3 days clean after 10 years drunk every night
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by silentrun 
What is rock bottom anyway? When I went to a doctor for something else years ago I mentioned I was a heavy drinker and wondered if he would prescribe me antibuse so I could take drinking off the table he said "would you even take it?" Shocked! Somebody is realizing that their drinking is becoming a problem and basically turned away.
Your posts sounds like your "rock bottom" is like mine and many others who I have seen get well on here. Finally coming to the point where you know you can't go any further down this road. The people that I know that are still abusing would deny vehemently that they need to stop not ask for help.
Your posts sounds like your "rock bottom" is like mine and many others who I have seen get well on here. Finally coming to the point where you know you can't go any further down this road. The people that I know that are still abusing would deny vehemently that they need to stop not ask for help.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Welome to SR,
Perhaps the doctor has seen so many cases of alcoholism that he has become cynical.
Do you really think your family don't know about the extent of your drinking?
You have taken the first step and realized that you need to stop. That is a big step.
I am into my third year sober and I had my last real craving 6 months into sobriety.
I wish you all the best in sobriety. keep posting and reading
CaiHong
Perhaps the doctor has seen so many cases of alcoholism that he has become cynical.
Do you really think your family don't know about the extent of your drinking?
You have taken the first step and realized that you need to stop. That is a big step.
I am into my third year sober and I had my last real craving 6 months into sobriety.
I wish you all the best in sobriety. keep posting and reading
CaiHong
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Welcome Autan....The first time I tried to quit I also went to the doctor....I told her I was drinking 20+ pints of lager a day and all she said was I should learn to moderate....Lol I told her that I couldn't as I don't have an off switch and she just said she couldn't do anything for me.....In the end after a couple of slips I went it alone and now I'm nearly 10 months sober.....Keep at it....It does get easier.......Steve.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Day 4 with out a drink. I made it through a tough night. The AV has gone for now.
I started drinking regularly that is to say at home every back in 1998, I remember it clearly because I had just split up with my then girlfriend and asked a friend of mine if he wanted to go out. He couldnt because of work commitments, so I went to the supermarket and got a bottle of red wine. I remember settling back in a comfy chair, with the rain and wind outside hitting the windows, thinking to myself, I dont want to go out in this. I have a nice glass of wine, listen to some music and then go to bed.
The glass of wine, turned in to 2 glasses and eventually the whole bottle was gone. I picked myself up off the chair and went to bed.
The next day I had a hangover, so I took some paracetamol and it went away. That night, I went to supermarket again and bought 4 cans of beer, repeating the routine by sitting in a comfy chair and listening to music, watching TV, this became my new girlfriend.
I did meet someone, who I am married, she often said your a drinking man, but I always managed to disguise to the extreme extent to my drinking.
Up until my sobriety, I could go and drink a bottle of wine in an hour, go to the medicine cabinet and using corsydll mouthwash sit and talk to her. I knew she couldn't tell I had been drinking. I had become so good at disguising my outward signs of drunkenness.
A few month ago, I just couldn't get enough of the booze and decided to drive while drunk to get more. I was pulled over by the police because I went straight through a giveway sign. I pulled off an oscar winning performance and was not breathalized, they couldnt tell how drunk I was or I would of been for the high jump.
My drinking was out of control and I knew it. No body around me could tell, because I spent time masking my behaviour and covering my tracks.
Last week, I had just had enough as explained in an earlier post. Last night was a tough one, but coming on here helped and I did not pick up a drink. Listening to other fight the same battle, gives me strength too, like were brothers and sisters in arms fighting a common enemy, sometimes winning and sometimes losing but there are enough of us to keep the enemy at bay.
I started drinking regularly that is to say at home every back in 1998, I remember it clearly because I had just split up with my then girlfriend and asked a friend of mine if he wanted to go out. He couldnt because of work commitments, so I went to the supermarket and got a bottle of red wine. I remember settling back in a comfy chair, with the rain and wind outside hitting the windows, thinking to myself, I dont want to go out in this. I have a nice glass of wine, listen to some music and then go to bed.
The glass of wine, turned in to 2 glasses and eventually the whole bottle was gone. I picked myself up off the chair and went to bed.
The next day I had a hangover, so I took some paracetamol and it went away. That night, I went to supermarket again and bought 4 cans of beer, repeating the routine by sitting in a comfy chair and listening to music, watching TV, this became my new girlfriend.
