FourSeasons

Just curious... I was scared because I could not imagine a life without it. I still can't imagine it with only 4 weeks under my belt.

However, I am terrified to ever go back to the way I was albeit a mere 4 weeks ago...

seahorse661

I thought without it I would be in continual, unbearable emotional pain

choublak

Because it means change.

13unluckyforsom

It's not being able to - or thinking that you won't be able to get that release ever again. I'm questioning this though because I don't think I ever got any relief from drinking - I think if I was sad I just ended up sadder. Mad = madder etc its like spilling juice and not having enough cloth to soak it up - you just swish it about a bit and get nowhere - the mess is still there only swished up a bit.

pinkdog

Hi Four, great job! Quitting is a major lifechange for most of us. People fear change. Changing from the familiar habits. I got to the point that I feared staying the same. I embraced the change because I knew it would be an improvement. Sobriety is amazing. Take it as it comes. To me, it's a process. Sobriety gets better. It becomes joyful and sweeter the longer you have it. You are doing great. You can do this friend.

alphaomega

I hear you. The very thought of taking an actual sip now genuinely frightens me 6 weeks later.

Congrats on the 4 weeks and keep on keeping on.

Serenity1972

I was scared because I didn't want to deal with life on life's terms. I wanted to deal with it on my terms and if that meant getting drunk than that is what I did. I now realize that life still goes on no matter if we are wasted or not. The world doesn't stop for us. It keeps turning. I just choose to not drink today and live life on life's terms.

gatorgirl67

Good questoin Four! I'm working through this right now on Day 2 for first "real" time. I don't feel scared, but I think it's easier to stay the same, as bad as it is, than make a change to the unknown of full sobriety.

Mentium

I don't know about 'scared'. The damned stuff is addictive. It doesn't want toy to give it up!

duane1

I think I was scared of the unknown. It had been so many years since I was sober that I had grown used to the comfort it seemed to provide me. It sort of became my best and closest friend. I can only relate it to what Gollum thought of the ring in Lord of the Rings. The ring is essentially what booze became to me. I cared about it more than life or family.

Hypocritical

I just plain miss it. After a rough day at work it was a numbing relief. On weekends...it was just fun. Alcohol is/was part of who I am.

Dono