Anna

Staying sober and recovering is the only thing that matters. You know from being here that there are many paths to recovery.

AlefVavResh

Funny how we see ourselves. Phony didn't even come to mind. You are a beautiful woman and a beautiful person and just as guarded as I was at my first meeting. Everyone in that room has put on the mask. I've been going there for two weeks and I've only shared from a very superficial level. Always smiling. I figure I just have to chip away at that block one sliver of ice at a time.

Something you said in one of your other threads "a meeting won't make me love myself" had me thinking. It's true that even if you began to feel that everyone in the room loved you, that wouldn't make you love you. . . But I realized something. Listening to people who have learned to love themselves or who are awakening in that learning to love themselves state, opens a door for self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and eventually the ability to love yourself for who you are.

I truly hope to see you again there, but I promised that I would not pressure you, so this is my last word on the subject. . . Thank you. I had not intended to go today, and afterwords I felt like I was meant to be there. . . . Thank you also for not stopping at the liquor store. I can't control your behavior, but I would have felt a little responsible.

wakko

Any sober day is a good day. Dont quit before the miracle happens.

lorelei

If you were remotely phoney toomutch, you wouldn't be here opening your heart, you may be scared but you aren't at all false, you will get better, be strong xx

Bebetter

I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing my painful moments with strangers upon meeting them for the first time either. Have you thought about maybe seeing a psychologist who has experience with addiction? The first time I got sober for awhile, I worked with a therapist and that was really, really helpful. I use many of the same techniques he taught me this time around, and any time I'm feeling out of sorts.

phoebe64

Toomuch, It is only natural to be guarded and polite upon first meeting and entering any new group. Just because it is AA does not mean you have to immediately trust everyone and feel comfortable. That will come with time, and from what I have heard from others, sometimes it takes looking into other meetings as well. Or, as suggested, maybe a therapist or counselor would be better too.

I have been reading your posts, and rooting for you. I am in awe of your previous periods of sobriety and I am sure you will find it again, You know how to do this, right? I know you do. One awkward meeting does not mean it was of no use. You took a risk, a chance, a step forward to get well.

Ro-

neferkamichael

Toomutch, got a 24 hour chip, you are FANTASTIC. I like it here better than in an AA meeting too. Rootin for ya.