Acheleus

Every day I wake up with no energy, a sore body, and a tired head. 12 days sober and I feel like my life is over. I live in a town with so many people but I have no friends and people at my school do not look at me or talk to me.

I hate my life and that is why I drink. I do not want to relapse.

least

You are very early in recovery so that's why you're feeling so up and down and rotten. Give yourself time and good healthy treatment and things should smooth out. Keep at it, it gets better.

foolsgold66

Sore? Now hang on a minute. Is your bedding a giant mess? Maybe you have some serious sleep issues.

pinkdog

Dear Acheleus, well done. It is still early sobriety for you. It will get better. You will regain your energy and feel better. Exercise, eat healthy food and drink lots of water. It will happen. Love to you dear.

ScottFromWI

You are still very early in sobriety Ach. And you already know how to combat the "I hate myself, I have no friends, life sucks" bit - you have been doing it every day for the last 12 days. Get out there, go to your classes, take a walk, get some ice cream - you know you are stronger than the bad feelings.

lorelei

Hey ach,

Such early days for us, so the body has lots of healing to do, this is how it manifests itself, in your physical symptoms.


Its a horrible feeling to feel alone in a crowd, could you perhaps just get to know a small group at first...


Try and be gentle with you, drinking will make you feel worse at this point and not drinking will eventually manifest itself as the best thing to do, just got to get thro this tough bit xx

Acheleus

Getting water and going to work on paper. I feel bad at school bc I look older than everyone from drinking and smoking for years. The people there really do not like me, but I do not care. They all know I am a drunk. I will just focus on getting myself better.

Acheleus

I moved back to my home state. My grandparents killed themselves here, my mom went to prison for years, and my father lost everything he owned to embezzlement by one of his employees. I wish I had never returned here, but I can leave in a few months. It was just stupid for me to come here.

firstymer

Hey, Ach. I just re-read the thread that you posted about the healing of the brain after you quit drinking. And the YouTube video you posted showing the 30 Reasons to Quit Drinking. I found both to be very encouraging and helpful. Stay strong. Whatever problems we have are profoundly worsened by us being drunk. Your own posts have helped to convince me of that. Good luck.

13unluckyforsom

Yknow all these things are not you though - as hard and horrible as they are for you to be faced with - they do not define you - if people judge you because of your family then in my eyes their not friends worth having.

I don't know what people see when they look at you - I don't think it matters so much what someone looks like - beauty is an inside thing - it's not a pretty face or nice clothes its an aura - I can actually say honestly that its a rare thing. I know 2people who are truly beautiful.

You know like a butterfly starts out a caterpillar - ugly - a creepy crawly - that's us just now and we are going into our cocoons to transform hopefully after some time we will emerge as beautiful as butterflies

Or




Something like that lol

13unluckyforsom

Got a wee song for you - it's by a band called sugarland and the songs called 'fall into me' someone 'gave' me this song a while ago. It said something between us then but anyway apart from that - its a lovely wee song and maybe it will comfort you. It did me.

13unluckyforsom

Here's the words to it.. Can't find a link that will let me post via mobile but YouTube it when you can

13unluckyforsom

When the weight of the world Breaks down so strong it Leaves footprints on the street And theres too many miles to face Without a few more hours sleep The storm clouds overhead won't shed Any rain to quench your thirst I wanna be the one you reach for first When your faith is stretched so thin That you can see right through your soul And you cant find a nickel to buy a smile cuz all ur pockets all got holes You wanna shut the door and Hide before the day can get much worse I wanna be the one you reach for first Fall into me My arms are opened wide And you dont have to say a word Cuz I already see That it's hard And you're scared And you're tired And it hurts And I wanna be the one you reach for first I wanna be the bottle you've been drinkin with your eyes Or the road you run away on You've been runnin all your life The third row pew that you last knew As a child in church I wanna be the one you reach for first Fall into me My arms are opened wide And you don't have to say a word Cuz I already see That it's hard And you're scared And you're tired And it hurts And I wanna be the one you reach for first Before you turn the key Before you fall asleep Before you drift away To find some demons waiting for you In your dreams Before your arms stretched wide open Before you're reaching for the sky Before you're searching for direction And all the answers till you fall Fall into me My arms are stretched opened wide You don't have to say a word Cuz I already see That its hard And your scared And your tired And it hurts And i wanna be the one you reach for first

duane1

Just get some sober time under you. Things will get better, but it takes some time.

