jdooner

I am lying here in Frankfurt in my hotel room at 2AM. I am finding being on the road is more difficult than anticipated. I am on my first day of week 4 but having urges. I have already called my sponsor. I have opened and closed the mini bar a dozen times and stared at nips.

I am on page 94 of the big book and starting on the steps. I go back and forth relating to stories and then not. I identify with my mind playing tricks for the illusion of not being an alcoholic/addict so I can drink again. I realize where that will go. I am okay with the spiritual aspect of AA.

I am posting this to let others know I feel like I have walked through the abyss to get to week 4 being sober and am still having difficulty every once and a while. I know I am not alone and your not alone.

I have just added a meeting to my calendar for Singapore to ground myself this Thursday. I may attend one in Frankfurt tomorrow.

foolsgold66

I am sorry this is not working according to plan, I have been worried about your 'do it all' program and have said so. Smoking that cigarette instead of taking a drink can be important for a smoker in the early days.

I wish you well, not an I told you so at all, but there is the lesser of two evils that may help you now.

jdooner

Thanks - although I am not craving a cigarette I am in a room alone with several bottles of vodka. I am just used to drinking when on the road, which was +200 days for me a year.

You know what, I am going to call the front desk and have them remove the vodka from my room. Maybe I will ask if they have a pack of cigarettes too - thanks.

Olive1

Can you lock the mini bar and give the key to the front desk?

Olive1

Oops. Cross post.
Even now I cannot have any alcohol in my house. Ever.

I would be interested in your description of the AA meeting. I have only ever been to meetings in my area.

jdooner

no key - I poured the vodka down the toilet too distracting. Sure it will cost me a pretty penny - so that distraction is out of the way - maybe I should get rid of the scotch too.

courage2

Hi jdooner -- don't know your story but I had a business trip at about 8 weeks and it was very, very hard --

Some ideas that helped me:

I called ahead & asked the hotel to take the booze out of the mini-bar (you can do that, if they forget, go ahead and remind them).
I couldn't sleep, so I was up in SR and AA chatrooms all night throughout the trip.
I called all the numbers I had.
I took hot showers -- like 5-6 a day.
I smoked.

At that time I had very few sober tools -- I did whatever worked, but didn't drink. Hope this helps!

foolsgold66

Great idea on asking for removal of the vodka, jd, I imagine if you call ahead to hotels on your other destinations they may be able to get it out before you arrive.

silentrun

Better down the booze down the toilet than your sobriety. I couldn't have a distraction like that either. You so did the right thing, but I'm sure you already know that.

LillianGish

You beat me before I could say it! Give instructions to future front desks as to your mini-bar instructions.

Ornithology

jdooner, I am sitting in a hotel room in Boston basically doing the same thing as you in Frankfurt.
This is day 22 for me and my first business trip since I stopped drinking. I always used to drink heavily when I travelled and it seems very odd to not be drinking right now. I'm here until Thursday and then I fly home. It sounds like you are doing a round the world. I have done many of those, and I understand the isolation one feels when travelling. Ignore the drinks in the refrigerator and focus on what you have accomplished so far.
Safe travels.

jdooner

I poured the vodka, gin, scotch, whiskey beer and wine out - I am going to have a hefty mini bar bill, oh well.

foolsgold66

We are here for you man, post away as much as you need for distraction.

LillianGish

Now here is someone who is really committed!!!! Good for you!!!

Best story I've heard all day!

jdooner

Thanks for the help - I really am surprised this is as difficult for me. I did not think I would have an issue. I will call ahead to the rest of my hotels. The roller coaster ride is just draining.

I upgraded to First Class from Business on the flight over and the staff took my lack of drinking as a personal insult. Lol, I mean they must of asked me 6 times.

I am dreading my Singapore Airlines flight with the beautiful Thai women trying to get me to drink, ugh!

jaynie04

Props to you JD....this will make a great story someday...the I stayed sober in spite of story!

courage2

Congrats on dumping the liquor -- the other things I've done when traveling on business -- I eat ice cream in the airports (it cuts the cravings) and I talk to anybody -- there are a lot of lonely people, stranded passengers, junior colleagues -- anybody who'll get you out of your own head!

jdooner

I lambasted Amajorityofone for what I perceived as juding my commitment to sobriety the other day regarding my plans in Singapore. AMO - if your out there, sorry. I realize you had the right intentions, just interpreted it wrong. Rethinking my Singapore plans at F1 if a mini bar is this challenging.

foolsgold66

Don't look at it is weakness. Sitting right there not sleeping right by it when you are early on is just hard. Pouring all that **** out was really strong. Sometimes its hard to predict the urges, that's why they call them that.