Couldnt of gone worst.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
I am not unsympathetic towards you RJ.
It will not help to feel bad. It is the old story do not focus on the bus you did not catch keep an eye open for the next one.
Do you sometime read in the family section RJ, how the loved ones are affected by our drinking. Devastating stories often – but true.
You stayed sober for a month, you can do it again and you are a experience richer and you will not be fooled again by thoughts about you can not have fun without alcohol.
I am glad you posted it.
Stay strong RJ.
It will not help to feel bad. It is the old story do not focus on the bus you did not catch keep an eye open for the next one.
Do you sometime read in the family section RJ, how the loved ones are affected by our drinking. Devastating stories often – but true.
You stayed sober for a month, you can do it again and you are a experience richer and you will not be fooled again by thoughts about you can not have fun without alcohol.
I am glad you posted it.
Stay strong RJ.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I am truly sorry you had to go through all that, RJ.
I really needed to read your post today. It's so easy to forget that for me, one drink can lead to such chaos in a matter of hours.
Please give sobriety another try. It's never too late.
I really needed to read your post today. It's so easy to forget that for me, one drink can lead to such chaos in a matter of hours.
Please give sobriety another try. It's never too late.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,987
The beast that lurks within is a big guy too, but no need to be afraid of him, just arm yourself with any and all resources you can muster to do battle with the addictive voice, then you are unlikely to find yourself in a situation where you're scared of a real life big guy!
"Soon"... I agree with others. Getting back on the wagon hurts but it means now, this minute.
Good luck.
"Soon"... I agree with others. Getting back on the wagon hurts but it means now, this minute.
Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I am getting on that wagon again soon but right now is way to soon and I have 3 cans of beer to help me through right now but will be back to give it another go.
Draw a battle line in the sand.
D
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Unfortunately you drank and then did what we all have done too many times. IMHO where the real problem occured is going toe to toe with alcohol excpecting that will power would be enough.
For myself I can never afford to underestimate my foe.
For myself I can never afford to underestimate my foe.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Sorry to hear you drank rjy.
I'm concerned that you believe the situation wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for theother guy.Maybe consider the situation wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been drinking-if you hadn't drunk you wouldn't have rowed with your wife. If it hadn't beentheother guy it wouldhave been something else.If any situation had happened you would have handled it better if you'd been sober.
I agree with a previous poster- once I drink unpredictable and bad things happen.Hope yo u tip the beers away
I'm concerned that you believe the situation wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for theother guy.Maybe consider the situation wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been drinking-if you hadn't drunk you wouldn't have rowed with your wife. If it hadn't beentheother guy it wouldhave been something else.If any situation had happened you would have handled it better if you'd been sober.
I agree with a previous poster- once I drink unpredictable and bad things happen.Hope yo u tip the beers away
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by RJY9 
I have failed miserably and lost 2 great friends. It was an hour into the wedding and I was drinking again. The music went on and the party started. We had fun and lots of it and I almost made to the end without anything bad happening. My wife and I had a few words and someone overheard and decided to tell me they were going to smash my face in for talking to my own wife disrespectfully (this guy was also extremely drunk) I walked away and mentioned it another person and they went and had a chat to him and he tried to go for me but people pulled him away. The next thing I know is that everyone has turned on me and told me its all my fault for swearing at my wife and it was at that point my mood changed and I said a couple of nasty things to some close friends and the next thing I know I am being handcuffed by the Police and was taken to a police cell for 12 hours which is a first for me and I was extremely frightened as this room was so small and I felt terribly claustrophobic. I was released and fined a couple hundred dollars. Taking that first drink was probably one of the worst decision's I have ever made in my life. Many people had said to me that it will be ok if you drink today as its a wedding and I know that wasn't true but I guess I wanted to believe that. In hindsight none of the worst of this story would of happened if that guy had minded his own business but I would be lying to myself if some form of argument would of happened anyway. I screwed up badly and I am so unhappy about it. I am getting on that wagon again soon but right now is way to soon and I have 3 cans of beer to help me through right now but will be back to give it another go. I haven't finished trying yet. I'm so sorry for breaking my promise guys. I let myself and everyone who truly cares about me down. I also now fear that guy will come and beat me up so im now paranoid and looking over my shoulder. He was a big guy and I certaintly wouldn't stand a chance against him. Im scared.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by RJY9
In hindsight none of the worst of this story would of happened if that guy had minded his own business...
It's time to stop blaming people, places and things for your misery.