Mizzuno

Acheleus. What purpose does this tape of "Bad stuff" that is being played on repeat serve you? Your head is getting in the way of all the things that are beautiful about life. Keep walking forward, breath in the air, smile, go for a hike, listen to music, be happy. Happiness is a verb- Convey an action. Go and do something that will let the light shine through. You can do this A.

Mentium

Knackered, lacking in energy, low and flat here too at 24 days. That's because I drank for so long, not because a drink will fix anything!

Let's stick it out OK!?

Leshar

Hello Acheleus,

Fatigue and body aches aren't fun, I understand, I have arthritis. If you haven't already given it a try, I'd recommend yoga. I find it very helpful to deal with aches, and it does improve posture and flexibility and confidence too, as you learn to stand tall and project yourself with more ease. The mindfullness/ meditation part is very helpful too, I find, on this recovery journey.

You say ppl don't like you, but you don't care. Perhaps, as I think I mentioned before, you're projecting a "don't come near me" kind of aura, which ppl do pick up on, even though paradoxically, you are desperate for belonging and connectedness. Making friendships isn't easy, I'm dealing with this myself. I do find yoga is helping just by making me aware where I may be holding tension in my body, and letting it go, and I'm able to better relax my facial muscles, so I appear ( I hope!) open and approachable, instead of projecting a tense, somewhat angry, bitter, and sometimes sad countenance which I do think I was doing.

Wishing you well, stay strong!

ScottFromWI

You can be whomever you want, wherever you are Ach. All of those things happened in the past, and for the most part they will be memories you will have no matter where you live. You can't "Move away" from your brain. Many of us tried to by drinking it into submission, but it always comes back.

You've posted a lot of profoud statements in the past couple of weeks about how you see yourself getting better, getting over obstacles that you couldn't have or didn't even a few weeks ago. Go back and read them to see that it's 100% possible to overcome them. Make sure to keep in touch with your doc/counselor...and stay on the meds they have prescribed.

Acheleus

Yes I should live my own life and I have found that writing about the negative things helps me deal with them. I want to catch up on some sleep. My classmates are meeting for social hour at a bar, I wish they were meeting at a park or something, I cannot go in a bar.

Mizzuno I will go for a walk and do some laundry.

I wish I did not give off the leave me alone vibe but I know I do, not sure why that is, I guess I get envious when I see other people who seem happy and full of energy and zest or whatever. I do feel good not being hungover today.

aasharon90

Many of my friends and family may have
said, why in the hell would you want to
stay in Baton Rouge when Houston has
so much to offer, so many opportunities
available.

I was born and raised here and Baton Rouge
was, is, will always be my hometown. Yes, I
did relocated with my little married family to
give our 2 kids more opportunites to grow
and experience in Houston yrs. ago. However,
it wasn't for me. The entire time I was there,
I made the best of it to the best of my sober
ability, but was so homesick.

Homesick for my family of orgin you ask. Hell,
no..!!!! My little bit of friends I had. Hell no..!!!

However, because Baton Rouge is where I
got sober 23 yrs. ago, I left for Houston leaving
behind my AA support and AA Family. Many
of them..!!!

I went to meetings in Houston and made a
couple recovery friends, but it just never
filled in the void I had for my hometown.

Eventually, my kids grew and went on to live
happy, healthy adult lives and I was blessed
and giving the most awesome gift of returning
back to Baton Rouge in 2006. I divorced and
both my exspouse and I remarried.

Why the hell would I want to live here in Baton
Rouge after living an abusive childhood at the
hand of a sick mother, who verbally, physically,
emotionally tried to destroy me due to her own
illness. Why would I want to return after having
a horrible school experience with kids that were
mean and hated me.

It was taught to me to treat others the way
ud want to be treated and I tried to all to the
best of my ability, but others didn't care.

Anyway.....Im here in Baton Rouge for me.
Not my famly. Not those so called friends
I thought I had. Im here because I want to
be here. I love my hometown and the house
I can finally call home.

My recovery life is built on strong steps and
principles I practice in my everyday life all
to the best of my ability. Today, I don't let
anyone dictate my life for me except for the
guidance and strength from Above.

I live for me as I continue passing on my
own ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
with others still struggling with addiction.

And my family of orgin is not apart of my life
today so that I can continue to live a happier,
healthier, sober life for yrs. to come.

Take care of you, your recovery, your life
because you are worth it.