Br00ksie

I am only sober 4 days, and have seen Champagne or wine on TV, thought, "I will never be able to enjoy a toast or glass of wine and cheese again," and been saddened by that fact. I know that, in order for me to achieve the level of success that I want to in life, sobriety is the only option.

I know that I should treat my disease like a food allergy. I know that alcoholism is progressive. But I really enjoyed the normal social aspects of drinking like wine tasting and champagne toasts. I know that I cannot ever enjoy just one glass of ANYTHING alcoholic.

But I have always wanted to go to a vineyard, I enjoy wine and cheese pairings (even if I want to drink the whole bottle instead of a glass) and I am a little sad that I will never NOT be an addict. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I am mourning the loss of something that has been in my life consistently for about 15 years and wanted to share my thoughts.

Bebetter

I recognize those feelings in myself... frequently. Just today, I was thinking of taking a trip to NY to visit the in-laws, and my mind made an automatic inventory of the wineries I wanted to visit. I don't linger on the idea that I will never drink again, because it frightens and overwhelms me, putting undue pressure on me. That is too big to imagine, and it makes me want to quit quitting.

So instead, I focus short term, emotionally, though I know, intellectually that I am in the "no drinking for life" club. I set that aside, because it's only NOW that I can make it happen - I don't need to tackle every circumstance right now. I trust that when the time comes to decide whether to go to that winery or not, I will make the right choice, because I have 75+ days of making the right choice to back me up.

Animal454

Keep up the good work it gets easier and your pride will build every time that you are able to say "no thank you, I am ok" when someone offers you a drink.

least

Keep at it. It does get easier and you'll miss drinking less and less.

Junegirl

Brooksie,

I hear ya. Mourning is exactly how I felt about quitting drinking in the beginning...
It gets better with time.

Best to you,

June

Acheleus

Alcohol shrinks the brain! Just eat the cheese and have a perrier.

foolsgold66

I like to say 'I CHOOSE not to drink today'. Only a slight difference, but it doesn't sound like deprivation.

Good job on 4 days. Hope to see you around here bunches.

Br00ksie

Thank you all so much for the replies! Everything you all said was really encouraging and helpful. I like i choose not to drink today much better! I look forward to the day when I will be more used to sobriety than drinking. I want to print this thread out on a tiny piece of paper and glue it to my heart! <3

happyhour

when we get sober, there is this is void and loss, like breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend. remember, you have spent LOTS of time together (that is why you are on this site) and now the relationship has ended. but, it was an abusive, horrible relationship that was making you sick daily, making you lie and scheme, and keeping you from your goals and aspirations. that's not a romantic relationship, that's sick.

happyhour

a very, very important side note. CONGRATS ON 4 DAYS

CaseyW

There's nothing "only" about being sober four days. Four days is HUGE. The number of times I got drunk after two or three days of swearing "I'm never going to drink again" is too many to count.

I don't think of it as never drinking again. Instead I just focus on not taking that first drink TODAY. My alcoholic mind knows that good feeling I'll get from the first drink, but it never likes to tell me about that second and third and twelfth drink that'll probably follow.

Wishing you the best in your recovery, you've found a safe haven here at SR!