Struggling
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mankato, MN
Posts: 14
Struggling
I have struggled with alcohol abuse for many years, and lost my marriage last year because of it. I have done better for awhile - drinking only on weekends, etc. but have come to the conclusion that I need to quit drinking all together - although I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I tried AA before but wasn't at all comfortable with it. I see a therapist and am on anti-depressant medication, but when the weekends come around I am VERY challenged to stay sober. Any support anyone can offer would be much appreciated, as I know this is going to be a mighty task. I have so much remorse from my marriage and I moved to a new state where I live alone and have few friends and no family. I am horrifically lonely here. The one bright spot is that my career is going relatively well, but I'm afraid drinking my jeopardize it unless I quit. I am terrified that I am going to end up alone for the rest of my life.
StPatrickGirl -
I can feel the emotional pain in your post. I want to let you know you're not alone. I also want to let you know that there are a bunch of alternatives programs to AA that you can try if you're not comfortable with it.
It's great that you are coming here to post. KEEP posting. It helps. I quit once before for 4 months, and well - I relapsed. That was 3 years ago. I'm now on Day 2, and I am so determined this time. You've got to want this for yourself. And I know you can do it!!
I can feel the emotional pain in your post. I want to let you know you're not alone. I also want to let you know that there are a bunch of alternatives programs to AA that you can try if you're not comfortable with it.
It's great that you are coming here to post. KEEP posting. It helps. I quit once before for 4 months, and well - I relapsed. That was 3 years ago. I'm now on Day 2, and I am so determined this time. You've got to want this for yourself. And I know you can do it!!
I have struggled with alcohol abuse for many years, and lost my marriage last year because of it. I have done better for awhile - drinking only on weekends, etc. but have come to the conclusion that I need to quit drinking all together - although I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I tried AA before but wasn't at all comfortable with it. I see a therapist and am on anti-depressant medication, but when the weekends come around I am VERY challenged to stay sober. Any support anyone can offer would be much appreciated, as I know this is going to be a mighty task. I have so much remorse from my marriage and I moved to a new state where I live alone and have few friends and no family. I am horrifically lonely here. The one bright spot is that my career is going relatively well, but I'm afraid drinking my jeopardize it unless I quit. I am terrified that I am going to end up alone for the rest of my life.
Check this site often, there are lots of non AA advice and some programs, check the secular recovery part of the forum. There may be a non AA recovery program or support group in your area.
Good luck.
Welcome!
I'm glad you are going to stop drinking. My advice is to plan and plan again. Since the weekends are tough times, make a plan to do something different. Maybe you need to do some work around the house, take a day trip somewhere before the 'summer' ends, start a new course, do something that will keep you from drinking for even a few moments. And, know for sure that you can do this!
I'm glad you are going to stop drinking. My advice is to plan and plan again. Since the weekends are tough times, make a plan to do something different. Maybe you need to do some work around the house, take a day trip somewhere before the 'summer' ends, start a new course, do something that will keep you from drinking for even a few moments. And, know for sure that you can do this!
Hi Stpatrickgirl, welcome to SR.
Weekends were a struggle for me before when I was a "weekend drinker", what helped is to make plans on the weekend as Anna suggested. Don't just make plans with yourself though--make plans with someone that's willing to be sober with you. That way you are accountable to that person, not just yourself.
Also, I'm not sure where you are, but I'm sure if you take some time to look around, there's a huge recovery community that will welcome you with open arms. When you get involved with a recovery community and start making connections, you will be much less lonely. I would start to research recovery programs in your area. Smart Recovery is secular and they have meetings in many cities across the U.S.
I know you don't feel comfortable with AA, and that's totally understandable, I felt the same way at first. I've struggled to find other programs that are as popular as AA in my area, so even though I wasn't comfortable with all the ideas they present, I still went to AA meetings just for that added support. It's a good way to meet other recovering alcoholics/addicts, even if you're not working the steps. As they say, "take what you need and leave the rest." Not trying to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with, it's just that for those really struggling, there's usually multiple meetings a day and so many people out there willing to help, wherever you are.
Weekends were a struggle for me before when I was a "weekend drinker", what helped is to make plans on the weekend as Anna suggested. Don't just make plans with yourself though--make plans with someone that's willing to be sober with you. That way you are accountable to that person, not just yourself.
Also, I'm not sure where you are, but I'm sure if you take some time to look around, there's a huge recovery community that will welcome you with open arms. When you get involved with a recovery community and start making connections, you will be much less lonely. I would start to research recovery programs in your area. Smart Recovery is secular and they have meetings in many cities across the U.S.
I know you don't feel comfortable with AA, and that's totally understandable, I felt the same way at first. I've struggled to find other programs that are as popular as AA in my area, so even though I wasn't comfortable with all the ideas they present, I still went to AA meetings just for that added support. It's a good way to meet other recovering alcoholics/addicts, even if you're not working the steps. As they say, "take what you need and leave the rest." Not trying to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with, it's just that for those really struggling, there's usually multiple meetings a day and so many people out there willing to help, wherever you are.
Hi and welcome stpatrickgirl
I agree with Anna - if weekends are your problem, then plan ahead for next weekend now - think about support, and think about making changes that will help you stay sober
D
I agree with Anna - if weekends are your problem, then plan ahead for next weekend now - think about support, and think about making changes that will help you stay sober
D
Weekends plans
I can certainly understand your anxiety. My worst drinking are on the weekends and when I am alone. Its gotten much better. I was also always worried that I would lose my job because of drinking and came close a few times. Now I plan my weekends down to the nth detail to make sure I am busy and that I am never alone for too long. Go to an AA meeting, a movie, coffee break, gym or just a pleasant walk at the times when you usually feel like a drink. Distract the mind and keep busy ! Hang in there.
It sounds like you are lonely and bored on weekends, so you drink to fill time. You've got a good job, that's great. You've admitted that alcohol is a problem, and that's an important first step. Now it's time to break out of your shell. Start adding things, a little at a time, to fill up your weekends. Celebrate Recovery is a wonderful group that usually meets on Friday night's. It is a Christian 12 Step, but meetings are fun, as well as helpful. I love it and always look forward to spending my Friday night there. What about volunteering at a food bank or shelter? Do you have a pet? It's simple, but a dog can get you out on walks, to obedience classes, to a dog park. A bike club, hiking club... I'm sure that when you put your mind to it, you can think of a few things that appeal to you. I know in recovery sometimes the last thing you want to do is be Miss Social Butterfly, but just a few scheduled weekend activities could make a big difference, and help you meet some people, too!
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