falko89

I was never a big drinker, strictly a weekend warrior, the problem was it was every single weekend, previous to this I had not missed drinking at the weekend for over a year, Well I have done 2 weekends now in a row, thats a first for me since I started drinking at 18 (32 now). I'd tried to give it up like forever but never got anywhere but a book by Jason Vale that finally got me to give it up.

The problem is I am now missing the one thing that brightened up my other wise mundane life. I work in a dead end min wage job, the one thing I that brightened up my week was the thought of a drink or 8 at the weekends and now thats gone I am struggling to find a purpose or something to look forward to. Being in a min wage job is a struggle as you only earn enough to feed and put a roof over your head and I guess the drink cheered me up hence why I feel so fed up now.

I thought giving up the drink would be a moment of elation, but Sundays are still crap whether your sober or hungover and life is still for want of a better word $hit, the only difference now being I can't escape from it now for a few hours at the weekend.

Dee74

what do you do with your weekends now falko?

D

Jeni26

I guess you must be saving some money now Falko? Is there something nice you can do with the money you would have been spending on booze?x

least

When I gave it up my life was sh!t too for a while but I worked on it and changed it until it was to my liking. Change doesn't just appear, you have to work on it. I know what it's like to be stuck in a dead end job and it's no fun, but drinking, to me, is even less fun.


Stick with us for support. We care about you and want you to enjoy your life.

Nuudawn

Shortcuts don't really lead anywhere. So you either make use of your leisure time to envision and will a new outcome (e.g. better job, new interests etc) or you drink your way through it and stay at the minimum pay job and live for weekend drunks. Ya..that sounds fun.

Enlarge yourself..and your life..or well, work a crap job to buy beer on the weekend.

falko89

Not much, this weekend I have sat on the internet and watched TV, I don't have any interests and cant afford to go anywhere.

I study part time at uni and thats starting next weekend so I have that to keep me occupied but its hardly what I would call something I look forward to.

falko89

I only ever bought carry outs so not much savings really, I am saving it for the kids Christmas presents

falko89

I think I need to find something to look forward to to replace the drinking. The weekend binging has become a habit so long now and I guess its because of my crappy job I do it, it numbs the pain of it all for a few hours each week.

Mentium

Giving up involves a cost/benefit calculation for most of us.

hypochondriac

Personally I don't think the solution to life being sh;t is to just find something else to do. You say you have no interests, well I have a ton of interests and life was still sh;t when I first got sober too. An absolutely massive part of the way you feel is the fall out from your addiction. Your AV is kicking back and saying 'where's my booze, this is sh;t'. Well tough it out, it gets better. The less you define your life around a beverage the better it becomes. So, don't just find something else to do, read some more recovery literature, maybe Allen Carr's book or the AVRT book. Try and figure out why you feel like your life is sh;t rather than just filling the void.

Oh, and there was a line in the book living sober that really resonated with me, about alcoholics having a temporary lack of imagination when they first get sober about what to do It then went on to list a load of things to do which didn't really require money. Even if you don't have money to travel walking is free. Volunteer somewhere, play with your kids (isn't that what they're for, entertainment? ). Personally I don't find the prospect of getting totally wasted very exciting any more, I would much rather walk my dog or watch films I can remember watching...

Threshold

I don't know how things are in the UK, but at this time of year in the States there are a LOT of free festivals. Free bands, art to look at. A good way to get out in the Sun, spend some time, see some things.

Mountainmanbob

yes booze can be the great escape
but, if we live long enough life will catch up with us
all of the escaping actually worked against us

deal with life now sober
or later sober
or as some do die drunk

you don't have much money this I understand
do you have a bicycle
one can be bought used for not a lot of money - 25 bucks
you may wish to get out and enjoy a sober bicycle ride ??

Mountainman

pinkdog

Hi falko, great job on quitting. When you find other things to do, you will feel better. Find something to look forward to. Maybe a festival, go to a park or play some sports. Think about what you used to do before you started drinking. Look around. You will find things to do. Great job.

happyhour

falko, i agree. when you stop drinking your life feels empty.

the reason it feels empty is we now have countless hours on our hands, that used to be reserved for getting loaded.

so, if you don't fill it with something productive (activities that either interest you or challenge you), you have a large open time slot that just seems, boring ....

Croissant

Hey Falco, thanks for your raw, to the point post.

I get it, I totally do. I call that voice my "bratty" voice....because that's how I felt early on and sometimes do, occasionally now. It's the 'woe is me, I'm bored, a few drinks can't hurt, it's the weekend for cr$&@sake!!!'....voice.

Sometimes the weekend feels like it will be a hopelessly empty gap without some alcohol....and how wasteful of 2 damn good days of relaxing, sleeping in with a hangover.

You gave up drinking for a reason....what was it? There's sure to be a few hard weekends ahead, but as the sobriety adds up, your head clears, you make space for new things, new decisions....like maybe a second job for some extra money? Or new ways to accept that this job isn't forever, and make plans for a future on the weekends....anything to move you forward, not in the terminal loop you were in....as we all were, when we were drinking.

falko89

Yes at the moment the weekend feels kind of pointless, the weekend for me = alcohol for many years, and now on a Sunday evening another week is on the way without my little reward for struggling through it.

Erratic

I understand how u feel, i found it out due to working at weekend but free time i have problem with.

What about going to the gym, get some friends together and do that? Why not go to the pub if things are not a problem and have a coke and a meal? Its about keeping bz which ive been told, im sure there is things u could be doing? if ur saving money not drinking why not buy for the house or kids or for a future hobby or take urself out somewhere.

Do know how u feel, im struggling just doing what i am.

NoelleR

There's an old saying one hears from some folks in AA.........that when one quits drinking one's life gets better.....well, I'm here to tell you, that's a lie.

When one quits drinking, one's life gets different; it's up to each individual to make it better (whatever that may be for each individual).

I always loved the acronym for AA ----- Attitude Adjustment......I can be happy or I can be miserable; it's my choice.......just something to think about....

(o:
NoelleR

sicknote

Find a passion? Cultivate an interest?

Swimming? Biking? Running? Rock climbing? Cooking? Baking? Reading? Singing?

Look for something you'll enjoy doing, and do it. Spend your booze money on that?

sicknote

Oh, and I know exactly how you feel.