AM37

Hi, I joined this site about a month ago and successfully gave up drinking for ten days. I was amazed at myself. My husband started to acknowledge me again instead of looking at me with anger, there was no bad atmosphere in the home, i was enjoying my children and although I had to keep myself occupied and used this site for support I felt flipping great.

However, one Sunday on my way home from work, the sun shining, the children were sleeping at grandparents, there was a music festival on in my local area that my husband had been at since mid afternoon and......yes you guessed it, I convinced myself that I didn't have an issue with drink and that I could control it. It made me happy, I enjoyed it, I should be able to enjoy a drink with my husband, what did I think i was going to do when I met up with friends who all drink? Stay Sober? What was I thinking? So I drank, had an okay night out but nothing spectacular and I woke up rough as hell the next day and, of course, swore never again.

Yet here I am, over a week later knowing that I was stupid to have caved into the desire and am on day 2 of, what is hopefully, the last road to recovery. There is no question about wanting to never drink again but I do question how people socialise around drinking friends and enjoy the night as much as possible. Do you always have in your mind that you battling against buying a drink when you are out? Did you wait until you felt strong before you went out in the company of drinkers? If so, how long? any advice about anything is welcomed. I will succeed this time or I will lose my husband and break my children's hearts but I will need the support of you out there. Thanks for reading.

AlefVavResh

Hang on to this and cherish it. Maybe post it on your wall or on your computer background.

Then stick around here

FourSeasons

Hi AM37, I too agree with AlefVavResh that you should hand on an cherish how great you felt while you were not drinking. Next time you find yourself in a similar situation, then you should think the drink through. Take a moment and think what will most happen and how you will most likely feel about yourself if you have that one drink.

Then compare these two states of mind. I bet you will really appreciate the first state and work towards maintaining it!!

AM37

Thank you

PippoRossi

Hi, AM37. I'm happy to see you posting here on SR. When I drank I used to drink alone, not in a group of people so I haven't really been in your situation. That being said, on at least two occassions I've been around people drinking (once at a company Christmas party and once at a dinner at my best friend's house). I can honestly tell you that I found being around drunk people absolutely ANNOYING. I didn't feel like I was missing out at all. In fact, exactly the opposite. I didn't feel better than them, I was just very thankful that I wasn't drinking any longer. You may also get to this point when you are the only sober one in the bunch. You may find you no longer enjoy that whole scene when you aren't drinking. Or, you might just need to learn to enjoy the moment without alcohol, despite what others may be doing. I hope this helps.

AM37

Thanks PippoRossi. Maybe I will find new things to enjoy or maybe they are already there it is just so long since I have done them!

AM

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back AM

For me, I did not go out or socialize in the early weeks as knew I would not have been able to abstain. Although I got sober just before Christmas and hadChristmas day at my house, I broke it down into hours, checked on SR regularly and drank water. I look back now and see I was a nervous wreck but tell myself if I can get through Christmas I can get through any event. I thought I'd always feel on edge but you don't. It eases as time passes.

Now I can go out though tbh prefer not to go to pubs or places where the main focus is drinking. I just don't see the point and have better things to do. being around drinkers doesn't bother me in the sense I want a drink but I don't want to spend my time round a load ofdrunks. I think as you get sober you realize who your real friends are v your drinking buddies who will soon disappear. Now it's not a battle. My mindset has changed though. It's not as though I want to drink and fighting it.I genuinely prefer to be sober and don't want a drink.It was a very gradual thing and everyone is different

hope this helps

ReadyAtLast

I've had the exact same experience at 2 recent dinner parties where I was the only one not drinking

AM37

Thanks Ready at Last. I like the idea of counting the hours as I am going on holiday at the end of October with family and they like a drink. Also, you are right - why would i want to be somewhere where the focus is drinking alcohol? Talk about me not seeing the wood for the trees!

AM

Dee74

Welcome back AM

I waited until I felt strong enough - I think the amount of time varies - but I waited until I knew that nothing or noone would sway me.

I did other non alcoholic things until I felt that strength - went out for coffee, pizza, movies, indulged a few hobbies...

D

Sasha4

I have done 3 holidays sober, 2 all inclusive, so as much nasty drink as you can pour down your neck from 10am to 11pm.

I took it one day at a time.
I did not think I have seven days to get through without drinking. Is going to be hell.
I would wake up and think, today I will not drink. If I really want to I can have drink tomorrow. Just not today.

And it worked for me!

I also kept reminding myself I was choosing to drink.
If I wanted to drink, I could, I was just choosing not to. It was not forbidden it was my choice.

That way I also did not feel I was crossing the sober days off until I went home. I did not wish my holiday away. I did have a good time.

I totally agree with the drunken annoying people. Nothing more to give you the green light to never drink again.
Overly emotional, slobbering, repetitive, lack of personal space realisation, staggering and burping puts me off for life now!

I wish you the best xxxx