FourSeasons

Hello,

I just seen this term on another post (thank-you, AlphaOmega). I have actually seen it a couple of times, here and there, but not very often.

Obviously, I can google it and get a "scientific definition". I am just lazy...

I am curious if people out there have an actual personal experience with it.

I have successfully finished up 3 full sober weeks (Yay for me!!) and today is day one on week four. I have been dealing with a major trigger over the past 24 hours... Crazy dysfunctional family dynamics and such. Nasty and crazy crap from my immediate family has always been my number 1 trigger.

As a result, I have been really struggling with my urge to drink and to get numb..

Fortunately, my cousin talked me off the ledge and I am now OK..

Did I just experience a kindling moment? Again, not sure what it actually means.

Thanks!

4S

Dee74

Kindling is about withdrawal - the longer we drink alcoholically the worse our withdrawals are likely to be.

Wanting to drink in times of stress is just plain unvarnished alcoholism I think- we relied on drinking to help us cope for a long time - it's an ingrained and instinctive reaction for a lot of us, for a little while at least.

glad you talked yourself through it

D

ScottFromWI

My personal understanding of Kindling is that each time you detox, the detox can become more and more severe. I would say you are merely experiencing urges to drink that we all have in early recovery. As long as you don't have physical issues that would warrant seeing a doctor, i'd say work hard on your recovery plan and those urges will become weaker and less frequent over time. Congrats on the 3 sober weeks, that's a great accomplishment!

LadyBug66

Kindling is where your nerves go crazy during withdrawal. The last time I drank I binged big time and the day after every little thing would make me want to jump out of my skin. When my little 3 lb dog brushed up against my foot it was like someone poking me with a cattle prod.

Dee74

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html

FourSeasons

Thanks, Dee. And thank-you Scott and LadyBug. I appreciate your response. I read the link Dee provided and found it to be very useful. Obviously, my initial question and example was off base. Good to know I am not kindling right now! Rather, I am living through a very strong trigger... I need to do a better job of loving detaching from my nasty family... I know that and I have really been working on it!!!

LadyBug66

FourSeasons, my biggest trigger is my family too. When my husband would be mean I would just want to get numb so I know how you feel. It was so hard when he would make me upset to not go get a bottle and make a drink. Now, I just say to myself when the urge gets too strong..... "I will not drink TODAY". I don't take it any more into the future than TODAY and that seems to pacify me at the moment and the urge passes. I have actually gotten into my car and drove around saying out loud. I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY! I am on day 31 without alcohol.

FourSeasons

Thank-you, LadyBug! And, congratulations on 31 Days!!

My mother is over-the-top crazy. She suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. Though, according to her, she is "wonderful" and everyone else is screwed up. Unfortunately, my brothers shares some of those very nasty traits and he is an active alcoholic. The sad thing here is that I really have no immediate family. Both my mother and father were the only children. I have no aunts, uncles, or first cousins.

Growing up, it was always my mother and brother against me and my father. Seriously, over-the-top psycho-crap. My father passed away many years ago, though he emotionally and physically checked out when I was very young. Her nasty craziness simply broke him.

I have not seen or spoken to my mother in over three years. Though difficult, it is in my best interest. Today, my brother continues to sporadically lash out at me with extreme venom. I usually do not see the nasty attack coming until I am brought in. The verbal onslaught and nasty rants just happens and draw blood from me. I am so sick of it.

My cousin (actually she is the daughter of my father's mother's sister... if that makes sense), who is a recovering A, is my guide through my own sober journey. She is teaching me the importance of "lovingly detaching"... though it may be sad and hard to do... she is teaching me that it is ok... you can pick your friends... you cannot pick your family... so true!!