AugustWest11

Self destruction Has slammed shut That's it that is all it is .. After today's post and Scott's comments and such; I realized whole heartily that is what drinking will do to me .

It is my own self destruction .. Me always talking and posting and whining about my urge my window and so on; it's not about the alcohol as much as it is about self imploding . Not sure Why I think this way; and can't say I like it .

13unluckyforsom

It's slow suicide. That's how I thought of it towards the end. It's just killing yourself slowly, horribly, miserably every day and you can't stop it.

UNTIL YOU SAY

STOP!!!!!!!

AugustWest11

Yea; I think that hit me .. It me harder the fact of what I have been doing to those around me and in my life though .. But I turned a corner today; for some odd reason .. Maybe it was Scott; maybe it was the Texts w\ my Ex.'s Mother ( I know very weird right lol ) But some how some way; I turned a corner and made it over this hump that has been driving me down since I started this journey .. after my 1st relapse never occurred to me; after the 2nd one I knew just didn't seem to care .. But now; not sure something sparked me today ..

MythOfSisyphus

Yeah, nothing good can come of it. You're wise to walk away.

AugustWest11

Nothing at all .. It would just be my downfall; and I don't plan on going out like that .. Not now not ever .. Too many people to prove wrong for 1 lol

Eleni58

hayley86

Stay strong AW!. Congrats on your sober time.

AugustWest11

Thanx Haley, I am I think. Just feeling strangly calm.

soberclover

I love hearing about people's "ah ha" moments! I think you are experiencing a little peace and serenity...you deserve it!

AugustWest11

Short lived; But TY .. Now in tears

lessgravity

Why in tears?

AugustWest11

My ex came home crying & I know it's cause I am here & it hurts her too much too see me