Raider

Ack! I don't want to do this!! But I have to. Because if you don't know what I'm up to, your advice will be meaningless

My fourth flop - I didn't post before I drank because I wanted to drink. I did not want to be talked out of it. Phew!

The cabin trip starts Monday. I am terrified. No I don't have a plan. I feel like I need to get there and check it out first. I will try to find support while I am there. Meth is a big issue in this tiny town. One would think the would be some sort of support.

So there it is. I'm scared. Very scared. I don't know if there is any liquor there. I haven't been in a long time.

I'm just scared now.

Anna

It sounds like it might be a good time to stay home and make your recovery a priority.

lastcallsunday

Outside opinion without knowing what's going on?
30 day inpatient may be the way to go if you're serious about turning it around?

Raider

Anna - probably right. But we have planned this trip for so long. I won't tell him I'm not going now. Thanks you for responding. Thanks.

Raider

Lastcall - I think I need to look into that when I get back. Apparently not doing well on my own.

ImperfectlyMe

You've probably also planned on living a long healthy life too right?
Plans can change! In good ways and bad

Raider

Lastcall - the cabin is in Shelton, WA.

phoebe64

I don't know, Raider, but it sounds like you need more help. I think the suggestions of programs, inpatient, are good suggestions. But I am very new at this.

phoebe64

AA meetings:

A.A. Meetings in Shelton , WA

ReadyAtLast

I think that is the problem. For me, until I WANTed to stop more than I wanted to drink I could never quit

maybe a part ofyoudoes want toquit though or why would you have come here

phoebe64

I am also wondering, with how you are not going more than a day here or there, if you may need medical support to detox?

kadidee

Raider, I just clicked on that link that rochele posted. There are multiple meetings every day. If you're set on going to the cabin, why don't you make it your full time plan to attend meetings? Use this as a recovery vacation.

james872

Alright Raider, what's going on here? There's a reason you keep relapsing. Be honest with yourself. 100% honest. What is the reason you keep going back to drinking. No rationalizations, just the truth.

We're all here to help. But you have to get to the honest truth. First for yourself and if you feel comfortable doing so, sharing it here so you can get help.

I feel like we're circling around the real issue in your threads, which is why you never get a good solution. I may be wrong, but it kind of feels like that.

And I think it'd be wise for you to go to your doctor as well and get assistance with quitting.

Btw, if you look for the real reason you keep drinking and the answer is "I don't know", you either consciously or unconsciously avoid the answer. At that point you have to have some courage to look anyway. Gotta find the problem, otherwise you can't create a solution for it!

Wishing you well and thinking about you Raider. You'll get there. The "how" that works for you just needs to be found. And cheer up, you deserve to feel better. You're a sweet person, that's obvious.

hayley86

You say you didn't post here before you drank because you wanted to drink and did not want to be talked out of it. I don't really understand this.... Do you want to quit drinking or not?. If you do want to quit you need a plan and probably some extra support in place. If trying to get sober by yourself is not working then i would try something else until it does work. Especially if you are not using this place for support when you feel triggered to drink. I also do not understand why you would go somewhere that makes you feel scared and stressed. The only way i could start to get well in those early few weeks and months was by putting my sobriety before everything else and not placing myself in harms way. Wishing you well.

Raider

Rochele thank you.
Kadidee - thank you
Ready - I come here for support

I have one question about treatment. I think you guys are right about that. My question is will my insurance cover it. I have blue cross blue shield? How does that work?

I have an app right now be back in a couple hours. Thank you and looking forward to your responses.

Pam

EndGameNYC

There was a woman who was posting comments here starting some time around mid-summer. She seemed to be making a genuine effort to get sober, struggling as most of us do; good at staying connected here too.

In a few of her comments, she revealed that there was this big family vacation planned every year (a five-day weekend?) near the end of the summer. I think it was Labor Day weekend. She insisted that she could not back out because this vacation was so important to her kids and her ex. She said that her ex still drinks, but that she'd try to get support in the vacation town, and would check in here as often as possible.

Haven't heard from her since.

kadidee

EndGame, I remember this woman because it was right around the time that I started posting when she was talking about the vacation. She's from Scotland, I think. I've been thinking about her too lately--I remember her picture.

Raider, I have Blue Cross Blue Shield through my work and it is very good insurance. You need to call the number on the back on the card. They are super helpful and can let you know what the coverage is.

lastcallsunday

Should you go on your vacation, welcome to the Great State of Washington. Shelton is beautiful.
My experience however is that camping and cabins have been the setting for my most notorious *ss outs.
But I'm not an expert only 6 days here so new as well.

dwtbd

The reason I wanted to drink was because I liked being drunk.

I think for a long time I was trying to keep the enjoyment and wishing the other stuff(health damage both physical and pschological, hangovers, ect) away, but the reality is they come hand in hand, no way around it. So I had to realsie that the enjoyment of being drunk carried too heavy a price ultimately me , my life, my family, everything.

The only way to stop paying the price for being drunk, is to not get drunk.

Home or away, secure or scared it doesn't matter. That's the way it is, sucks but..

The cabin sounds like a fantastic place to spend a week comtemplating, and I think you mentioned reading some things about RR and AVRT, go to their site take or retake the crash course and if possible get the RR book to take with you. This could be a great opportunity for a recovery vacation.

wish you well

LillianGish

I'm an insurance broker and the answer is maybe. It depends what coverage was purchased. Do you have a booklet or a plan summary? If so, look up inpatient substance abuse. Sometimes only inpatient detox only is covered.

Calling the customer service number for Blue Shield is great advice. Pm me if you need help with insurance.

Outpatient treatment is very likely covered.