talk myself into it. Then I go to bed drunk and mad at myself.

Your enthusiasim is obvious and its own reward. I'm not sure though being on-point is enough to assure success day after day. There are specific reasons you return to drinking, and not all of them are about you in a personal sense - and the ones that are common with others who also struggle with success in quitting are best worked from a different angle then using your personality traits to solve the quitting drinking problems your're having. I know, its frustrating. Try not to take all of it as a personal failure.

You CAN successfully quit, and still be yourself and at your best. Its just not all going to come together and work in only a few days, is all.

:)

I drank for three years with that kind of thinking. I drank alone in my apartment. I never drank at work. I never drove drunk. I thought it didn't affect my relationships. I knew I had a problem (hard to drink a 5th of vodka every night and not consider the possibility of alcoholism) but I just didn't care. No consequences. But when the consequence came (and they always do, eventually), it nearly killed me.

Glad to see you giving it another go before you reach some unbearable consequence you may never wake up from.

Glad you're back and trying again. :)