serious

it's been a rough few weeks (death in the family, relationship and financial problems)... wait.. i could give you a billion more excuses as to what and why it happened today.

after months of being sober i (once again) decided to have a beer. it's been about a week now, since that one beer, and the pattern is the same... i stared off with control and thoughtfulness... i kept on working out and generally speaking enjoying life.

even went for a morning run today.

yet, it's about 10:30AM here... and I am pretty much wasted.
sweating and excited from the exercise i figured to stop by a convenience store.
oh, i got water to keep hydrated...but also a bunch of wine, to keep me "going".

let me add a little more ridiculous stuff to the mix, so you don't dare think that you are the one that have it "the worst". i used to think that. we are all in the same sinking boat, as long as we keep drinking.

i have a job interview in 2 hrs and all i can think about is how i'll be able to consume just the right amount of liquor so i can "survive" it, without appearing too much drunk. insanity? yes!

not really looking for compassion, perhaps more of a kick in the butt... 'cause i deserve it.

i've been here before. i swore it would be the last time.
i just hope anyone who is contemplating that "i've managed so well, i can do it" drink will never actually follow through.

alcohol is so tempting and so evil. i'm sorry to have failed you

happyhour

i i were you, i'd cancel the interview. and start over tomorrow.

sometimes, we pick the most inopportune times to drink, i don't understand

good luck, and i am glad you posted, i think many can relate.

huntingtontx

You have not failed us. We have all been less then sober or we would not be here. You know what you have to do, and it has nothing to having the right amount of wine. Dump the poison down the sink, pull yourself up and get on with the sober life. It is a bump in the road, but the sober road is still in front of you. Good luck on the job interview. Stay sober for it, and maybe it will be your new job. Praying for you.

Lightning Bug

You need to cancel that interview. People usually do not know how drunk they look and act - you have no way of knowing how you will be perceived. Don't go to the store - and don't drink and drive!

AlefVavResh

Thank you for the reminder. This was where I failed the last time.

You haven't failed us. Just yourself really. But you can start again. I do hope you survive your interview. Do you think you were sabotaging yourself in regards to the interview?

huntingtontx

You need to cancel that interview. People usually do not know how drunk they look and act - you have no way of knowing how you will be perceived. Don't go to the store - and don't drink and drive!


I did not notice that you are drunk now, so do what earthsteps suggests. Don't drink and drive. Thanks earthsteps, I missed that.

lorelei

Hi serious,
sometimes we self sabotage when something good is going to happen or is happening. cut your losses, forget todays interview, going half cut will be a lot worse than cancelling it.

have a think about loss of control. .. if theres no off switch there can be no on one...

keep yourself safe x

serious

thank you everyone for giving me a little hope.

the thing is this interview is useless (or at least that's how i see it). i have a great job and this was more of "test myself" see where i stand type of thing. wasn't even interested in getting the job to be honest.

maybe it's some sort of sign.

i'll try to cancel it... i am well dressed, well looking... but i'm drunk. and there's no masking it. not in my mind.

jdooner

Going to the interview drunk has the potential to perhaps get back to your current employer if this interview is at a competitor. Call them and say your sick - whatever you do don't show up (better to do a no show) - it will come back to haunt you down the road.

360shoes

Hi Serious,
That was me too. I always drank right before something important. Always! You just reminded me of that. I would always say that not every time I drank I didn't always drink too much but now...yep, I always drank before I did something a reasonable person would never consider drinking before.

I'm sorry you have to go through this again but I think we all have been there. You can stop. You did it before and you can do it again! I had my fair share of attempts too.

It's a new day and you learned a new lesson that if you use wisely, it will just give you even more resolve. Now go try this again. You can do it!!

phoebe64

Do not go to the interview drunk. They will know and you should not drive drunk. That is the first order of business. I am an alcoholic, yet I would notice a drunk interviewee, and smell them, and I would NOT be impressed.

That is the best advice I have now as I am not long enough sober on this journey to give you any other wisdom at present. I hope you can get rid of your wine and start fresh today.

serious

thank you for the words of wisdom. (interview canceled).
what was i thinking? (show up with half a bottle of wine in my system). plus an encouraging shot of vodka in the car.

idiot.

lorelei

good move serious, now can you have some food, water?

serious

yah, i'm definitely having a good breakfast. and thankfully i didn't let it slide far enough where i'm crawling to the toilet (oh the good ol' days).

just hope i can stop today.

i know i can.

lorelei

you can, stop now. damage limitation, get rid of whatever's left, and drink lots of water, you know the drill

huntingtontx

I have faith in you Serious. You can do this. One day at a time. We are all here for you.

abwvu1

what she said.

Stop now. For good. Before some unfortunate event FORCES you to quit.

It's never too late.

phoebe64

Just eat and go have a nap. No more drinking.

Anna

I'm glad you cancelled the interview. There is such a disconnect between what we think we can do when we are drunk and what we really can do.

I hope you can decide that alcohol is no longer an option.

EndGameNYC

The thing that troubles me most about all this is what would you have told yourself had you successfully completed the interview? Would this mean that it's okay to drink at work or other places where doing to so would otherwise be harmful to you? To others? Would you then find a way to give yourself permission to drink or to excuse your drinking because you're able to "get away with it?"

Alcoholism is very insidious. A question frequently asked in recovery circles is, "Am I moving away from a drink? Or am I moving towards a drink?"