I need help...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Dayton Ohio
Posts: 2
I need help...
Hello my name is Ashes and I am a heroin addict. I need help. Because if I don't get it I'm going to die, and for the first time in a long time I want to live. My girlfriend was recently sentenced to 20 months in prison for her first drug case steeming from an analysis of a syringe she was caught with back in January around the time I started using when we were both living in a homeless shelter, before we ever got together. I want a life with her and she wants to stay clean when she gets out of prison.
I suck at shooting up and tend to hurt myself when I do it. Since she went to prison I fave myself an abscess that I lanced myself. I can't eat. I've long suffered from depression and have spent most of my life trying to kill myself. My left arm looks like it was taken from Frankenstein. 4 years ago I slit my wrists, more accurately hacked I hit by artery and spliced the vien and somehow developed hypothermia and stopped bleeding the er doctor told me he had never seen or heard of anyone with my injuries who didn't bleed out, and climbed into a dumpster so I could be taken to the landfill with the rest of the garbage. No one can say I didn't try.
I got a letter from her yesterday. And I have to find a way to stop. I have to. I don't have anyone but her. I don't leave my house except to cop and I don't engage in social behavior. I have trust issue. I want a life with her, I want a family with her... I want to be clean for her and with her when she comes home to me so we can have the life we talked about. No one knows except my dealer that I'm an addict. And to complicate everything I have recent brain damage from some crackhead mf who mistook my house for the house next door where the dealers live and tried to rob us. My girl tried to protect me when we walked in on him and he hit her with a brick in the head. She got it away from him somehow and kept it away from him but he wouldn't stay off her and I tried to help her and he beat me so badly before I was able to throw him out the back door that he broke my left eye socket in 2 places and caused a massive hemirage in my brain. So yea I need help and someone to talk to... I'm afraid in going to overdose or
otherwise cause by death while she's in prison and I'm all she has too. So this is really hard.
I suck at shooting up and tend to hurt myself when I do it. Since she went to prison I fave myself an abscess that I lanced myself. I can't eat. I've long suffered from depression and have spent most of my life trying to kill myself. My left arm looks like it was taken from Frankenstein. 4 years ago I slit my wrists, more accurately hacked I hit by artery and spliced the vien and somehow developed hypothermia and stopped bleeding the er doctor told me he had never seen or heard of anyone with my injuries who didn't bleed out, and climbed into a dumpster so I could be taken to the landfill with the rest of the garbage. No one can say I didn't try.
I got a letter from her yesterday. And I have to find a way to stop. I have to. I don't have anyone but her. I don't leave my house except to cop and I don't engage in social behavior. I have trust issue. I want a life with her, I want a family with her... I want to be clean for her and with her when she comes home to me so we can have the life we talked about. No one knows except my dealer that I'm an addict. And to complicate everything I have recent brain damage from some crackhead mf who mistook my house for the house next door where the dealers live and tried to rob us. My girl tried to protect me when we walked in on him and he hit her with a brick in the head. She got it away from him somehow and kept it away from him but he wouldn't stay off her and I tried to help her and he beat me so badly before I was able to throw him out the back door that he broke my left eye socket in 2 places and caused a massive hemirage in my brain. So yea I need help and someone to talk to... I'm afraid in going to overdose or
otherwise cause by death while she's in prison and I'm all she has too. So this is really hard.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
I feel your pain, man... kicking is hard but not fatal.... takes about three days to kick... don't know if you've kicked before, but its called kicking because of the shakes and well, the involuntary kicking - but you only have to go through it once. You can do it alone if you want or go check into a hospital to get through the worst of it. Keep reading these threads - keeping reaching out - you can do it... peace
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Hey I just want to extend my hand and welcome you - I think it might help you to speak to a professional for advise on kicking? Could you do that?
You've made a really big step admitting that you want help - we will all help you any way we can but you need to try and get some sort of medical help first ok? This is possible and you can do it and have that nice life you want with your girl - it's yours for taking but you need to deal with your health first. I hope you keep posting and reading.
You've made a really big step admitting that you want help - we will all help you any way we can but you need to try and get some sort of medical help first ok? This is possible and you can do it and have that nice life you want with your girl - it's yours for taking but you need to deal with your health first. I hope you keep posting and reading.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
BTW, the "kicking" can be eliminated by drinking lots of water, but also taking electrolyte tablets (not the drink-they don't do enough to help ). Go to WholeFoods and get, I think it is "Country Life) and get the combination: Calcium, Magnesium and Potassium. They are all needed and in combination. It is a vitamin combo, and, together with lots of water is a great help.
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