happyhour

13, don't lose perspective and start messing around and agreeing with some of the lies you are telling yourself. you have been doing awesome, less than 2 weeks ago YOU SAID...

Today I will try and let myself be happy and content and do things for me because I want them done. Regardless if my OH is being a jerk right now and under appreciating me - I will do the things I want done for my own satisfaction. This is my life and I'm in control. It's too easy and has been in the past for me to let other people's negativity affect me and then I in turn use it as an excuse to do nothing or to drink or to hurt myself ultimately. So today ill do things for me

foolsgold66

No, I already know you don't really want to. I suggest spending the evening out in some enjoyable sober pursuit, hell, get a hotel for a night or two, maybe that will have some impact on his attitude as well.

13unluckyforsom

I'm in bed with my wee girl now anyway. Had a killer headache all day and drinking's not going to help that or me in the end so what's the point.

I might get back up once she goes to sleep but their going to be watching boxing and its not my thing so probably just have a coffee a cigarette and come back upstairs.

I know if I drink tonight ill get smart about it and before I know it ill be back on the slippery slope to drinking every day.

You guys are great - I knew I didn't really want to and I knew if I said it in here then I'd be called out! So in a way the post was redundant as soon as it was posted almost. I wanted to make a point to him though but he's since said he doesn't mind me drinking at the weekends as long as that's it but it just shows me that he really doesn't understand the nature of the beast inside me!

Which is bizarre as he was always telling me I had a 'problem' and I was an 'alcoholic' and needed 'help' and when I finally accept myself for what i was he adds flame to the fire.... Maybe it suits him to have me sick? You'd wonder huh lol

foolsgold66

It's great that you can come here and post and get that feedback you need, redundant or not it helps. It does seem time to have a chat with him about all that drinking around you, when you are feeling your best and can do it without anger.

13unluckyforsom

Yeah I tried last week but it clearly didn't have any impact. Some people are just selfish - and I guess it's fine and no one is perfect but I have some evaluating to do. Yet again.

lommey

well done 13 that's another day done

neferkamichael

13unluckyforsom, I owed my neighbor a favor and was helping him mow his yard today at 11AM in the boiling hot sun. When he came to take over he handed me an ice cold bud lite. I didn't think twice about telling him I didn't drink and handed it back to him. He went inside and got me a bottle of water. I rarely have that happen to me, but it's easy to say no. One thing you can't do is change other people, and it sounds like your hubby gave you some BS about quitting. If you believe drinking is a problem for you quit and understand you are gonna have to live with the temptations of others. Also realize he may be jealous of you if you do, however just live with that too. You can do it, rootin for ya.

13unluckyforsom

I'm in bed sober and with a full stomach lol I got up and ordered some Chinese food. So I've left my other half down stairs drinking himself to whatever oblivion he likes. If he wakes me up snoring we may have a problem though lol

Thanks everyone for the support. Sometimes it's enough just to say it out loud and be heard. I don't want to drink ever again but it doesn't always mean its easy to fight the battle in my head.

Oldselfagain

Awesome you stayed strong 13

pinkdog

Hi 13, I really hope that you do not drink tonite. It's about you and the alcohol. For yourself, do not drink. Find something else to do when they are drinking. Focus on sobriety. It is awesome.

dwtbd

Amen to not an easy battle, but each(and every)victory weakens the beast and strengthens resolve,you are a beast butt kicking ninja chic way to go!!!

Emily2002

Love what you wrote above. Lucky for US, 13unluckyforsom, you're here to remind us to remain vigilant as well.

Emily2002

This is why I was up at 4am!

Sobersunshine

Awesome job 13!

phoebe64

I am about to go to bed now, and hoping my drunken snorer does not wake me when he comes up after falling asleep on the couch, and later with the snoring. of course for many years, it was me doing it. But it is so annoying!

Lucky, glad you pulled through and snuggling with your child and Chinese food sound much better than drinking and a hangover!