I did meet someone, who I am married, she often said your a drinking man, but I always managed to disguise to the extreme extent to my drinking.
Up until my sobriety, I could go and drink a bottle of wine in an hour, go to the medicine cabinet and using corsydll mouthwash sit and talk to her. I knew she couldn't tell I had been drinking. I had become so good at disguising my outward signs of drunkenness.
A few month ago, I just couldn't get enough of the booze and decided to drive while drunk to get more. I was pulled over by the police because I went straight through a giveway sign. I pulled off an oscar winning performance and was not breathalized, they couldnt tell how drunk I was or I would of been for the high jump.
My drinking was out of control and I knew it. No body around me could tell, because I spent time masking my behaviour and covering my tracks.
Last week, I had just had enough as explained in an earlier post. Last night was a tough one, but coming on here helped and I did not pick up a drink. Listening to other fight the same battle, gives me strength too, like were brothers and sisters in arms fighting a common enemy, sometimes winning and sometimes losing but there are enough of us to keep the enemy at bay.
Alcohol Free Member
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Originally Posted by stevie88
Welcome Autan....The first time I tried to quit I also went to the doctor....I told her I was drinking 20+ pints of lager a day and all she said was I should learn to moderate....Lol I told her that I couldn't as I don't have an off switch and she just said she couldn't do anything for me.....In the end after a couple of slips I went it alone and now I'm nearly 10 months sober.....Keep at it....It does get easier.......Steve.
This assumption that Doctors have that an alcoholic under the influence has the ability to say, I will stop after a single drink is laughable. I do not think they are trained to understand that we need a mouthful of beer or wine or whatever your poison is and for us, it is heaven. The chemical reactions in our brains tell us there is no better feeling that this and it is worth losing you Wife, Son, home, car money, job and even your freedom and liberty for.
We drink until we unconscious or very near to it, then we wake up and realised we have been lost everything and in pain. How do we deal with pain, by having another drink.
Tell me anyone, how do you moderate that. Impossible. Only abstinence, complete denial of service for alcohol can we start to rebuild our lives. If were looking we might be able as I hope I can do so, without anyone knowing in my world that I had a problem at all.
I dont want to smell a drink or touch a drink or drink a drink containing alcohol, and am even avoiding meals that contain alcohol.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by autan
I dont want to smell a drink or touch a drink or drink a drink containing alcohol, and am even avoiding meals that contain alcohol.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
I don't know how long I can remain sober ?
My demons come late afternoon and evening. 4 days in and finding today difficult.
I feel trapped between wanting a drink and not wanting a drink. This will be the final post from today. I need to take my mind away from trying not to drink and devote all my powers and attention on actually refraining from picking up that first drink.
Sorry everyone.
My demons come late afternoon and evening. 4 days in and finding today difficult.
I feel trapped between wanting a drink and not wanting a drink. This will be the final post from today. I need to take my mind away from trying not to drink and devote all my powers and attention on actually refraining from picking up that first drink.
Sorry everyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Originally Posted by autan
I don't know how long I can remain sober ?
My demons come late afternoon and evening. 4 days in and finding today difficult.
I feel trapped between wanting a drink and not wanting a drink. This will be the final post from today. I need to take my mind away from trying not to drink and devote all my powers and attention on actually refraining from picking up that first drink.
Sorry everyone.
My demons come late afternoon and evening. 4 days in and finding today difficult.
I feel trapped between wanting a drink and not wanting a drink. This will be the final post from today. I need to take my mind away from trying not to drink and devote all my powers and attention on actually refraining from picking up that first drink.
Sorry everyone.
but likewise if you want to have a moan up then go for it - we all need to get things out someway. So don't worry about posting here we all are in the same boat.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 4
My suggestion, do something constructive that will make you feel good upon completion. Perhaps something you have been putting off. Clean house, organize kitchen, yard work? maybe clean your car, go for a run. The payoff is better. And when you are done, you will feel doubly satisfied. Just a suggestion. Every day you make it drink free, you will feel more empowered, and there will be more to lose if you pick up a drink. Just please keep at it. You are facing the toughest day today. It WILL get better!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
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I was going to write a post moaning about my life, why has this happened to me. How did I end up being a addict to alcohol. Then I thought to myself, for 4 days I have been NOT sick in the mornings. For 4 days I havent been hiding bottles behind bookcases and under stairs in shoe boxes (really) and disposing of them when everyones out.
