Just when I thought I could see my way out of the woods....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: United States - Philadelphia Suburbs
Posts: 51
Just when I thought I could see my way out of the woods....
Don't worry, this has a good ending.
I have felt so much better the past week or so (today began my 9th day sober). No alcohol, less anxiety, feeling like I am healing a bit. Appreciating a place to check in, learn from others, post my thoughts.
This afternoon, an issue at work. Whoops, again I'm not perfect (professionally... or otherwise, ha ha). My anxiety ramped up, the stress of whether I could have done something differently or better. As a small business owner who consults and solves problems for a living, what I sell is basically myself. My position is no more or less important than anyone else's, but if I make a mistake, it could cost me what I've built. I'm not trying to sound dramatic, by the way.
So, no surprise, but in the past, this would have led to a trip to the liquor store or rooting through the stash. And for a bit today, I considered the trip to the store.
But I didn't go. After having posted here on SR, I have a confessional of sorts. A record of some of what I have done, how I behaved, what I wanted to change. One drink today would have numbed me to me, but there would have been more to follow. And that would have led to my wife looking at me funny, my temper getting short, me waking up with stress and horrible tension tomorrow. And for whatever reason, I just drank about 6 glasses of water and ate most of a jar of salsa (w chips) because I knew I would be less tempted to drink while those things were in my system. In the end, the comfort and numbness of a drink (many) was not worth what it would have cost me.
So I'm still 8, going on 9.
I'm not Mr. Sunshine, and work won't go away, but I'll be better prepared to deal tomorrow.
Thank you, SR, for being there. Digitally, I mean.
I have felt so much better the past week or so (today began my 9th day sober). No alcohol, less anxiety, feeling like I am healing a bit. Appreciating a place to check in, learn from others, post my thoughts.
This afternoon, an issue at work. Whoops, again I'm not perfect (professionally... or otherwise, ha ha). My anxiety ramped up, the stress of whether I could have done something differently or better. As a small business owner who consults and solves problems for a living, what I sell is basically myself. My position is no more or less important than anyone else's, but if I make a mistake, it could cost me what I've built. I'm not trying to sound dramatic, by the way.
So, no surprise, but in the past, this would have led to a trip to the liquor store or rooting through the stash. And for a bit today, I considered the trip to the store.
But I didn't go. After having posted here on SR, I have a confessional of sorts. A record of some of what I have done, how I behaved, what I wanted to change. One drink today would have numbed me to me, but there would have been more to follow. And that would have led to my wife looking at me funny, my temper getting short, me waking up with stress and horrible tension tomorrow. And for whatever reason, I just drank about 6 glasses of water and ate most of a jar of salsa (w chips) because I knew I would be less tempted to drink while those things were in my system. In the end, the comfort and numbness of a drink (many) was not worth what it would have cost me.
So I'm still 8, going on 9.
I'm not Mr. Sunshine, and work won't go away, but I'll be better prepared to deal tomorrow.
Thank you, SR, for being there. Digitally, I mean.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Yay, for you for getting through that!
I know for sure, that getting through something like that, will make easier for you the next time. That's how it works and that's how we recover.
I know for sure, that getting through something like that, will make easier for you the next time. That's how it works and that's how we recover.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Phew, Tides - I'm so glad you made it through without caving.
You are so right - the comfort & numbness of a drink would not have been worth it. I wish it hadn't taken me decades to get that. It doesn't truly help us cope - that's a lie we've told ourselves for too long. Glad you handled it Tides.
You are so right - the comfort & numbness of a drink would not have been worth it. I wish it hadn't taken me decades to get that. It doesn't truly help us cope - that's a lie we've told ourselves for too long. Glad you handled it Tides.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by Tides 
I just drank about 6 glasses of water and ate most of a jar of salsa (w chips) because I knew I would be less tempted to drink while those things were in my system.
If the chips and salsa works for you, maybe make sure to always keep some on hand.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
