Six years in CoDA
 

I am not an alcoholic. I was glad to find that out.I am aware, and I do admit that for a long time, I abused alcohol by self medicating the mental and emotional impacts of my tragic codependence. At an utter loss of knowing where to turn, I stumbled into my first Codependents Anonymous (coda.org) six years ago. At that first meeting the term "boundaries" was used over and over. Litetally, I had no idea what word they were saying. The program has been life changing for me. Through being dedicated and intentional, I gradually internalized the FACT that I am a man with the resources and capability of taking care of myself. I do not need to abandon myself to please others so they will take care of me emotionally. I can take care of myself just fine. I am not a desperate and panicked little boy anymore, who has no resources other than my own behavior. I am a man well capable of "driving my bus", so the little boy no longer needs to struggle trying to handle it. But, what was key for me, and ended my 25 years of abusing alcohol almost overnight was when I realized that not only was I capable of taking care of myself, but it is MY RESPONSIBILITY toke take care of myself. Once I understood that, and accepted that responsibility, I began to really take care of myself. I understood for the first time that it is not selfish to take care omf yourself. Quite the opposite. I stopped drinking almost overnight, so I realized the I was not addicted to the substance, which was a relief. That was 3 years ago. Recently, I have come to understand that I had confused having no boundaries with unconditional love, which had disastrous results.

welcome brmk :)

I'm glad you found the solution to your problem :)

D