For 4 days I havent spent a penny on alcohol. For 4 days I have not had to wash my mouth out with loads of mouthwash to disguise the smell of alcohol. For 4 days I have can drive, without being over the drink drive limit putting myself, my family and everyone else in danger at my selfishness. For 4 days I have been free from the effects and after effects of not drinking.
Yes its hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have had it easy all my life. I going to stop obsessing and going to clean the house, make sure theirs no empty bottles I have missed. Wash the dishes, go to the gym and come home and drink as much Chinese Tea as I can. I will make it to day 5.
Thank you for your encouragement, I am being an ******* and need give my self a talking to.
For 4 days I havent spent a penny on alcohol. For 4 days I have not had to wash my mouth out with loads of mouthwash to disguise the smell of alcohol. For 4 days I have can drive, without being over the drink drive limit putting myself, my family and everyone else in danger at my selfishness. For 4 days I have been free from the effects and after effects of not drinking.
Yes its hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have had it easy all my life. I going to stop obsessing and going to clean the house, make sure theirs no empty bottles I have missed. Wash the dishes, go to the gym and come home and drink as much Chinese Tea as I can. I will make it to day 5.
Thank you for your encouragement, I am being an ******* and need give my self a talking to.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Well when you put it like that..... Lol
That's fighting talk well done and every positive thing you listed there and the relaxation and freedom mentally and physically speaking can be yours to keep and yours to appreciate for as long as you don't drink.
Nothing good ever comes out a bottle - you may have momentary pleasure but its not even REAL pleasure lol it's fake! And once that state passes its on to anger, hurt, self pity, arguing, fighting, being nasty, crying, being sick, being tired, blacking out, and that's only while your drunk - then there's the next day shakes, sobering up, guilt, anxiety, worry, stress, more sickness, headaches, lies etc and so it goes on until you end up at your wits end with it all...
Your doing really well and I think you have a good plan tonight - you can do this.
That's fighting talk
well done and every positive thing you listed there and the relaxation and freedom mentally and physically speaking can be yours to keep and yours to appreciate for as long as you don't drink. Nothing good ever comes out a bottle - you may have momentary pleasure but its not even REAL pleasure lol it's fake! And once that state passes its on to anger, hurt, self pity, arguing, fighting, being nasty, crying, being sick, being tired, blacking out, and that's only while your drunk - then there's the next day shakes, sobering up, guilt, anxiety, worry, stress, more sickness, headaches, lies etc and so it goes on until you end up at your wits end with it all...
Your doing really well and I think you have a good plan tonight - you can do this.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
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Autan welcome to sober recovery this is a great place and people will help you. Our story sounds very similar I'm still finding bottles that I hid and forgot about. Good luck to you and make a plan
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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I'm drinking my Chinese Tea like theres no tomorrow, so far not picked up a drink. House is spotless, found a bottle of Jaegermeister, I dont even remember drinking that, so that years ago. Found it hidden under the kitchen sink. Empty of course.
I think going the gym helped, changed the scene.
These damn craving come on so strong in the afternoon and evenings, today was very close. In fact closer than I care to admit. I held the line though, I tried to imagine taking that first drink, then feeling sorry for myself, thinking well I have had one, I might as well finish the bottle. Then I imagined being sick and having a hangover. Then I tried to imagine saying to myself that I need to quit drinking and then coming on here starting day one again.
I meditated and went through all the emotions and scenarios in my head, by the time I finished I went to the gym and have just come back and made myself a cup of chinese jasmine tea, which seems to help and eating lots of nuts for Vit B.
Not touched a drop in 4 days of alcohol, but these 4 days have been tough.
I think going the gym helped, changed the scene.
These damn craving come on so strong in the afternoon and evenings, today was very close. In fact closer than I care to admit. I held the line though, I tried to imagine taking that first drink, then feeling sorry for myself, thinking well I have had one, I might as well finish the bottle. Then I imagined being sick and having a hangover. Then I tried to imagine saying to myself that I need to quit drinking and then coming on here starting day one again.
I meditated and went through all the emotions and scenarios in my head, by the time I finished I went to the gym and have just come back and made myself a cup of chinese jasmine tea, which seems to help and eating lots of nuts for Vit B.
Not touched a drop in 4 days of alcohol, but these 4 days have been tough.
