grasscutter

Hi all,

I've been sober off meth for 16 days. I snorted some today, but it was bunk. I didn't go out and get the real stuff. Do I have to restart my clean date?

foolsgold66

It's your sobriety, what do you think?

grasscutter

That's a good question. I feel guilty because I lied to my sponsor about why I couldn't go to a meeting tonight (before I tried to get high thinking I would be high at thye meeting, which I didn't want), and he was so proud fo me for calling him and staying clean. I feel like I should tell him I tried to get high, but I'm embarrassed. My total clean time was only 2 days, because I smoked weed two days ago, but how can I tell him the truth? I already lied to him once before and fessed up and came clean. I don't know what to do. I guess I shouldn't have tried to get high then I wouldn't be in this dilemma.

Melbell

I think as hard as it is, come clean with your sponsor. You have to remember he's an addict too, even if he is sober. Lying and dishonesty is part of our disease and if you start "lying " here and there it compounds the guilt which could likely cause you to go out and get "real" high. Im sure your sponsor has seen and heard a lot of sh*t and has probably done a lot in his past also. I'm sure he will understand. He will probably respect you more for coming clean so to speak.

Good luck with your sobriety.

Peace.
Melbell

ChefWolverine

Honesty will set you free my friend.

Uninvited

You mean if I just drink crappy beer it doesn't count?

grasscutter

I guess you guys are right. I did some reading online and I guess lying is a part of the addiction thing. I'm trying here. I hope he will understand. I really don't want to talk to him about it, but in my heart I know I should. Honesty does set you free. As for the crappy beer example, it'd be more like drinking non-alcoholic beer thinking it was alcoholic beer in my opinion. Cuz it wasn't ****** meth, it wasn't meth. But you got me thinking and I had the intention of getting high, so it probably would be relapse.

grasscutter

Update: I called my sponsor. He was proud of me for being honest, he says my clean date starts tomorrow and just don't change it. My clean date could be Friday the 13th!He said his clean date he counts as the day he shot aspirin thinking it was coke. There's one more person I have to be honest with, my best friends sister whose really trying to help me be sober, got me into an SLE and everything (which I got kicked out fo for 30 days for fighting, but I go back in 26 days), and then I'll feel better about myself at least. I can't keep doing this though, I really need to stay sober. Using just doesn't work out. It's hard but somehow I'll make it.

Melbell

Good for you. Its not always easy being honest.

Good luck on your journey.
MelB

foolsgold66

Good job. Next time call your sponsor if you WANT to use. That's why you have him.

Recovery1983

Being honest might be one of the hardest things to do, but it has one of the biggest rewards too. The fact that you are considering being upfront and honest with those around you already is a huge step. I've been at that crossroad many times, and being honest to your sponsor and to those that care almost always is the right decision. As an addict and alcoholic, lying is so natural for me, so when I am honest, it shows that I'm getting better. I'm pretty sure that your best friend's sister would appreciate you being honest with her.

NoelleR

"...He said his clean date he counts as the day he shot aspirin thinking it was coke..."

I'm sorry; I'm a wee bit confused. He uses as his clean date the date he tried to get high, but what he 'shot up' was aspirin, so it doesn't count.....? I guess your sponsor and I have differing ideas when it comes to 'clean dates' and 'rigorous honesty.'

(o:
NoelleR

flutter

Good job for being honest. Honesty is the cornerstone of my recovery.

happyhour

he understands. just tell him the truth, come clean, no secrets.

then, enjoy a nice day with no regrets.

thanks for posting this, it helped me.

kelle96

In the end your only hurting yourself by lying. Be brave and who cares what others think of you - it's your path.