Job Stress..coping without the drink
 

I just learned today that one of the managers in my department is probably going to be doing a job very much like mine. We will both have senior titles but she will make a lot more money. She is difficult to say the least. She swears and is rude and few people like her. The way this has come about has been shifty and shady and I feel betrayed. She has already told me she will be "bugging the he** out of me". She is known as a backstabber and would throw you under the bus. I'm 15 days sober but that stress was a real trigger. It was amazing how quickly I thought of a drink when I heard this news. Ugggg. I will try to be positive but it's hard. I wish I didn't think about a drink when things get a little tough. Anyway..thanks for letting me vent.

Hi Peaches... Is this a demotion for the shrew? If so, then that could be good news... esp. if she "swears and is rude and few people like her" and is also "known as a back stabber". I would hate this change too. I too would be triggered. Just hang in there though. There is nothing you can do about the change and it is what it is for the time being. Hopefully, this change won't last very long...

PS - Congratulations on 15 Days! :You_Rock_

I'm glad you didn't drink over this and I hope it all works out ok for you. :hug:

Hey, it's normal to think about turning to a drink when you're in early recovery. But, you didn't take one and that's great! Your work situation sounds difficult, but the best thing you can do is to stay sober and do your job the best you can. :) Backstabbers usually get found out in the end.

and when we do endure
 

Peaches, would drinking help you resolve this work issue or help you deal with it in a productive way?
I'm guessing you are better off enjoying Day 16 and finding a way to deal with this disappointment at work.

What you're going through at work would stress me out, too. You can't control what this other person will think, or say, or do.
But you should definitely be proud of changing your response to the trigger... controlling what you can. Venting is better than drinking, and will certainly pay off tomorrow! Thanks for sharing.

Thanks all. 4S..demotion in title maybe but not in salary. I'm glad I didn't drink..doesn't change anything and I won't let the shrew (LOL) cause that to happen. You guys are the best. Feel better already. Going for 16!!

I think NOT drinking and rocking at your job will show her who's the better person and get you farther in the long run!

Ah, work. More politics than in actual politics sometimes. I recommend you take the high road and stay on it. You may not get promotions or salary from it but you won't hate yourself.

Hi Peaches,
Really good advice in the thread. I'm really glad you shared your feelings on this and the potential trigger. You can't change the evil one's behavior, but you can lean on your friends and support network to help get you through it. Outstanding!

Your Pal,
Cas

Yes, what she said! Good job, peaches.

Nuudawn posted this in another thread today: "Living sober is a process, not an event." I was really struggling today too and a lightbulb went off when I read this. Everything is not going to instantly get better once we stop drinking (lol, I thought it was). We have to stick with it to see the changes and learn how to cope. Pulling for you :)

I know it is tough but stay strong in commitment. If you can hold it on track for a couple of months you will be amazed at how much easier things become.

Hey sorry for your situation of late. But don't let yourself believe drinking will negate any of that stress. Use this new stressor to make you stronger. Your 15 days sober and that is enormous! Don't give this woman any of your power! In 10 years from now I doubt you'll hardly remember her name.... But if you drink over this in 10 years you might hardly remember your own name.

Congrats on 2 weeks, good work

Ugh work stress is (was) a major trigger for me, too. And it's usually a person (thinking of one particular person for my situation), not the work itself. I used to think "I'll show them, I'll get drunk!". Now I think, "I'll show them, I'll stay SOBER!" I don't know if you're doing AA, but I found doing the steps very helpful in letting go of resentments and dealing with difficult people. Also, the big book says to pray for people who bug you. Lol seriously? Well, I've tried it and it works. The bb says you dOnt even have to mean it, just say a prayer. What I've found through this exercise is that I usually end up feeling sorry for the person who's driving me nuts. It takes their power away, in my mind.
Congratulations on two weeks!

peaches58 ~ I live in the corporate world and I'm surrounded by sharks. Here's what I have learned.

If you don't have anything to hide, you do your job to the best of your ability and you act honorably....you have nothing to worry about. Communicate with your managers about what you are doing, keep good solid relationships with people around you and keep regular hours. Do all the things we know are good - and good things happen.

Whenever I ignore my instincts on who people are - I'm ALWAYS sorry. So, trust that your instincts about this newly demoted shrew are correct. Never give her any information that would hurt your reputation. Drinking, your new sobriety, etc. would fall in the "do not discuss" category.

BUT, don't and I repeat don't ~ overreact to her. Be unavailable whenever you can, give her superficial information but accurate information, be polite and confident. Be friendly though. It's a fine balance. She needs you more than you need her I suspect?

I'm on day 8 of sobriety and I already feel I'm much sharper at work. So NOT drinking would help you more in your situation. I know it's counterintuitive.

Stress is our body's reaction to danger. When we were cavemen, that fight or flight instinct kept us alive. It's deep within humans. We alcoholics like the flight reaction more than the fight.....maybe I'm wrong about that, but I feel like running away to a bottle a lot. So if you feel the need for flight ~ stop and think fight instead.

You have nothing to fear here. From the sounds of it, you will really outshine her. Stay sharp and take her head on! It can be exhilerating. I hope I spelled exhilerating right....LOL!

You can do it! Best of luck to you.

Congratulations on your sober time & thanks for posting -- I wish more people would post about work issues -- for some of us it's where we spend most of our waking life & the source of a huge amount of stress day-in, day-out.

Learning to work sober has been a big part of my journey so far. I'm pleased to say it's going well. I'm learning to be more positive towards and about my colleagues, and more aware of what things I can and can't keep apart from my sphere of responsibility. But that's only recently --

-- where you are, I would just say try to stay away from any source of stress that might be a trigger.

Wow guys!! I can't thank you enough for the advice. Lillian .. you are right. I will take the high road because I pride myself in my own performance. Cas and all you guys you're the best. I will go into this with my head up my mind clear and a smile on my face. I have not shared my drinking or my sobriety with anyone at work and don't intend to. This has truly helped me calm down! I'll take this with me..fight not flight...I'll show em and stay sober....I won't give her any power...rock the job...living sober is a process...say a prayer..and forget her name (LOL). Love you guys. Hugs all around.