Only my shadow
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Only my shadow
Only my shadow walks beside me. Beside a great lyric from Green Day it's a feeling I have had for a long time now. Since I was a kid.
The aloneness of my life was palpable for much of my youth and early adulthood. So much so that when drinking and drugs came alone, for me it was early 30's, I was intoxicated by the new club I had been admitted to.... The drunk and druggy club.... More than the drug of choice. I was popular all at once. I could spend money and people followed me.
As the saying goes... I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member.
Trouble was I never even knew I joined.... But I am sure my shadow knew.
Funny thing about shadows. They cannot be seen in the dim lights of a bar or in a dark car as we make the exchange.
There is a time of day as the sun sets that I like to call long shadow time. I loved most, when as a kid, on a crisp fall day my shadow is distorted into unrecognizable shapes on the ground. There was a simple joy in that.
I lost track of the goodness in my shadow for a long long time. No crisp fall days to remind me. I was drunk and high for over a decade.
I said in another post that my addictions are my shadow. A shadow that can only be see in the bright light of my future.
My journey to learn how to live a sober life has been drawn out and continues. I have a bright light to walk towards these days. My addictions may very well be my shadow but the prize for me are those crisp fall days and the fun at looking at long shadows dance once again.
K
The aloneness of my life was palpable for much of my youth and early adulthood. So much so that when drinking and drugs came alone, for me it was early 30's, I was intoxicated by the new club I had been admitted to.... The drunk and druggy club.... More than the drug of choice. I was popular all at once. I could spend money and people followed me.
As the saying goes... I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member.
Trouble was I never even knew I joined.... But I am sure my shadow knew.
Funny thing about shadows. They cannot be seen in the dim lights of a bar or in a dark car as we make the exchange.
There is a time of day as the sun sets that I like to call long shadow time. I loved most, when as a kid, on a crisp fall day my shadow is distorted into unrecognizable shapes on the ground. There was a simple joy in that.
I lost track of the goodness in my shadow for a long long time. No crisp fall days to remind me. I was drunk and high for over a decade.
I said in another post that my addictions are my shadow. A shadow that can only be see in the bright light of my future.
My journey to learn how to live a sober life has been drawn out and continues. I have a bright light to walk towards these days. My addictions may very well be my shadow but the prize for me are those crisp fall days and the fun at looking at long shadows dance once again.
K
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