RJY9

Seeing friends tonight and all will be drinking except for me. This is a scary thought but at the same time quite a refreshing one. I plan to get stoned, eat pizza and drink energy drinks lol I should be able to have an equally good night this way. One step at a time.

I am on day 24 and I am very pleased with myself for getting this far.

I am aware that some of you will now come back with negative comme nts regarding getting stoned. Please don't as I like it and its not an issue in my life that makes bad things happen. Alcohol is on the hand.

Peace.

RJY9

I ment.. Alcohol is on the other hand bad for my life.

smacked

We all have our own definition of "recovery" I suppose. Keep in mind, however.. there are people on this site that have had their lives all but destroyed by "getting stoned" too, and posting about it is a bit disrespectful, in my opinion.. a lot of us are fighting for our lives to stay clean/sober and it's hard to respond thoughtfully with such an in your face gloating about it.

pinkdog

Hi RJ, great job on 24 days no alcohol. If the alcohol begins to bother you, please leave. You can always go out later. Best wishes.

RJY9

Thought this place was about being honest about what you are doing, did do, aren't going to do etc. I will say what I like. Are you going to say that to the next person that says that they are going to drink again or are still drinking incase this offends an acholic trying to recover? If that's the case then maybe your in the wrong place.

Nattythreads

Generally this place is about being mindful and respectful as well.

lorelei

Hey RJ.
I think smacked just meant what one persons enjoyment can be another poison. Its just being mindful of others x

Have a nice evening, becareful tho, you have an addictive personality it would be easy for it to get out of control, and Im not judging, just caring
L x

doggonecarl

Not a problem...unless it leads to drinking.

After 10 years a hard-core pot smoker, I quit, but kept drinking because alcohol wasn't my problem. I was naive about recovery and addiction. Twenty five years later, I'm on SR, three years sober from the very substance that wasn't my problem.

Maybe you're the exception. Tread lightly. And watch yourself tonight.

Twofish

Hi RJ, If this works for you, well it works for you. My child on the other hand, if she were to say, drink some wine, instead of shooting up some Heroin, I believe she would be right back to where she came from. She is 5 weeks clean and is so proud of herself. But she isn't fooling anyone, she misses the buzz, the numbing of emotions that addiction gives to her. She almost died from her addictions and these good feelings. If you plan to get stoned, maybe keep in mind, that you can plan on not getting stoned? Just a thought for you to think about tonight. Good luck and stay safe.

Mentium

All the best to you RJ, but I can't help but notice that your evening out is a 'scary thought' to you. I assume scary in case you are tempted to drink. Nobody here, from my short experience, will tell you what to do but I know if I was struggling with drinking the last thing I would do is go out with a bunch of boozing buddies. Hopefully you have more self control than I know I would in that situation. In any case good luck!

RJY9

I apologise Smacked for being rude. I understand what you mean. Will bear it in mind in future.

RJY9

Thanks Mentium. I have avoided all my friends so far and I am doing this tonight because I will end up with no social life at all. I've got this by the balls now and don't have any desire to drink today or ever again.

duane1

Good luck RJY9! Provide yourself with an exit plan just in case. Does anyone at the party know of your problem with alcohol? I went to events with alcohol around the 3-4 week period of my recovery and survived, but it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be going into it.

longbeachone

I don't have a problem with anything you choose to do, as long as you know absolutely that it won't lead you back to drinking. My only question is does getting high affect your judgement? Does it make you so relaxed that you could say "What the heck, I can handle it, might as well have a drink". Only you know this for sure.

My Dr is always pushing medical marijuana for my illness (RSD), and I just don't like the way it makes me feel, so I can understand that it would not be a trigger. Have fun, and have some pizza for me!!

IWLSAST

Hi rjy9,

Today I think I am somewhere around 94, or 95 days sober. The exact number at this so very low level on this total sobriety journey that it really is unimportant to me. You might also note that I joined this site in Nov 2010. Not 90ish days ago. Had I been sober since then I would be like 1035.

Even more troubling to me is that I once went 11.5 years free from "alcohol". That started 23 years back. While I was alcohol free for something like 4,195 days. Had I not EVER relapse, I would now have been sober 8,390 days...give or take a few.

So what the heck am I saying. Well, in my 8th year of TOTAL sobriety I decided to smoke a joint. Actually toked quite infrequently after that...like a few times a year. Yes, I cracked that door open. Then thought I, if a little pot is okay, why not the occasional toot. Again, just a few times a year. That door creaked open even further. The final straw was 180 Percocet's following open heart surgery (TAKEN AS DIRECTED, yea, sure...perhaps for a normal person). That flung the door wide open. About three months after that, while seated at a dinner party, I decided to take that ONE glass of red wine. That f'n door was now of the hinges. I was free to now enter the real darkness of a crippling addiction and deep depression.

Well, a bit more that eleven years following that one simple glass of wine, 70or so relapses later, I am still trying to find the answer that can put me over 20,000 days of sobriety and beyond. During that time I have pretty much lost many of the things that I held near and dear.

Every toke, every snort, every pain pill was my roadmap to near total destruction. By many accounts, should have landed me on the other side of the ground that I stand on. Maybe the ONLY reason I am still here on the right side of the ground today was to tell you this story?

I saw that you joined here in Mar of 2012. Not 24 days ago. What do you plan to do differently to avoid where you were 25 days ago? Just think, you could be at day 540 or so.

For me, total sobriety is a precious gift I can give myself every day. I am certain that any attempt at moderation of any substance will bring out the backhoe at Grandview cemetery. I want to touch and play with my someday grandkids (fingers crossed as typed)...not watch over them from above.

My honest a sincere best to you rj moving forward!

Lightning Bug

"I'm getting stoned tonight."
"I am getting wasted tonight."
"I am shooting up tonight."
"I am eating some pills tonight"
"I'm tripping out tonight"
"I am smoking a whole carton tonight"
"I am watching hardcore porn tonight"
"I am binge eating tonight"
"I am having a threesome with my partner and a monkey"

I guess if it isn't a problem for you, then feel free. But announcing it on a recovery site is, in my opinion, disrespectful to others.

Have fun.

breath

The need to alter our mental state is the core of the disease. I lovingly disagree that your lifestyle can in any way be called sober. Take Care, be wise.

Nattythreads

I've pretty much worked my way through the list but even I was never wasted enough to give the last one a go

doggonecarl

"I've got this..." Wonder how many times these words have launched a relapse.

I'm glad you're confident. But you are 24 days sober. And you've struggled to get that. So please don't underestimate the strength of your addiction.

I hope you come back and report all is well.

Eleni58

The need to get high and not be able to have a good time completely sober is very telling in my opinion.