Learning how to put your sobriety first
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Learning how to put your sobriety first
I've been doing some reflecting today on what the last month has entailed and one of the biggest "AH HA !" moments I have had is how I drank because I put everyone needs ahead of mine.
This was evidenced per my DH's declaration that he would not be at work from Wednesday on, because he has a colonoscopy. To which I bewilderedly looked at him and said "Huh. That is 3 days more than I took off in my entire first month of sobriety."
And let me tell you, I was freaking SICK. Like serious as a heart attack sick. Nausea, dizziness, heart palpitations, anxiety, blood pressure problems, equilibrium issues, blobbity blah blah. And I stupidly muscled through them (STUPID STUPID STUPID!) because we own a business and if we aren't there, well, you know the rest.
This was a HUGE eye opener for me.
It also exemplified how freaking strong we boozers are.
That we face(d) every day with a raging hangover, pretending that we were fine, all was well.
All the while being totally convinced, I'm dying.
NO really, I WAS DYING.
End Rant.
This was evidenced per my DH's declaration that he would not be at work from Wednesday on, because he has a colonoscopy. To which I bewilderedly looked at him and said "Huh. That is 3 days more than I took off in my entire first month of sobriety."
And let me tell you, I was freaking SICK. Like serious as a heart attack sick. Nausea, dizziness, heart palpitations, anxiety, blood pressure problems, equilibrium issues, blobbity blah blah. And I stupidly muscled through them (STUPID STUPID STUPID!) because we own a business and if we aren't there, well, you know the rest.
This was a HUGE eye opener for me.
It also exemplified how freaking strong we boozers are.
That we face(d) every day with a raging hangover, pretending that we were fine, all was well.
All the while being totally convinced, I'm dying.
NO really, I WAS DYING.
End Rant.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
AO...
from what i know of you, you exemplify 'strong'! i love that!
i didn't realize your detox was so bad... i am so grateful you made it through that.
3 days for a colonoscopy, huh? (i ain't saying nothing!!!) you just keep going with your bad self, friend!!!!
from what i know of you, you exemplify 'strong'! i love that!
i didn't realize your detox was so bad... i am so grateful you made it through that.
3 days for a colonoscopy, huh? (i ain't saying nothing!!!) you just keep going with your bad self, friend!!!!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
We're learning how to skillfully deal with a killer problem , it supprises me how much people downplay it and treat it as though it were less than a summer cold and not a killer .
Stay strong alpha ,
Bestwishes, m
Stay strong alpha ,
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
And let me tell you, I was freaking SICK. Like serious as a heart attack sick. Nausea, dizziness, heart palpitations, anxiety, blood pressure problems, equilibrium issues, blobbity blah blah.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Hi AO .. PS... You are exactly 15 days ahead of me. Today starts my third week, 15 days!! My urges have been peaking all day. Up to today, it has been a breeze for me. Today, I want to cave but I am not going to. I reread your post from yesterday and admire your determination not to drink at the BBQ. Your post and the strength you showed helped me today so thank-you!!!
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Hi FS ! Thank you for saying that. It somehow makes the battle more valiant when you see the honor of knowing that your struggle (and triumph) empowers another to fight their dragon.
My experience was things got interesting after 2 weeks. I swear all the immediate physical benefits took a turn right around that time. It was almost as if my body started to trust the process that I meant business this time. I have been Tested in almost every way possible I the last 2 weeks. Like - How bad do you really want this ?!
So be prepared to sharpen your sword. Look away if you have to, find your resolve, and remember, you are in a battle for your life.
Pulling for you.
Be well.
My experience was things got interesting after 2 weeks. I swear all the immediate physical benefits took a turn right around that time. It was almost as if my body started to trust the process that I meant business this time. I have been Tested in almost every way possible I the last 2 weeks. Like - How bad do you really want this ?!
So be prepared to sharpen your sword. Look away if you have to, find your resolve, and remember, you are in a battle for your life.
Pulling for you.
Be well.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
