Again. 🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Nuudawn 
Like Carl and Silentrun, I too winced a little at the "my horse, my rules, my willpower". Overcoming and transcending addiction is so much more than "just say no!". That being said, you are not a weak or bad person should you pick up that drink...but I would say you might be a little uninformed or ill prepared for what you are truly dealing with.
You can do this but you have to have a plan of action when cravings strike. You have to find a pause between craving and pouring that drink. Have you posted here before pouring? Have you found that pause to ask yourself a few questions like "okay..what's going here..why am I craving?". Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?.
Learn to be much more inquisitive of yourself and your actions. Don't judge..wonder!
You can do this but you have to have a plan of action when cravings strike. You have to find a pause between craving and pouring that drink. Have you posted here before pouring? Have you found that pause to ask yourself a few questions like "okay..what's going here..why am I craving?". Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?.
Learn to be much more inquisitive of yourself and your actions. Don't judge..wonder!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Alef - no sneaking here. When I told him I wanted a drink, he started to question me...my AV came out full force on him. We drank together. Yes I called my person from Celebrate Recovery....after I was drunk 😡
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Originally Posted by Raider
Alef - no sneaking here. When I told him I wanted a drink, he started to question me...my AV came out full force on him. We drank together. Yes I called my person from Celebrate Recovery....after I was drunk 😡
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
All well and good, as long as it works? No criticism of your beliefs intended of course.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Raider:
I don't use AA and I'm not a person of a particular faith either. I'm not saying that to somehow insinuate that either one is good or bad, but more so that anyone can make a plan to be sober, regardless of their beliefs towards any recovery method or belief system. But you do have to have some kind of plan other than just "not drinking". For me that plan involves SR, my family, and just daily common sense reminders of why I don't drink and what will happen if I do drink again. I have accepted that I cannot drink normally, which was the biggest hurdle. It took me many "moderation" attepmps or "slips" or whatever we want to call them.
I don't use AA and I'm not a person of a particular faith either. I'm not saying that to somehow insinuate that either one is good or bad, but more so that anyone can make a plan to be sober, regardless of their beliefs towards any recovery method or belief system. But you do have to have some kind of plan other than just "not drinking". For me that plan involves SR, my family, and just daily common sense reminders of why I don't drink and what will happen if I do drink again. I have accepted that I cannot drink normally, which was the biggest hurdle. It took me many "moderation" attepmps or "slips" or whatever we want to call them.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Originally Posted by Raider
Alef - no sneaking here. When I told him I wanted a drink, he started to question me...my AV came out full force on him. We drank together. Yes I called my person from Celebrate Recovery....after I was drunk 😡
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
James - I start obsessing.
NuuDawn - ok good advice. I'll take it
Mentium - I did not mean to be negative about AA. I just prefer a program rooted in my faith.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
You can do this but you have to have a plan of action when cravings strike.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Is it possible that my four flops had no trigger? I have thought about this. I have figured some triggers outs. Hunger, tiredness, irritation, boredom, frustration... None of these occurred last night.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Thank you Scott and Kadidee.
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Originally Posted by Raider
Is it possible that my four flops had no trigger?
I needed the support of my wife and AA.
My wife keeps booze out of the house.
AA gives me a phone list I can use before I drink.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Raider
The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
Am I the only who does that?
It's all the more reason to have some kind of plan in place. If all you do is just "not drink", you'll either think about drinking or follow some other routine that you always did that inevetably led to drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
It is called 'powerlessness'. It is a sad but true fact that most of us here have little power over alcohol - those who are drinking but 'don't want to' clearly for the moment have none at all. That's why it is such bloody hard work to quit the damned stuff!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
have you tried urge surfing when the thoughts of drinking first hit? I know what you mean.The thoughts were so strong the only way I thoughtto get rid of them was to drink.But it isn't the only way. You can get through the thoughts and cravings
Have you read Rational Recovery - AVRT? It teaches you how to deal with the thoughts, recognize them for what they are and deal with them.
Have you read Rational Recovery - AVRT? It teaches you how to deal with the thoughts, recognize them for what they are and deal with them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Originally Posted by Raider
The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Originally Posted by Raider
Thank you Scott and Kadidee.
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
So if you went back to the moment that the thought comes in your head about drinking, what could you think instead that is useful?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
Originally Posted by Raider
Is it possible that my four flops had no trigger? I have thought about this. I have figured some triggers outs. Hunger, tiredness, irritation, boredom, frustration... None of these occurred last night.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 321
If I may - It seems that you already accept some of the basics of AA. The first few steps, summed up, say I can't, He can, I'll let him. From there you take honest stock of yourself -get down to the causes and conditions of drinking. Then you go and surrender your defects of character to God. That's the first 7 steps in a nutshell. The next five are about amending your relationships that have become damaged in the past and living in a way that doesn't lead to any more damage, becoming a more spiritual person.
You say you want a program rooted in your beliefs. It sounds like you believe in God. God is stated over 300 times in the AA book and 7 times in the 12 steps. God is said at every meeting, once at the beginning and once at the end, as well as many times in the middle.
Yes, AA stresses that there is no one set God. That we do not force a certain belief on any person. And that is true. It would be seen as intolerant and narrow minded if it were not true. To me it sounds like you want what AA has to offer, but you don't want AA. So perhaps give it a try? Go to a few meetings, see if you like what you get out of it
You say you want a program rooted in your beliefs. It sounds like you believe in God. God is stated over 300 times in the AA book and 7 times in the 12 steps. God is said at every meeting, once at the beginning and once at the end, as well as many times in the middle.
Yes, AA stresses that there is no one set God. That we do not force a certain belief on any person. And that is true. It would be seen as intolerant and narrow minded if it were not true. To me it sounds like you want what AA has to offer, but you don't want AA. So perhaps give it a try? Go to a few meetings, see if you like what you get out of it
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by Raider
Thank you Scott and Kadidee.
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
James a thought comes in my head about drinking. The harder I not to think about it, the more I think about it. Until finally, I just do it.
Am I the only who does that?
Yes, last Saturday. Friday, I was going mad with cravings, and I got through it. Saturday, it was a good day. I went to soccer to watch my son, came home, got a bunch done around the house, was feeling good. Thoughts of a nice glass of wine kept entering my thoughts, like a reflex. I just decided one night would be fine, just a couple of glasses. and I went and bought wine. It was not even in the house. I did not give myself a moment to pause and question it. I did what was familiar and habit. And I failed, and had a beer, whole bottle of white, and a glass of red after that.
And then, I had all the crappy feelings that reminded me why I did not want to do that. I don't know why we do it. Brain fart, I guess.
But I am not doing it this weekend, because I don't drink.
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