Old 09-20-2013, 04:12 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ottawa, canada
Posts: 28

It is day 4 , I am finding it extremely difficult, I have gone to AA meetings in the past, but always feel like I don't fit in. I am a newly single woman who doesn't have any friends whatsoever so this it a very lonely time in my life. I have had a lot of rejection in my life, some of it deserved but not all . I have reached out to woman I know but always seem to be faced with rejection. I am a very friendly outgoing person and most don't even know about my drinking problem. I spent time in rehab as well , didn't seem to fit in there either. I realized that the rejection maybe what has driven the alcoholism all of my life. I stay home drink alone and don't have to deal with the emotions. I am of mixed race , very attractive so I am told and extremely fix. I just don't understand why I am having such a difficult time connecting with people.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:14 PM
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I'm so sorry you are hurting. It will grit better with time, I know that doesn't help much now. Keep posting here, lots of experience on this site.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:18 PM
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bona fido dog-lover
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Location: SF Bay area, CA
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Early recovery can be a very emotional time. Our feelings are all over the place while our brain and body heal from the alcohol abuse. Don't let the loneliness drive you back to drinking.

Can you do some volunteer work where you live? That's a good way to meet people and give something back to the community. It also gets you 'out of yourself' and into activities.

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:34 PM
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*hugs* I know how you feel. A good amount of my friends it seems, all they do is party. The ones that don't are married or with kids now. You just gotta stay strong and know things will change once you are feeling great again. I'm on Day 4 as well. I had almost a month 5 days ago. It's not worth the drink.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:45 PM
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Location: Australia
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Hang in there and just show up- maybe an all women meeting is available.

I think understanding and coming to grips with emotions and relationships comes with time. Now is a time to be gentle with yourself- the journey has begun and there are always learnings along the way

Posting a lot on SR really helped me in the early days
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Old 08-26-2014, 10:09 AM
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Do your best
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Newcomers will relate to this
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Old 08-26-2014, 10:23 AM
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I thought I was outgoing, social and comfortable with people. When I got sober, I saw, for the first time, it wasn't the case!

I would take an honest look at the feeling of rejection. Are people really rejecting you or is it a protective reaction? Its very hard to trust people, so I can understand that sometimes we might want to believe in the self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection.

My profile was not feeling rejected so much as feeling used. I was a victim, that was my profile as an alcoholic. I would go out of my way to make sure that I put myself in a position to be victimized, or, as it usually happened, feel that I was being victimized.

I would suggest trying to make friends in a way that will bypass rejection, or that feeling of rejection. Involving yourself in a club or organization is a great way to interact with people without the pressure of inviting them into your life. You can bypass the stress of trying to define someone as a friend: just work on the club projects together and the friendships will bloom or not bloom, independently of your efforts.
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Old 08-26-2014, 10:37 AM
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Do your best
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Rebumped thread for newcomers
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Old 08-26-2014, 12:19 PM
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In March is when I began recovery..alone.I didnt get into my IOP group until June 26th.Other than going there, Im all alone..I done have support really, my whole family are addict, and their all in denial and dont understand what Im going through.Its really hard at times.I also have bad anxiety which makes it harder.Inn my IOP group, I dont talk much.I dont have friends, because i had to break ties with them, Theyre still in active addiction..Just feel very alone, it sucks!!
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Old 08-26-2014, 02:02 PM
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Hang in there! The early weeks and months of recovery are like a storm raging in your heart and mind. It's really chaotic. Things will settle down with time.
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Old 08-26-2014, 02:08 PM
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Hey guys, this is a thread from Sept 2013, I hope Sleepless is doing well!!
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Old 08-26-2014, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
Hey guys, this is a thread from Sept 2009, I hope Sleepless is doing well!!
Wow, so - if I post can I change my sobriety date BACK to 2009!!! That'd be awesome....

I think based on my tenure now I will have some really, really good input.

Lonely is an issue for me as well in new sobriety. It was in old drunk not sobriety as well.....However, I am pleased to say I don't talk to the dog as much in sobriety. She seems to be happier for this, so there's that...
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