View Poll Results: Did you hang out at bars and pubs in early sobriety?
Yes
8
15.09%
No
36
67.92%
Once or twice then got tired of it
9
16.98%
Can't remember
0
0%
Voters: 53. You may not vote on this poll
How Many Of You Hung Out at Bars and Pubs in Early Sobriety? (1 year and over)
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I should admit that I have done a few happy hours with my co-workers. I really like them and they are good people. The first time, I told them I couldn't drink for medical reasons, which is absolutely true. They knew I was in the hospital. They knew I had to take 6 weeks off in the beginning of the year. They just didn't know it was because of alcohol.
The only comment I got was, "Ahhh. That's too bad."
So when we go out, I just order my tonic and lime. No one says anything.
I feel perfectly comfortable because there is no pressure and bars are not a trigger for me. I only drank alone in my apartment. Isolation is my trigger.
But I always keep my guard up. I'm always the first to leave. I know I am a potentially dangerous situation.
My sponsor always says about stuff like this, "Do you really need to be there? Like REALLY need to be there?"
I think it's important to bond with co-workers but that's the extent to which I will go. I have not gone to a bar just to go to a bar. I don't really need to be there.
The only comment I got was, "Ahhh. That's too bad."
So when we go out, I just order my tonic and lime. No one says anything.
I feel perfectly comfortable because there is no pressure and bars are not a trigger for me. I only drank alone in my apartment. Isolation is my trigger.
But I always keep my guard up. I'm always the first to leave. I know I am a potentially dangerous situation.
My sponsor always says about stuff like this, "Do you really need to be there? Like REALLY need to be there?"
I think it's important to bond with co-workers but that's the extent to which I will go. I have not gone to a bar just to go to a bar. I don't really need to be there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I didn't go anywhere near a bar for about six months.
When I did it was because I was working late and knew it was a spot I could grab a hamburger.
Listening to the people next to me talking smart, really reinforced how little I was missing out on.
When I did it was because I was working late and knew it was a spot I could grab a hamburger.
Listening to the people next to me talking smart, really reinforced how little I was missing out on.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I've been sober 14 months now and I still don't go these places. For me I have to ask myself "what is really the point of going?". Other than watching people get plastered, knowing I can't.
I have no desire to go to these places and if I never go into one again, I am okay with that.
I have no desire to go to these places and if I never go into one again, I am okay with that.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I used to gig at clubs and parties as a mobile DJ. I got paid to party but the drunks and punks made me consider places to over indulge booooring! I did not like places in the dark to simulate the rebellion of hiding and doing what bad boys and girls do.
Want to see how much fun the actual activity of partying is just flip on bright lights and see if the sizzle doesn't fizzle.
I agree very much with the post about remembering sitting in dark places talking like a fool and spending big bucks for it to feel cool is the opposite.
Want to see how much fun the actual activity of partying is just flip on bright lights and see if the sizzle doesn't fizzle.
I agree very much with the post about remembering sitting in dark places talking like a fool and spending big bucks for it to feel cool is the opposite.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Ive made the mistake of nipping in for a soft drink to watch the football and its triggered me. My former sponsor said if you keep going to a barbers shop youll eventually get a haircut! Im not looking to go anywhere near one for a while because they don't offer me anything anymore.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I'm 9 and a half months sober and have been in a pub once when dropping Mr RAL off. They hold no interest for me at all.People drinking and getting drunk is of no interest to me.
I'd go to a restaurant for a birthday meal where drinking wasn't the sole focus. It scares me when I read of people with days/weeks sobriety hanging round pubs and bars. For me, stopping drinking wasn't just putting down thedrink but changing lifestyle habits. Why take a chance and dance with the devil?
I'd go to a restaurant for a birthday meal where drinking wasn't the sole focus. It scares me when I read of people with days/weeks sobriety hanging round pubs and bars. For me, stopping drinking wasn't just putting down thedrink but changing lifestyle habits. Why take a chance and dance with the devil?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 12
Worked in a bar for years prior to sobriety, and I work in a bar now. I guess it has always seemed more normal to me to be chilling at the bar sober than for someone who isn't working in that environment. However now I find bars to be very dull.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
I occasionally go to bars to meet friends. I don't drink, I just have a game of pool and a diet coke, then I go home. I think I have to get used to the fact that other people can drink and I can't, it's not their problem.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
I can think of one bar I've been in in the past 10 and a half months. It was staff Christmas party. So yes, I ordered my two diet cokes, engaged in some idle chit chat and went on my merry way.
