Charliee

Haven't had a drink in six months, after 4 years of completely out of control. But what I did have was some anti anxiety pills that I happened to call in, pick up and abuse. Just like drinking, except I have less memory and more anger. I have now risked losing my husband again. My counselor mentioned that I no longer have my six months of sobriety, which almost caused me to pick up the drink again as I had already messed up again, so why not?? Luckily, I reminded myself that those six months still count and I wasn't giving them back. Still so ashamed of myself!!

Dee74

whats done is done

The important thing is you didn't compound the problem by drinking again and you've come here for more support

D

KristyCat

I don't like the idea that people have lost all that sobriety time if they slip up. I guess that's why they say "relapse is part of recovery" (not for everyone, but for some). I would view your abuse of anti-anxiety pills as a slip and a major sign you need more help, or to change something in your life, to work harder in your recovery program--but don't think that since you slipped up, you should just throw in the towel and start drinking. That is very dangerous and alcoholic thinking.

You have 6 months of sobriety from alcohol, so you know that you can have 6 months more! And more beyond that.

digdug

I think it's good way to look at it like those six months still count. You did it! And now you know you can do it again.

You had a slip and learned that your addiction extends beyond just alcohol.

Just keep being honest with your counselor and yourself.

Chin up!

least

to SR! I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

FourSeasons

Hi Charliee - I too think this policy of recovery is extremely harsh, unforgiving, and punishing. I totally understand how this draconian policy may entice people to say "f*ck it* to their newly found sobriety after a slip.

Never forget those 6 months. That is a major accomplishment!!

lorelei

NOTHING takes away your sober time C xx.

wakko

Sober time is never lost. Each day that we are sober we are learning and that knowledge can never be taken away. Sobriety dates are nothing more than the last time we took a drink or drug. In reality the only thing I have to worry about is being sober today. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't happened, so that leaves me with today. Today I will do what I need to do. This will include asking for a day of sobriety, talking to another alcoholic, going to an AA meeting, and God willing thanking him tonight for a day sobriety. So far this simple plan has worked pretty well for over a thousand days.

Dee74

To be fair 4S, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say we totally lose our sober time...

The purpose of going back to day one is not a punishment - or it shouldn't be...it's simply an acknowledgement that we have a little more work to do.

It's about being honest with ourselves about our progress, I think - and if we can't be honest with ourselves, we're pretty much sunk, really.

but sober time is never lost - everything we learn and gain and accomplish in our sober time is always still there - the only way we could lose that is if we choose to turn our back on it & throw it away

D

foolsgold66

Hmm. At first I was confused by this post, then I saw the word 'abuse' about the anti-anxiety pills.

Yeah, your six months count. It is a sober period, likely marked by better behavior and a healthier body. Try to identify what circumstance put you in that spot to abuse the pills and build some strategies for coping with it without drugs or alcohol.

sgs

Interesting to read this thread today. I am day 47. yesterday I started to think about how obsessed I am with the number. It is a badge of honor to me. Right now it would keep me from one drink tomorrow night with friends. However, is it ok to be hung up on the number. I am kind of an all or nothing person so maybe it is. I am so thankful I found this site. It has saved my life and family.