SoberChristy

Hi friends. If you have seen my posts here before, I am struggling with alcohol addiction. My goal was to quit AGAIN yesterday, but I got so bored with the holiday and nothing to do/nowhere to go. Bad excuse. I'm on the train to work and feel terrible. I wish I could stop. I really want September to be sober. Help :-(

ScottFromWI

Welcome back SoberChristy. You can definitely have a sober September if you would like to. Reading here is a great place to find support, have you tried any local support or help at all? You hit the nail on the head when you "bad excuse". Regardless of whether we are bored, stressed, tired, etc - we still consciously make the choice to pick up that first drink. Blame doesn't help - action does. As far as being bored goes, there are a myriad of things you can do to keep from getting bored. For me in early recovery, It was keeping myself busy with simple things around the house - cleaning, organizing, cooking, etc. Perhaps you can make a very regimented schedule for yourself - and don't include drinking as any of your planned activities! Stay with us and I hope you feel better today

SoberChristy

Thank you Scott! It seems that I cannot simply be at home and relax without a drink (or 6). I feel like a failure. I want this nightmare to end.

Renarde

Hi Christy, Jump into the September class thread. It's full of people who want to make the same changes as you for the month of September. You are welcome to join!

ScottFromWI

You are not a failure, and you can make it end. As i had asked before, have you sought any local support like AA or perhaps an addiction counselor? You hold the keys to sobriety, but they only work if you decide you want to use them. That means being uncomfortable for a while, and perhaps doing some things you don't really want to do right now. ( Like going to aa, seeing a therapist, etc. ). But remember it all starts with you.

SoberChristy

I saw a therapist for about 2 months, but could not afford it anymore. I ended up in the ER after an overdose so now have to use all of my extra money to pay those bills. I have never tried AA.

ScottFromWI

I don't use AA but it works for a lot of people. Living in Seattle you should have many, many choices for meetings. Why not give one a shot? SR is great too - but you might be surprised how much local support can help too.

Nuudawn

Hey Christy. Yes, you can stop. For me, support is vital to my recovery. I find a lot of that here at SR. I also have a therapist (which I was fortunate enough to find free through a local transition house) and AA was definitely on my list when I first sat down with myself and decided to get sober..again. When I was a drunk, I liked hanging out with drunks. In sobriety, I need other folks in recovery to hold hands with.

AlefVavResh

Christy - 09-03-13 has a nice ring to it Hang on to that number. Next time you want to drink, imagine what you are feeling this morning.

SoberChristy

Thanks to you all! I am at work now. Feeling a little better. At least I had baked some zucchini bread last night to bring in to co-workers this morning. So that lifted my spirits a little.

Scott-I actually live about an hour out of Seattle, but commute to work in the city. I tried to go to a meeting once in my community, but could not find the room! Fail :-( I really need to give it another try.

AlefVavResh

lol, I hear you. Even bigger fail. I found the room but couldn't walk inside. Want to make a pact to go this week?

lommey

I went last night for the first time feel so much better. I was welcomed as I came in and another woman asked was it my first time. I said it was and she hugged me and took me into the room. Slept for the first night . Aa is well worth trying

SoberChristy

AlefVavResh-I love that idea! Why did you feel that you could not go inside? Let's do it this week :-)

lommey-That sounds wonderful. I'm so happy that you had a good experience. I hope that I can bring myself to that point.

AlefVavResh

I was only 98% sure it was the right room, lol. Mine is on Friday at noon. I'm going early.