I couldn't do it and remain sober - old me is dead
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I couldn't do it and remain sober - old me is dead
So, as many of you know from my posts, I have been over here in Singapore for the F1 races, which I used to do every year. I made it through the hospitality events no problem and had some major breakthroughs. Tonight was a club event at the Amber Lounge - perhaps my favorite club in the World. A client insisted I attend in spite of my desire to clean up - I told him prior to this trip I could not drink but not that I was an alcoholic/addict. Anyhow, with my $2K pass I sat on our couch waited on by the most beautiful people and girls trying to pull me on the dance floor. Yet the only thing I could focus on was the Magnum of Belvedere and how I could score some blow.
I texted my sponsor and told my client and his friends I had to leave. I just could not do it and remain sober. I know some of you predicted it would be too tough and you were right.
I am definitely leaving the old me behind, yet tonight I am a bit melancholy over the whole thing. I am sober and heading to bed for an early flight to Taiwan.
I texted my sponsor and told my client and his friends I had to leave. I just could not do it and remain sober. I know some of you predicted it would be too tough and you were right.
I am definitely leaving the old me behind, yet tonight I am a bit melancholy over the whole thing. I am sober and heading to bed for an early flight to Taiwan.
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Change, complete change, is death to the old self. I don't know of any change more complete than recovery. Say goodbye to the old self, the old life. There is nothing to mourn; there is too much excitment in the new.
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Originally Posted by jdooner 
I texted my sponsor and told my client and his friends I had to leave. I just could not do it and remain sober. I know some of you predicted it would be too tough and you were right.
I am definitely leaving the old me behind, yet tonight I am a bit melancholy over the whole thing. I am sober and heading to bed for an early flight to Taiwan.
I am definitely leaving the old me behind, yet tonight I am a bit melancholy over the whole thing. I am sober and heading to bed for an early flight to Taiwan.
Thanks for proving me wrong!!
Congratulations to you. I very much appreciate the personal strength this took to make the decisions you did!
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One of the owners of the club, an old GF who didn't think I could make it through the weekend sober saw me walking out and asked what was wrong. I just said I couldn't do it and stay sober and that meant I could not stay alive if I was not sober. She cried and gave me a big hug and a kiss, which felt nice.
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Man that sounds like a truly difficult and therefore goddamn impressive move. I also know the sadness of leaving old selves behind - it's not easy.
Congratulations, awesome work and thank you for sharing.
Congratulations, awesome work and thank you for sharing.
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Originally Posted by jdooner
One of the owners of the club, an old GF who didn't think I could make it through the weekend sober saw me walking out and asked what was wrong. I just said I couldn't do it and stay sober and that meant I could not stay alive if I was not sober. She cried and gave me a big hug and a kiss, which felt nice.
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Glad you were strong and left before anything happened. Leaving the old me behind is something that i had to learn to do in recovery. In early recovery i tried to carry on living the same life just in a sober manner. I realized after a short time that it wasn't possible. I am a completely different person now. Glad you made a great choice! 
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Heath480 - I could have attended tonight and fought the urges the issue is I could not have enjoyed myself. I had models that I used to hang with trying to pull me out of my funk and I was preoccupied with the Belveder and whether my hookup in Singapore was around. That is why I am melancholy about it. The things I used to enjoy, clubs, women, booze, coke I can't do these anymore bc the Jekyl and Hyde started to become one and my Worlds collided. The whole reason people want me at these events is they were used to a certain person - a person I can't be anymore. Thats why my old GF was crying when I left. I told my wife about it and she acted like it was no big deal and couldn't give a ****, which has me wondering if she has started drinking again at home while I have been away, ugh! I still have another week over here in Asia too.
For the ladies on this thread, I did bump into David Beckham on the way out and Rihanna was on the way in too.
For the ladies on this thread, I did bump into David Beckham on the way out and Rihanna was on the way in too.
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Your doing fan flipping tastic! That is so much pressure to withstand! You should be so proud of yourself.
In time maybe you'll realise that you can still have fun without drinking but I can certainly see how these events would challenge you. Especially in those circles.
Anyways - keep it up
In time maybe you'll realise that you can still have fun without drinking but I can certainly see how these events would challenge you. Especially in those circles.
Anyways - keep it up
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