Getting sober is extremely difficult, and virtually no one achieves sobriety without a great deal of hard work. Whatever you've been doing isn't working. You need to do something different if you want to take control over your own life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
can relate RJY, I wrecked my best friends wedding last year in Greece by falling off the wagon BIG time, I was only 6 weeks sober and advised not to go but I thought I could manage it, don't even remember what had happened blacked out and was basically asked to leave and put in a taxi which I then jumped out of at a set of lights, I only found out about what I had done the next day when my friends brother told me I owed everyone an apology, I drank even more then to get through the guilt, was lucky to survive that but lost the best friend Ive ever had, all because I picked up that first drink.
Im suffering now with guilt and remorse from a recent bender in which ive let a lot of people down,every time I drink I blackout and im in a truly dark place right now, wish you all the best mate and hope we can both beat this horrible illness.
Im suffering now with guilt and remorse from a recent bender in which ive let a lot of people down,every time I drink I blackout and im in a truly dark place right now, wish you all the best mate and hope we can both beat this horrible illness.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,009
My view is that blame (including yourself) will not change anything. You are an alcoholic and this is the consequence of you succumbing to your addiction. Pick yourself up, remember this as your rock bottom (and you only want to move upwards), make amends at the appropriate time, and make sobriety your number one priority.
Every single day make sobriety your primary achievement. Nothing else is as important. Nothing else will get in the way of your sobriety. Dont ever give up.
Every single day make sobriety your primary achievement. Nothing else is as important. Nothing else will get in the way of your sobriety. Dont ever give up.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by RJY9
In hindsight none of the worst of this story would of happened if that guy had minded his own business
That's what hindsight tells you? Like Uninvited and Endgame...this sentence jumped out at me like a bat out of hell.
Just can't blame the alcohol...can't betray the relationship you still want with it.
RJ....what do these events and the one you had where you called your mother out so hideously the last time you drank tell you?
It's all downhill from here sweetie. It's over. You can't go back....you're way over the line. It has to end. I fear for what will happen next if you continue this way.
Please. Look at it honestly. Call it a relapse and just get on with sobriety. Choose a better life....choose to grow....choose to show up and be the man you want to be for yourself and your family
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Hi RJY9, I have to agree with the other posts here. Ask yourself, would any of these sequence of events have happened if you did not pick up that first drink? Would you have gotten into a verbal fight with your wife and started talking to her disrespectfully in front of others? Just saying...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
RJ. The one thing that alcohol does for us Alcoholics (when we drink) is define our character into something that we are ashamed to be. My drinking days were spent with apologies, blackouts, losing a job.....Thankfully, I had enough humiliation and decided that I needed to start carving out who I am in this world without the help of alcohol. The obsession to drink goes away when allowed enough time to heal. I am not sure what has to take place for you in order for you to stop the insanity? I hope this is it. There is a lot of "BAD" things that could take place if you continue to drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
Posts: 259
Thanks for the words everyone I take them on-board. U guys have Hillbillies in the states right? well here they are called Travellers and this one is going to be looking for me as they have a code that means they have to. I'm worried and wont be able to stand up to 500 of the bastards when they come for me. Its not a normal person.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by RJY9
Thanks for the words everyone I take them on-board. U guys have Hillbillies in the states right? well here they are called Travellers and this one is going to be looking for me as they have a code that means they have to. I'm worried and wont be able to stand up to 500 of the bastards when they come for me. Its not a normal person.
I think the more important question is how you are doing with your drinking..did you get rid of the beer you had at home yesterday?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
RJ, could be you are catastrophising this, and they have already forgotten about it, if anything was going to happen it most prob would have by now.
I know your emotions are heightened right now, but try and take a step back and think about this, or not, as the case may be x
I know your emotions are heightened right now, but try and take a step back and think about this, or not, as the case may be x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Hillbillies, huh? Sounds more like a gang to me. Among the derogatory terms we have here for some groups of people are 'white trash', 'trailer trash', 'gang', 'redneck', mountain folk', and 'swamp folk'. Mostly none of them would be organized enough for 500 to 'come and get you'.
I still say there is a creative and peaceful way to apologize without getting hurt, if you work at it.
Making amends to someone you don't like and are scared of is likely an opportunity for personal growth.
I still say there is a creative and peaceful way to apologize without getting hurt, if you work at it.
Making amends to someone you don't like and are scared of is likely an opportunity for personal growth.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 303
Originally Posted by RJY9
Thanks for the words everyone I take them on-board. U guys have Hillbillies in the states right? well here they are called Travellers and this one is going to be looking for me as they have a code that means they have to. I'm worried and wont be able to stand up to 500 of the bastards when they come for me. Its not a normal person.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
