Mizzuno

A few times now within my work environment the idea has come up, from a co-worker, that I should go and drink with her. I simply stated that I do not drink, but I would love to do something else.

After the first invitation the conversation was dropped until today. This co-worker then said " You seem so fun, I just don't understand why you do not drink?" I replied that I do not like the way Alcohol makes me feel and I do not like being hungover. I will not explain myself and I do not have any reason to tell anybody anything.

This small explanation was all that I thought to say. Why did I even say this much? Why would it even matter? I told her that I could care less if she drinks or not. I am not even sure why I was having this conversation now that I think about it? No sense in regret now.

I am perplexed by the idea that a person can not have fun without Alcohol, or rather I am confused by the notion that I can not " Hang Out" with this person because I do not drink. I am fun without Alcohol. With alcohol I am a complete mess. Alcohol and Mizzuno= Life sabotage

I guess I just needed to put this down somewhere and get it off my chest and out of my head. For whatever reason this conversation is weighing on me.

I have personalized this persons thoughts and have felt heavy for the better part of the evening. I know that this questioning of me has something to do with her own vices....or there is some negative idea about people who do not drink.

In any case, I am good spirited and fun to be around without drinking.

I stand strong in my resolve. I have a life to create and live.

Thank you for reading this. I just needed to get it out there to people who understand.

Thank you.
Mizzuno

EndGameNYC

You don't drink because you want to remain this way.

Mizzuno

Yes, I do not drink because I do want to remain good spirited. Also, I am an Alcoholic and I do not want to live in Alcoholism.

ZeldaFan

You didn't drink because you know you are a better person when not drinking. You are being who you are and know how to have fun without alcohol. Some people don't understand this idea so to them it seems weird when we say we don't drink. To them having fun and drinking go together (and heck, looking at how the media portrays it, it's no wonder why). If that's how she likes to have fun and doesn't grasp the idea of sober fun then that's her choice. Personally, I think your idea of a good time sounds far better

Kaneda8888

Mizzuno, perhaps the problem lies with her and not you. When I tell people that I don't drink (or that I've stopped), there is often an awkward silence. Then I get queried about it but after a while I realize that it's not about me but about them. They suddenly think of their drinking habits and feelings of guilt or inadequacy arise which they try to compensate by wanting you to drink.

Of course you can enjoy everything without drinking ! It's just heavily ingrained in western culture that many pleasurable activities are connected to drinking. Blame marketing and sponsorship for the confusion !

mecanix

To me who isn't an expert in anything , the first person sounds like an person who might have the seeds of a drinking problem. I say this becuase it was the kind of thing i used to say , infact i'd be worse thinking anyone who did'nt drink was utterly boring and dull .

The second person in the quote (you) sounds like they are quite sorted out about their relationship with alcohol

Bestwishes, m

Nuudawn

For me, it is a very odd thing for your co-worker to persist with. Not something I would've done in my drinking days. Saying you choose not to engage in something in simply a boundary....her pushing it is well...not such a cool thing and says something about her.

One thing I do know is ..in my drinking days, I would likely be uncomfortable hanging with someone (someone new especially without drinking). The compliment is this woman wants to be your friend and it is her own issue about you not drinking that is making it hard for her. She is actually being pretty darn petulant. She wants you to be her friend...her way and well, in her mind it may sadly be that she can't be your friend if you don't drink.

How very sad for her..and how very sad that she will miss out on the fine Miss Mizz

Louise82

I feel sorry for your co-worker and anyone else who thinks someone needs alcohol to be fun or that alcohol is the mark of a fun person or whatever. She obviously thinks alcohol plays a bigger part in the world than it does and that may well reflect on her own relationship with alcohol and its place in her life.

I can understand this weighing heavy on you though. But your rational thought is right. I'm also more fun without alcohol than with it.

LillianGish

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato

You are challenging your friend's paradigm as to alcohol. It's a good thing! Maybe she's too tight with alcohol herself and is struggling? There's likely something you don't know, and when you find out....it will make sense why she feels the way she does.

You have nothing to feel bad about!

mecanix

Oh and by the way if she has a problem or not , either way ... It isn't your problem and you should cary on being the best Mizz you can be , living in freedom , know what is yours' and what isn't yours' , don't pick up someone elses burden or let it upset your happiness

m

Mizzuno

Yes. I realized that I was taking on her stuff this evening. This is not mine to own. I guess what it came down to was the fact that we could not be " friends" without alcohol. So, I am slightly saddened. However, I have been there and I understand. Yes, what a bore to not drink. At least this is what I thought before my world came crashing down around me and my marriage. Such is life. I will carry on.

workoholic

Don't worry. You're fine sober. When I was drinking I sometimes went out with friends that didn't and as far as I remember I had fun and they atleast seemed to have fun (or as fun as they expected). If colleague finds it problematic it is her problem. Maybe she will change her mind?

lommey

Mizz how long hav you been sober? You seem so strong. I love your post

lorelei

Keep standing strong mizz xx

ImperfectlyMe

Perhaps it's weighing heavy in your mind because its causing you to look inward. Which for us can be extremely uncomfortable. But all the more reason to do it. I think your said response to the coworker was brilliant. And I bet you are a lot if fun when sober! Put a smile on that face! You've got much better more entertaining things to do then sit at a bar with co workers! Ie hang out on SR

Natom

A lot of people at my workplace also say stuff in the same vain although it's normally 'You're so crazy, are you drunk?'....'No you say? Why don't you drink?'. Initially I just said I didn't drink and no-one really questioned it. I guess it's kinda the same as questioning someones beliefs. It's a life choice. It's my way of life. After a while I started letting friends at work know why I didn't. It made things a bit easier in some respects. I became the sober wingman. The designated driver. The voice of reason in drunken disputes. I got to go out and enjoy myself with people who knew I didn't drink. As a result I had more fun.

Natom.

Tamerua

Bingo. I don't know about you, but when I drank, I thought people who didn't were boring and stuffy. I now realize i thought that way because I knew they couldn't ever approve of the way that I drank.

Tang

I had my customer, who I'm obligated to entertain, say that to me. In my line of work my not drinking will be blamed on losing the sale.

wakko

Hind site is always 20 20. The appropriate response could have been, " I am a ton of fun but I just prefer to be fun and not drink. I just do not need alcohol to make me somebody that I am NOT."

Anna

Miz, I think you will find that you will be grateful to not be friends with this person. For her, the drinking is the important part, the actual friendship sounds much less significant. Move on and consider yourself lucky.

Btw, I am SO with you on not needing to offer any reason being 'No thanks'. It is nobody's business by yours.