oxy'ed out
 

I'm fighting through the 3rd day again. A month or so ago I made it to 5 days and used. I felt worthless and defeated. I have tried to stop every day and finally on the 6th reached out for help. Its been a process but I got to talk with an addiction councilor. He understood the trap I'm in and gave me his cell # and said I could make it through. He listened to me and offered programs like methadone or suboxone. I expressed that I wanted totally off and didn't want to trade my oxy addiction for another. I was scheduled another appointment ten days later, so out the door I went determined to kick. I woke up on the 7th with a 200mg habit and one 30mg pill. I fought it off as long as I could but couldn't resist and did it. Sunday the 8th I managed to find a 15mg and took that. On monday I found 12 5mg and took 3 and another 3 on tuesday. On Wednesday I found a 8mg suboxone and took 2mg more or less . On thursday I took 1mg the same, and Friday a little less. That evening I realized that all of that was total madness!!!. I asked my self why and couldn't find a logical answer. I knew for me there is no successful way to lower my intake and I was doing just enough to torment myself and prolong the inevitable. So Saturday 14th started day one. Sunday day two and today day three. Anyone who has been through the first days knows what its been like and is like now. So that being said I had my follow through appointment today the 16th with the councilor. I had to drag myself there; but even being sick it felt good to walk in trying to fight. Maybe sounds stupid but I wanted to walk in there clean. I know I'm not there yet but I'm scratching and clawing my way out second by second. I have another appointment on the 25th that's the day I want to walk in with 9 more days. I'm going to a meeting Wednesday and a small group Thursday. Keep me in your prayers or thoughts. Thanks for listening.. .

Keep scratching and clawing. You are doing great!

Welcome trimmer. You are definitely in my prayers. I have no knowledge of Oxys. My doc was alcohol. Hang in there.

Hiya Trimmer! I know exactly what you're going through. If you are determined and honest with yourself, you can do this. This site is a great help for me. Very supportive!

I hope your new resources can help you stay clean. We're here to support you also. :hug:

I had to get out of my head for a moment. I felt like I could eat something so I hit taco bell.. not a good idea. Getting out of my head part yes ... the bell and WD's no. one bite done. I think ill try to eat tomorrow. It was nice to see everyones encouragement when I got back. Thank you so much

hey trimmer. :)

my SO is on day 2 WD from Oxy. Almost day 3. i'm proud of him.

one thing i might throw in here, stay away from take out food. try to eat things with no preservatives, or do some simple home cooked things. nothing too big, but...the more natural the better. flush with fluids all you can. take a multivitamin every single day. and try tea to help calm your stomach. also, keep the immodium handy.

My SO is trying 5-htp (vitamin section) to help combat the anxiety, and a melatonin/valerian combination to help him sleep. So far, so good.

YOU CAN DO THIS. its hard. but everything worth doing is difficult to get done. just be strong.

Thank you for the advice. and day two is something to be proud of. Going into day 3 is awesome if leg pain starts to be an issue heat helped and is helping me.

Well done trimmer! Keep going, you're doing awesome!

also, potassium. and zinc. get you some banana's to help out there. :)

Thanks Grindilow. Being on this forum and feeling the support is helping me so much. I want to be able to give again. I heard a prayer once with the words that said: it's in giving that we receive. Thank you for giving to me