At a crossroads
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Clemence - we're so glad you found us. 
I was lost and alone with my troubles when I found SR. Somehow, knowing others understood made all the difference to me. Once I was able to talk openly about my feelings it removed a huge burden. I gradually built up the courage to stop all together. It was no fun in the end - just a miserable habit that brought me no joy.
Be proud of yourself for facing this and coming here to share your thoughts. I hope this will be the beginning of a whole new life for you.
I was lost and alone with my troubles when I found SR. Somehow, knowing others understood made all the difference to me. Once I was able to talk openly about my feelings it removed a huge burden. I gradually built up the courage to stop all together. It was no fun in the end - just a miserable habit that brought me no joy.
Be proud of yourself for facing this and coming here to share your thoughts. I hope this will be the beginning of a whole new life for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Hi Clemence. I never drank before 7pm or much later than midnight. Never once during the day and was always 100% sober at work, albeit with a hangover. I never drove drunk. I was never arrested. I don't go to bars. I don't offend anybody when I'm drinking because I do it alone.
I still have a problem.
I still have a problem.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR! That fear you feel isn't the "you" part of you, it's your Beast/Addictive Voice. It's terrified that you've unlocked the secret, the secret to taking control of your life back. The Beast has no power to act on it's own- it can only trick, cajole or badger you into feeding it. But with AVRT you will have all the power and the Beast will have none.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 28
Hi Clemence
I'm a newbie too and have been welcomed warmly since arriving. I can really relate to your forgetting when you went to bed. That was one of the scariest things for me. I didn't even drink that much (although when I did, hoo!) so forgetting going to bed after one or two glasses of wine really freaked me out. I thought I was getting Alzheimer's.
I don't even know if I'm able to call myself an alcoholic tbh. It doesn't sit right with me. However it is absolutely true that I have a problem with drinking and that it doesn't agree with me, therefore I have stopped and won't ever drink again.
Of course when I say that, I get the little voice saying 'really. Isn't that a bit drastic, you are fine! So you had one or two crazy nights recently, that happens to everyone. You don't want people to think you've a drinking problem so you! Better have one."
When that happens I try to recognize that that isn't rational me speaking. It's the part of me that wants to drink no matter what the consequences are. And I am not going to do what it says because I am the one in control and not my random urges.
I am reading "rational recovery" at the moment and its very good. It has some great descriptions and has opened my eyes. This site is also wonderful.
Someone said to me when I first posted - that people who don't have a drinking problem don't search for recovery sites. If you suspect you have an issue, you probably do. It's your rational, intelligent mind understanding that you should stop.
All the best.
I'm a newbie too and have been welcomed warmly since arriving. I can really relate to your forgetting when you went to bed. That was one of the scariest things for me. I didn't even drink that much (although when I did, hoo!) so forgetting going to bed after one or two glasses of wine really freaked me out. I thought I was getting Alzheimer's.
I don't even know if I'm able to call myself an alcoholic tbh. It doesn't sit right with me. However it is absolutely true that I have a problem with drinking and that it doesn't agree with me, therefore I have stopped and won't ever drink again.
Of course when I say that, I get the little voice saying 'really. Isn't that a bit drastic, you are fine! So you had one or two crazy nights recently, that happens to everyone. You don't want people to think you've a drinking problem so you! Better have one."
When that happens I try to recognize that that isn't rational me speaking. It's the part of me that wants to drink no matter what the consequences are. And I am not going to do what it says because I am the one in control and not my random urges.
I am reading "rational recovery" at the moment and its very good. It has some great descriptions and has opened my eyes. This site is also wonderful.
Someone said to me when I first posted - that people who don't have a drinking problem don't search for recovery sites. If you suspect you have an issue, you probably do. It's your rational, intelligent mind understanding that you should stop.
All the best.
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