8 years sober and struggling!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Hi Amanda. You have nothing to feel bad about. You suffer from a disease and, for a brief moment, it got to you. The important thing is you realize you made a slip and you are steadfast on sticking to not drinking again. The most dangerous part after making a slip is falling down the cliff. Instead, grab onto that branch sticking out and pull yourself back up. Sending good thoughts your way!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Amanda, I agree completely with totfit...You must not think "Well there goes my eight years of sobriety, down the drain". That's one of the few things I don't like about AA, this obsession with ticking off each day and hoarding it away like a squirrel storing nuts for winter. You still have many years of sobriety under your belt, and you are no better or worse than the guy who has twenty years, or the guy who has twenty days. If it's truly "One day at a time", then today is what matters, not the pile of old days we're dragging behind us.
You made a very human mistake. After such a long time, you begin to forget what truly craving alcohol felt like. So the next logical thought is "I must not have a problem anymore!". So you try out your little theory, get your a** kicked yet again by the demon rum, and return to your sober life, sadder but wiser. Hopefully tomorrow you'll feel better.
You made a very human mistake. After such a long time, you begin to forget what truly craving alcohol felt like. So the next logical thought is "I must not have a problem anymore!". So you try out your little theory, get your a** kicked yet again by the demon rum, and return to your sober life, sadder but wiser. Hopefully tomorrow you'll feel better.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
As others have said, Amanda - you haven't lost those 8 years - everything you learnt, and accomplished is still there...
Lets not make it into an AA issue.
I counted days, and restarted counts, and I've never been to AA in my life.
I don't see where Amanda mentions AA at all, and this is the forum for recovery method debates anyway.
D
Lets not make it into an AA issue.
I counted days, and restarted counts, and I've never been to AA in my life.
I don't see where Amanda mentions AA at all, and this is the forum for recovery method debates anyway.
D
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
The thing I don't get is why family gets disappointed when someone relapses. Alcoholism is a disease! If you got cancer and were in remission for 8 years, would your family be disappointed in you if the cancer came back? No! They would recognize it as a disease that cannot be controlled by you alone.
Question: Amanda, how did you cope with rough situations without relapsing during the last 8 years?
Question: Amanda, how did you cope with rough situations without relapsing during the last 8 years?
AmandaUK
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northampton, UK
Posts: 21
Thank you all so much for your posts, I'm feeling much better today and was even able to prepar dinner for me and my husband... And yes, I actually managed to eat something!
For me, AA was not part of my recovery. I spent some time in a psychiatric ward which is actually where I did my detox and looking back, although many said I didn't belong there, I think that it helped. It made me humble again and actually thankful that a lot of my problems could, with hard work, be helped. There were many people in that hospital who severely struggle with their own mind permenantly, a lot who cannot be helped with medication or counselling etc. Something happened next that I will always be grateful of... a 'by chance' meeting of a guy who managed a small rehab in my town was a visiting speaker at a drop in centre I went to a couple of times after my detox. He ran an inpatient rehab for only 8 people but he asked if I would like to attend as a day patient and that was the beginning... I attended 5 days per week, different therapy groups, learning about the masks I use to the outside world, my perfectionist attitude, my all or nothing thinking etc. There was a women's group I found particularly helpful and one2one sessions with my counsellor. The biggest change came when after 6 months I decided I would not go back to mr career in London, the big house, smart car and image meant so little to me now. So I got myself a tiny little cottage in the village my parents live and carried on with my rehab. After a couple of years, I was able to drop a couple of the therapy groups which gave me a couple of days a week to myself. Rather than sitting around twiddling my thumbs and giving myself too much time to think, I started a voluntary job at a local school helping 6-7 years olds with their reading. Soon enough, weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I was never discharged from rehab, it's not what this particular rehab likes to do... as far as they are concerned, you are part of their programme until you decide you're strong enough to do 'life' without them. So here we are today, a totally different life with none of the pressures I had in London. A little house, a little car, a job in the local jewellers shop, now married, 8 years sober (other than my slip on Saturday.. Grrrrr) and not been back to rehab for 4 years. After reading all your wonderful messages of support I've decided, this past weekend was a blip, not a significant part of my life, it hasn't changed me - other than to remind me that I cannot have 'just one' and like my mum said to me yesterday, if we have you sober for even a year before a blip, then it's not the end of the world, we live with it get over it and get straight back on that horse.
Thanks everyone
Much love x
For me, AA was not part of my recovery. I spent some time in a psychiatric ward which is actually where I did my detox and looking back, although many said I didn't belong there, I think that it helped. It made me humble again and actually thankful that a lot of my problems could, with hard work, be helped. There were many people in that hospital who severely struggle with their own mind permenantly, a lot who cannot be helped with medication or counselling etc. Something happened next that I will always be grateful of... a 'by chance' meeting of a guy who managed a small rehab in my town was a visiting speaker at a drop in centre I went to a couple of times after my detox. He ran an inpatient rehab for only 8 people but he asked if I would like to attend as a day patient and that was the beginning... I attended 5 days per week, different therapy groups, learning about the masks I use to the outside world, my perfectionist attitude, my all or nothing thinking etc. There was a women's group I found particularly helpful and one2one sessions with my counsellor. The biggest change came when after 6 months I decided I would not go back to mr career in London, the big house, smart car and image meant so little to me now. So I got myself a tiny little cottage in the village my parents live and carried on with my rehab. After a couple of years, I was able to drop a couple of the therapy groups which gave me a couple of days a week to myself. Rather than sitting around twiddling my thumbs and giving myself too much time to think, I started a voluntary job at a local school helping 6-7 years olds with their reading. Soon enough, weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I was never discharged from rehab, it's not what this particular rehab likes to do... as far as they are concerned, you are part of their programme until you decide you're strong enough to do 'life' without them. So here we are today, a totally different life with none of the pressures I had in London. A little house, a little car, a job in the local jewellers shop, now married, 8 years sober (other than my slip on Saturday.. Grrrrr) and not been back to rehab for 4 years. After reading all your wonderful messages of support I've decided, this past weekend was a blip, not a significant part of my life, it hasn't changed me - other than to remind me that I cannot have 'just one' and like my mum said to me yesterday, if we have you sober for even a year before a blip, then it's not the end of the world, we live with it get over it and get straight back on that horse.
Thanks everyone
Much love x
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