Day 3, almost over.
 

I just wish I could sleep.

I spent my day cleaning up and taking inventory of my messes from the last month or so of non-stop drinking. It's not great. My kids are pissed and hurt, my friends nowhere to be seen, my farm is in disrepair and neglect. I should have my winter starts sprouted and be preparing for putting fall crops in the ground. Instead I have massive piles of overgrown squash and knee-high weeds.

I made it to my second meeting today. had to walk a mile and a half each way, which was actually kinda nice except for the pounding heart and sweating like crazy. I had to walk past a 7-eleven where I go for booze and decided to pick my girls up some ice cream. I was incredibly tempted but didn't buy anything, and am just going to try to avoid those places

Tomorrow I get to tell my landlord I'll be short again for a few weeks. Hope I don't start crying, but that seems to happen on pretty much an hourly basis or pretty much when anyone looks at me.

I havent gotten more than two or three hours of sleep since yesterday morning, worked my butt off outside, got a 3 mile walk in, have meditated and tea'd. Still no sleep for cuppycakes.

Thanks for reading.

Things might look pretty grim right now cuppycakes, but you're doing the right thing. Things will get better I promise :)

D

There are brighter day ahead Cuppycakes! You're on the right path.