Official Day 3 Check In
Sleeping through appointments, ignoring advice from doctors you just saw at the ER, skipping a meeting you could have gone to yourself, putting off calling the rehab yesterday and again making a half hearted effort today, not utilizing help for things you can do at home from members here, NONE of those things are taking you down any avenue at your disposal. They are excuses, plain and simple.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Scott, spot on!
Right now I feel like crap (have all day) and I am not very motivated to drive 30 miles to my AA meeting...my mind is actually creating excuses not to go...but I am going to FORCE myself to go because I know I need to go in order to continue on my path of sobriety.
Right now I feel like crap (have all day) and I am not very motivated to drive 30 miles to my AA meeting...my mind is actually creating excuses not to go...but I am going to FORCE myself to go because I know I need to go in order to continue on my path of sobriety.
Hi AW, don't know much what to say other than I'm thinking of you. Have been keeping up with your posts since I started this journey in August. I'm not very good at tough love, but this is my attempt: So many people on SR care about you, myself included. You continue to get great advice from people with lots more sober time than we have (like Scott above). You gotta listen to it, friend. You've gotta make those meetings or appointments or detoxes happen. No one can do it but you. I realize that anxiety and panic and pain and being worried about where you'll live are scary and frustrating, but you really have to put your sobriety first right now. Think outside the box--what can you do to get this ball rolling? Not words or plans, but action.
Anyhoo, I don't know how 'tough' that was, lol. It's certainly meant from a place of love though. How about a back-up plan to get to those meetings. Taxi? A different friend to drive you there?....the list is endless...
Anyhoo, I don't know how 'tough' that was, lol. It's certainly meant from a place of love though. How about a back-up plan to get to those meetings. Taxi? A different friend to drive you there?....the list is endless...
So lets start as square one again. You need help AW What is your plan to get help? Relying on buddies doesn't seem like its going to work. What can YOU do today to start getting better?
Nahh no need .. I am done .. Been beaten down too much recently .. Mostly by myself .. thinking hard on just going back to my home town and disappear .. Least I won't cause my ex any more pain ...
Not drink; and I have avoided that so far .. As for the rest of the night my ex will be home shortly; so depending on attitude I will walk to her and see what she says .. Feel her out if I should return to baltimore .. As for tomorrow I plan on calling the counsling service AGAIN and wait till after Lunch Then AGAIN & if need be the crisis center line ..
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
AW, please understand that you are so much stronger than you realize. I know what's it like to deal with anxiety and panic attacks, I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy, but please don't let that stand in the way of attaining what you want. Every time you face your fears, they get more and more manageable.
I joined in May cause I knew then I needed help and support .. Seeing as I trust no one and Honestly have no one around me to help\talk to I figured this be a great place to start .. Early on it was all good ... Grant you I guess I didn't see the dark side .. People willing to through out suggestion that may have helped them and may help most people ..
But I am not most people and I am in a situation that is un like most . Most people wouuld "move out" of this house .. I would if I could .. YOu think I want to live somewhere where I feel half time I am not even wanted .. But I have built a life here and do feel we (My Ex) can work it out w\ sometime a part . I am taking action to do that .. but it is aprocess of red tape .
This is not what I wanted for my life; not what I moved up her for .. If I would have none this I would have stayed in baltimore in my cave repairing PC's Drinking and taking illegal pain pills ..
I moved up here cause I thought I had the strength to grow up beyond that perosn .. & I did for the first 2 years .. Then something "triggered" and things have been spiring since ..
AW
But I am not most people and I am in a situation that is un like most . Most people wouuld "move out" of this house .. I would if I could .. YOu think I want to live somewhere where I feel half time I am not even wanted .. But I have built a life here and do feel we (My Ex) can work it out w\ sometime a part . I am taking action to do that .. but it is aprocess of red tape .
This is not what I wanted for my life; not what I moved up her for .. If I would have none this I would have stayed in baltimore in my cave repairing PC's Drinking and taking illegal pain pills ..
I moved up here cause I thought I had the strength to grow up beyond that perosn .. & I did for the first 2 years .. Then something "triggered" and things have been spiring since ..
AW
I just wanted to add that I self-medicated for years to deal with my anxiety. I kept telling myself that once I got my anxiety under control, then I would quit drinking. But really, it's the other way around. Sobriety has lessened my anxiety considerably, and being able to face my fears sober is giving me more self-confidence. You said you don't really trust anyone, but can you trust that what I said is true for me, and it can be true for you also? Please take this leap of faith.
IPM - there is a trend here that goes back over 1K posts, which I believe people are finding difficult to accept - though we should not project and I am as guilty as anyone.
AW - I am honestly not sure what you want. But perhaps we could help you with a plan if you are willing.
You posted you wanted to go into Detox - you said or another poster said there was an issue about being 72 hours sober, which you are now based on your posts. You also said you went to an ER and they could not help or admit you - what ER did you go to? My mother runs a trauma unit at one of the major Boston Hospitals so maybe I could call her and help you?
I see you have a job so you should have health insurance is this correct?
My question is pretty simple - what is it that you want?
AW - I am honestly not sure what you want. But perhaps we could help you with a plan if you are willing.
You posted you wanted to go into Detox - you said or another poster said there was an issue about being 72 hours sober, which you are now based on your posts. You also said you went to an ER and they could not help or admit you - what ER did you go to? My mother runs a trauma unit at one of the major Boston Hospitals so maybe I could call her and help you?
I see you have a job so you should have health insurance is this correct?
My question is pretty simple - what is it that you want?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
Hey AW
Sending you cyber hugs, hoping you see here are people here for you. Don't stop trying, believe you can do something no matter how small and do it. Build that confidence. Small steps lead to big things.
Be strong x
Sending you cyber hugs, hoping you see here are people here for you. Don't stop trying, believe you can do something no matter how small and do it. Build that confidence. Small steps lead to big things.
Be strong x
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