jesternudder

I fell off the wagon on Friday and drank from 3pm until 3am. Fell down twice, lost my eyeglasses, spent money I couldn't afford to spend. Have assorted bruises. Feel like a total idiot. Didn't drink yesterday but spent all day in bed sleeping it off so I'm counting today as day one again.
I'm so mad at myself.

13unluckyforsom

Yknow what we've all done things we aren't proud of but the main thing is your back and trying again. Have you got a plan this time? Things to keep you busy and away from alcohol?

ImperfectlyMe

Getting mad at yourself is a waste of your precious energy. Use that energy to feed yourself positive self talk. What's done is done. Remember this feeling but DO NOT wallow in it. A relapse can strengthen your sobriety if you reference this felling next time. You're on your way chin up be good to yourself

13unluckyforsom

I also remember waking up with bruises and nooooo idea how they happened. It's part of the 'fun' of being drunk lol (being sarcastic)

hayley86

Its good that you are back here posting and starting again. Hopefully you know why this happened and you can stop it from happening again. Best of luck.

MidnightBlue

Hi, jesternudder.

A lot of us stumbled on the road to sobriety.

Good for you to come back, posting and fighting for your sobriety.

Leave the past mistakes behind. Experience can hurt - learn from it and move forward.

Don't beat yourself up - it won't help, take my word.

Make you plan how to prevent these situations in the future, identify and recognize and triggers, don't listen to AV. Believe in yourself.

Best wishes to you. Take care, keep posting.

jesternudder

I feel like I need to document the way I feel today so I can read it next time I am tempted to drink. I have had NO alcohol for 30 hours and have racked up a good 15 hours of sleep since then.I still feel hung over as hell: vague nausea, anxiety, remorse, self loathing, a Humongous painful bruise on my left butt cheek, bruises and scratches on both shins and I still feel totally exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.
My house is a mess, yesterday was a beautiful day but I spent it in bed. All the things I planned to accomplish this weekend never.got done and I am absolutely terrified to check my bank balance.
And it's all my fault for making the wrong choice on Friday afternoon. I wouldn't treat anyone else the way I've treated myself this weekend. DON'T DO IT AGAIN, SELF! Be nice to myself in the future!

lorelei

Hey jester well done gtg straight back on day 1 I know how bad these slips hurt but we can either learn from them or let them make us feel so bad we keep drinking. Day 1 sounds good to me x

LadyBlue0527

Never stop trying! I'm glad that you came back. Do you have a plan in place?

Anna

I hope you can figure out why you decided to take the first drink? Where were you? What was on your mind? Don't blame yourself, but no need to let it happen again. I\m glad you're back.

jesternudder

My plan is still forming - right now it is simply to not start drinking.
I think of all the things that I can accomplish with the spare time I will gain through sobriety. A conservative estimate is that I go on a bender once every 1.5 weeks. That's 34 drunks per year. Add on a couple of days hangover for each drunk and that is 102 wasted days per year.
I'm 50 years old - I need to stop squandering my precious time!
I'm not sure what triggered me on Friday - I was having lunch in a restaurant and chose a margarita instead of something non-alc.
This isn't going to be easy but I really want to stop this binge-drinking. Need to do lots of soul searching.
Thanks for the replies and support.

tootsl1

Jester, well done on coming right back, I'm your age too and knew I wanted to live to see my grandson grow up, keep strong, keep focused.

potatojuice

I'm sure a lot of us have some experience with groundhog day drinking (didn't I just do this?). Whatever you are doing doesn't seem to be working. Can you come up with plan B?