Realisation.
 

Today so far has been a great day for me mentally. I am actually taking great pleasure in household chores and doing stuff for my family and feeling good that its not just all about me and how i'm feeling. The drinking days seem so selfish to me now when I look at them and I just couldn't see that I was leaving everything that needs doing to my poor wife who was suffering in her own personal hell with the fact that she wanted me to stop drinking so much and in her mind it was starting to look like it would never happen and the poor women just got on with it. How UNFAIR! was that. I had no idea until now the extent and misery that my drinking caused to the running of everyday life and how those things can break a marriage. Such small things like never doing the dishes etc after a long long time do have an impact on the person having to do everything, while the drunk person just sits and drinks all the time. I feel ashamed of my selfish past and I also feel extremely proud that im sitting here on day 34!! writing this post.
Sober life is gradually showing and teaching me things about myself that I had once known but had forgotten for over 15 years. My life feels like its starting to become a life again. I never thought it ever would. There's hope for us all. :)

Day 34 is absolutely awesome. And what's even better is you understanding the impact of your actions on those you love. Keep it up RJY9, it's inspirational x

Brilliant post - I'm sure your wife and family are pleased to have you back again. Well done on taking your life back. It's amazing how self centred being a drunk makes you.

Feels good, doesn't it RJY9? I still have bad days but the moments like you describe become more and more common. Congratulations on making it to this point - it's not easy but so worth it as you are now finding.

Great work. Keep walking forward. You get to choose who you will be in this world and those feelings of shame will leave you. I am happy to see you here RJ.

What a fantastic realization. Good for you for realizing what your drinking was doing to your loved ones. I think we can all look back and realize how selfish we all were while we were drinking. Congrats on your sober time.

Couldn't agree more. One of the cornerstones of my recovery this time compared to previous attempts has been my thinking more about how I can help others instead of always focusing on me me me. Of course, by helping others, I'm also helping myself. But that's not such a bad catch-22, is it?

Congrats on your sobriety RYJ9!

Absoloutey agree Casey. Its a wonderful catch 22! :))

Nice work RJY9. You are doing awesome : ) I had my doubts when you posted before your holiday way back when..that you would return and keep word to yourself. And look at you go dude!!!!!

Keep on with it RJY,

Although my life might not have changed much from the outside looking in , it has changed hugely from the inside looking out .

34 days :You_Rock_

Bestwishes, m