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autan, welcome to sr and big congrats on 5 days!!! you sound a lot like me. i hid my problem from my partner for years, my work never found out i had a problem. that was quite a feat, because i'm ashamed to admit i work with the public and i was far from sober every work day. i also was pulled over once, and miraculously avoided the breath test. that would have spelled the end of my job right there. I've been sober almost 7 months, and found an old forgotten empty just last month that i had hidden. hopefully you are finding some kindred souls here, a lot of our stories intertwine.
it sounds like it's getting a little harder for you every day to avoid drinking. have you considered either talking to another doctor, getting in some counseling, or attending AA?
you are doing great, better than I did that's for sure. but none of us can stay sober on our tenacity and will alone. i'm so glad you are getting help here, sr is awesome. but I for one needed more than sr at the very beginning. good luck to you!
it sounds like it's getting a little harder for you every day to avoid drinking. have you considered either talking to another doctor, getting in some counseling, or attending AA?
you are doing great, better than I did that's for sure. but none of us can stay sober on our tenacity and will alone. i'm so glad you are getting help here, sr is awesome. but I for one needed more than sr at the very beginning. good luck to you!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Originally Posted by wehav2day
autan, welcome to sr and big congrats on 5 days!!! you sound a lot like me. i hid my problem from my partner for years, my work never found out i had a problem. that was quite a feat, because i'm ashamed to admit i work with the public and i was far from sober every work day. i also was pulled over once, and miraculously avoided the breath test. that would have spelled the end of my job right there. I've been sober almost 7 months, and found an old forgotten empty just last month that i had hidden. hopefully you are finding some kindred souls here, a lot of our stories intertwine.
it sounds like it's getting a little harder for you every day to avoid drinking. have you considered either talking to another doctor, getting in some counseling, or attending AA?
you are doing great, better than I did that's for sure. but none of us can stay sober on our tenacity and will alone. i'm so glad you are getting help here, sr is awesome. but I for one needed more than sr at the very beginning. good luck to you!
it sounds like it's getting a little harder for you every day to avoid drinking. have you considered either talking to another doctor, getting in some counseling, or attending AA?
you are doing great, better than I did that's for sure. but none of us can stay sober on our tenacity and will alone. i'm so glad you are getting help here, sr is awesome. but I for one needed more than sr at the very beginning. good luck to you!
I cannot drink and I cannot access professional help. I am determined to beat my addiction to alcohol through daily abstinence in the hope the cravings diminish and I enjoy my life alcohol free.
I am aware of the consequences of my actions, if I fail, I will have to keep trying. I am resolved not to fail. This resolve has brought me through the past 4 days, I just hope its enough. The weekends coming and I know the demons will come tomorrow again.
I am just refusing to pick up that first drink. Thats all I can focus on right now.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I have hidden my past from everyone that knows me and I am afraid this if I go to AA that this will be uncovered and I will lose what I have.
I did not use AA to get or stay sober but I think it's important to keep an open mind - sometimes we may need a little outside help and/or support - and sometimes that may necessitate letting the mask slip.
I did, and I'm glad I reached out - I may not be here now otherwise
D
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Checking in:
Day 5 of sobriety. I have not touched a drop of alcohol since Sunday.
I woke up this morning feeling really refreshed and motivated. I havent felt this good in decades.
Its worth not drinking to feel like this every morning. Is this the new me, oh I hope so.
Yippeee
Day 5 of sobriety. I have not touched a drop of alcohol since Sunday.
I woke up this morning feeling really refreshed and motivated. I havent felt this good in decades.
Its worth not drinking to feel like this every morning. Is this the new me, oh I hope so.
Yippeee
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 4
Told you that you were over the hump. Working on Day 7 now myself. It keeps getting better... Not feeling completely dehydrated feels as though I have stepped out of an old shell, and into a new body. Glad you have made it this far. Make it past the weekend, and one week will be complete. Just keep building on it! Have a fun sober weekend!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Autum,
good for you for keeping strong. If you don't want to go to an AA meeting perhaps you could read the book and read about the 12 step program.
AA is helping me stay sober and lots more. I don't make many meetings because of where I am located now. But I go on the AA forum on this website.
Anything that can give you support in sobriety look into. This is so important.
There is a time and space where there is no craving.
CaiHong
good for you for keeping strong. If you don't want to go to an AA meeting perhaps you could read the book and read about the 12 step program.
AA is helping me stay sober and lots more. I don't make many meetings because of where I am located now. But I go on the AA forum on this website.
Anything that can give you support in sobriety look into. This is so important.
There is a time and space where there is no craving.
CaiHong
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