Other than that, I avoid bars and pubs like the plague. Even restaurants I'm quite wary off, but those are harder to avoid.
I agree with the OP though, hanging out in bars and pubs is a pretty crummy idea for a recovering drunk.
Other than that, I avoid bars and pubs like the plague. Even restaurants I'm quite wary off, but those are harder to avoid.
I agree with the OP though, hanging out in bars and pubs is a pretty crummy idea for a recovering drunk.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 145
Originally Posted by MrBen 
To be honest the reason I don't usually go to bars is because for a sober person, they are mind-meltingly boring. As are drunks.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Somewhere USA
Posts: 238
It's been nearly 6 mos. for me and I haven't yet. That's not to say I won't.
However. I won't go into a bar that doesn't have some type of live entertainment anymore. Those are strictly off limits (unless it's a quick stop on a poker run).
What I mean is, the bar has to have a live band. I've always enjoyed live music, be it an professional band in an arena, or a bar band that does a decent cover. My Club has a band that plays the local pubs, and I am sure sometime again I will stop by to see them.
Maybe this time, I'll actually remember what they played.
However. I won't go into a bar that doesn't have some type of live entertainment anymore. Those are strictly off limits (unless it's a quick stop on a poker run).
What I mean is, the bar has to have a live band. I've always enjoyed live music, be it an professional band in an arena, or a bar band that does a decent cover. My Club has a band that plays the local pubs, and I am sure sometime again I will stop by to see them.
Maybe this time, I'll actually remember what they played.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Im 8 days sober and went to a go go bar that I would attend faithfully every weekend and must I say, I was bored out of my mind. I would spend hours there before and actually enjoy myself getting hammered and listening to the worst dj.
I cant remove myself from my surrounding since everybody and there mother I know drinks. I just know that these past 8 days have been wonderful and I do not plan to go back the way I was.
I cant remove myself from my surrounding since everybody and there mother I know drinks. I just know that these past 8 days have been wonderful and I do not plan to go back the way I was.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Let me clarify.
My wife still drinks and smokes and I quit both, for good, three years ago. I have no problem abstaining. There is a carton of cigarettes and several bottles of scotch and gin in the cabinet I have to move out of the way to get to the saltines and chips.
I don't stay out of bars to avoid triggers, I am truly a non-alcoholic drinker now. I can and have been to pig roasts and mudbug boils where some drinking is going on. These usually are family affairs and almost everyone keeps it light until dark and the kids and non drinkers know to go because it is nearing stupid hour. If someone stays they are planning their relapse in my book.
I don't mind festivals and live bands in daylight. In the dark however, the aggression, loud know it all monologues, body fluids and mating behaviors start, even for those who are married. I have a flesh and blood female who I get to see naked, and engage in flirtatious behaviors with, and is a consummate consummator. I am spoiled rotten and try to return the favor.
Beyond alcohol, bars do have a lot to offer, some even have girls and are called "Gentleman's" clubs, for guys who are anything but. I am just not up for any of that like I was as a single young guy, and drunk. How I ended up disease free and alive is beyond my comprehension, but not beyond me.
My wife still drinks and smokes and I quit both, for good, three years ago. I have no problem abstaining. There is a carton of cigarettes and several bottles of scotch and gin in the cabinet I have to move out of the way to get to the saltines and chips.
I don't stay out of bars to avoid triggers, I am truly a non-alcoholic drinker now. I can and have been to pig roasts and mudbug boils where some drinking is going on. These usually are family affairs and almost everyone keeps it light until dark and the kids and non drinkers know to go because it is nearing stupid hour. If someone stays they are planning their relapse in my book.
I don't mind festivals and live bands in daylight. In the dark however, the aggression, loud know it all monologues, body fluids and mating behaviors start, even for those who are married. I have a flesh and blood female who I get to see naked, and engage in flirtatious behaviors with, and is a consummate consummator. I am spoiled rotten and try to return the favor.
Beyond alcohol, bars do have a lot to offer, some even have girls and are called "Gentleman's" clubs, for guys who are anything but. I am just not up for any of that like I was as a single young guy, and drunk. How I ended up disease free and alive is beyond my comprehension, but not beyond me.
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